World Wrestling Entertainment – King Of The Ring 2002 – 23rd June 2002
WWE’s year of woe continued in the weeks leading up to this pay-per-view. Steve Austin, for so long their most enduringly popular superstar, had grown increasingly frustrated at the creative direction of the company, the perceived lack of talent he was getting to work with and injuries limiting his own in-ring work. WWE had actually caved to his demands and let him work a feud with Eddie Guerrero (Eddie/Austin was booked for this show at one point), but after asking him to job to Brock Lesnar in a random, unannounced TV match he refused and walked out on the company. For the record, he has always stated it wasn’t putting Brock over he had a problem with, but that he felt it was a complete waste of his time and a serious waste of ppv-drawing potential not to market Lesnar vs Austin as a major match – and felt the inability of his superiors to realise that was the final straw at a time when he already had grave concerns about the company’s future prospects and plans for him. WWE buried him on TV, with Vince McMahon then The Rock (dragged back from his latest Hollywood hiatus) throwing him to the proverbial wolves. Will losing their biggest and most influential star since Hulk Hogan (the first time) be the kick up the ass the company so badly needed? With a scheduled main event of Undertaker vs HHH for the Undisputed Championship hopes may not be high – but once again there is enough talent on the undercard to keep you interested. The 2002 KOTR finals feature Chris Jericho, Test, Rob Van Dam and Brock Lesnar which is a pretty decent foursome. Eddie Guerrero’s replacement opponent is Ric Flair – so two of the dirtiest players in the game going toe-to-toe. Kurt Angle faces Hulk Hogan in what many people regard to be the best WRESTLING match of Hogan’s 2002 run…and even the minor titles have decent matches with Molly Holly challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title and Jamie Noble making his ppv debut going for Hurricane’s Cruiserweight Championship. Is tonight the show where WWE finally starts moving in the right direction again after well over a year of frustrating mismanagement? Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in Columbus, OH.
A slick video package really hypes up the significance of the KOTR this year, with most winners since 1993 (the first KOTR ppv) spotlighted. Understandably 1995 (Mabel), 1998 (Ken Shamrock) and 1999 (Billy Gunn) are skipped since they don’t really make the same point. This year the winner gets an Undisputed Title shot at Summerslam.
Chris Jericho vs Rob Van Dam
This is the first of the KOTR semi-finals. Jericho is looking for a route back into the WWE Title picture after seeing his stock plummet since WrestleMania. RVD’s career seems to be moving in the other direction. He actually beat Undertaker for the Undisputed Title on television (Flair overturned the decision), then went on to regain the Intercontinental Title from Eddie Guerrero in a memorable Ladder Match at the end of May. These two are documented as not being the biggest fans of each other, but more often than not produce the goods inside the ring.
Both men look to avoid an early mistake and begin with some basic chaining as they test for weaknesses. Their evenly matched skillset is emphasised, then Jericho doesn’t like RVD’s thumb posing so slaps him in the face. He MISSES the springboard dropkick to the apron though, tumbling out of the ring and into position for Van Dam to hit a somersault plancha. The IC Champion looks for the Five Star early but Jericho shoves the ref into the ropes to crotch him. BUTTERFLY SUPERPLEX by Y2J gets 2! The former Undisputed Champion exposes a turnbuckle bolt then drops RVD with the Breakdown for another nearfall. He is more comfortable at a slower pace and works on making it hard for RVD to breathe – both with repeated shots to the ribs and back, and also by choking him whenever possible. He does such a good job that he is able to quickly shut down multiple Van Dam comeback attempts – then spikes him right on his neck with a German suplex for 2! Desperate split-legged moonsault scores for RVD but he looks extremely weary as he lunges into a cover. Walls Of Jericho countered to a roll-up for 2! He tries to catapult Chris into the exposed turnbuckle bolt…only for Jericho to catch himself, spring back then knock his face into it! Lionsault misses…FIVE STAR MISSES! LIONSAULT gets 2! RVD goes for a hurricanrana but is walked into the Walls Of Jericho instead! Rob makes the ropes, and knocks Jericho back for the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! He books a spot in the finals with a victory at 14:32
Rating - *** - I think this is the match that prompted Jericho to go onto his website for a rant at internet fans and call this a ‘five star match’. I’m not sure it’s that good, but it was rather enjoyable and certainly continues what has been a decent run of ppv opening matches (normally featuring RVD) starting at WrestleMania 18. There’s no doubt that this was extremely hard-fought, though I could have done with RVD even remotely attempting to sell the work Jericho was doing on his back and ribs as it would have made the Walls Of Jericho spots far more powerful. The last few minutes, with fast-paced counters, near-misses and hot nearfalls were really exciting and the highlight of the match for me.
RVD tells Jerry Lawler that he doesn’t care who his opponent is in the final before Jericho rather unsportingly puts him in the Walls Of Jericho…
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar watched the whole thing on a monitor. Paul hypes up his client as they leave for the ring
Test vs Brock Lesnar
This is our second semi-final, with a now-injured RVD awaiting them in the finals. Since Van Dam beat Jericho in the first match it leaves Test as the last remaining Smackdown representative in the tournament. Unfortunately his prospects look bleak as he faces the undefeated, dominant Brock Lesnar.
Brock’s presentation continues to evolve into the wrecking machine we now know him to be, with the first ppv appearance of his familiar entrance music (rather than generic, ominous WWE grunge rock). Test is taller than him so immediately this takes on a very different feel to watching him toss around the Hardyz. Unfortunately the crowd still aren’t buying into Lesnar as the ‘next big thing’ and keep chanting ‘Goldberg’ at him. That wouldn’t change until The Rock got to work with him sadly. Brock leaves the ring to avoid the Big Boot then returns to chop the Canadian down with a spinebuster. He didn’t quite ‘get’ how to be a monster in the ring at this point, but every so often he shows flashes of serious potential – like when he pins Test, gets a nearfall then simply clubs him IN THE FACE with a lariat whilst sitting on the ground. Full nelson slam by Test, followed by the Pumphandle Slam for 2. Big Boot scores and the crowd really buy into that as a serious nearfall. That’s all Test gets though, and he is vanquished soon afterwards with the F-5. 08:18 is your time
Rating - * - There were some decent ideas here, and signs that Brock was really developing into something special rather than just the latest monster off the WWE production line. Unfortunately these two never really clicked as opponents. Test had been a pretty loathsome heel for most of the last year, so positioning him as a babyface absolutely tanked. He’s a serviceable talent with the right opponent but at this point Lesnar was miles too green to help him out. And unlike the smaller guys on the roster, Test couldn’t bump all over the place to sell Brock’s offence – which was a big part of his attraction at that point. In the end it became a little ugly, but the right man won to set up an intriguing final.
Coach is in the Raw locker room, getting their thoughts on the all-Raw KOTR final. Bubba Ray Dudley picks Brock Lesnar as the winner, and announces his own plans to ‘make an impact’.
Replacement Kevin Kelly (Mark Lloyd – I remembered his name) talks to Smackdown stars about it too. Lance Storm and Christian emerge to complain because they wanted to see Test vs Jericho: an all Smackdown and all-Canadian final.
The Hurricane vs Jamie Noble – WWE Cruiserweight Title Match
Jamie wasn’t someone WWE originally picked up during the WCW buy-out, but he never dropped off their radar and stayed in the HWA (which had pretty close ties to the WWF). He finally debuted as the redneck boyfriend of Tough Enough 1 joint-winner Nidia (who, unlike Maven, actually spent some real time in developmental before being called up). Nidia was herself brought in to play the crazy ex of Shane Helms/The Hurricane and now wanted her new squeeze to extract revenge. This was actually relatively fun and entertaining, and remember, the WWE doesn’t want the Cruiserweights to be more exciting or entertaining than the big, old guys in the main event (hence Kidman and Tajiri haven’t been seen on ppv since Backlash). Interestingly, this has routes going all the way back to WCW when Helms and Noble were in the rival 3-Count and Jung Dragon factions.
Hurricane is still without his cape after Nidia stole it from him…she also stole his mask and wore it like panties in the same angle if you’re interested. The problem with Noble’s redneck gimmick is that, whilst he was a strong character, his wrestling was so technically good it wasn’t really in keeping with the rest of his personality. He starts by comprehensively out-working Helms, then effortlessly countering out of a grounded headscissors attempt. Nidia botches grabbing Hurricane’s legs (yes, you can botch that spot apparently)…but still just about succeeds in distracting him for long enough to allow Noble to hit a clothesline on the floor. Like Jericho earlier, his offence seems focused on the midsection and making it as hard as possible for his opponent to get his breath. Unfortunately Hurricane completely no sells it to hit a crossbody…which presumably pisses Jamie off so much that he plants him hard with an electric chair drop. The wrestling is pretty solid in this although you wouldn’t know it from Lawler’s commentary – he hasn’t mentioned anything other than Nidia being a redneck slut all match. Sleeper hold applied by Noble, once again making it tough for Hurricane to breathe. The superhero rallies to hit a neckbreaker, followed by a blockbuster out of the corner for 2. Eye Of The Hurricane COUNTERED into a bridging German! Somehow the champ recovers from that and does hit the Eye Of The Hurricane – which only gets 2. He tries to get his cape back from Nidia, and when he fails he SUPLEXES NOBLE OVER THE TOP ROPE! FLYING CROSSBODY TO THE FLOOR! AVALANCHE SWINGING NECKBREAKER BACK IN! But it hurts Hurricane’s ribs so much he struggles to recover…and Nidia is on the apron distracting the ref anyway. HURRI-CHOKESLAM NAILED…FOR 2! Noble hits a powerbomb, and wins because (apparently) Nidia knocked Hurricane’s foot off the ropes. Extremely flat finish at 11:58
Rating - *** - It’s a shame they rather blew the finish, because the match before it was surprisingly good. They got plenty of time (a shock in itself) and wrestled a really sound match with both men working appropriate body parts for their finishers and dialling up the speed and intensity of the action as it progressed. I have some reservations with the Noble/Nidia gimmick, but James Gibson is a superb wrestler and a welcome addition to the WWE roster. As I said at Backlash, the Cruiserweights could have been a genuine asset to the company as part of the brand extension. Their presence on Smackdown could have been a big draw and unique selling point for the blue brand – IF the writers had the sense to take the handbrake off.
EARLIER TONIGHT – The Rock arrives in the arena. JR and King speculate as to what his agenda is
Eddie Guerrero tells Terri Runnels that he doesn’t think Flair is capable of hanging with him.
Ric Flair vs Eddie Guerrero
As discussed at the start of the review, this was originally going to be Guerrero against Austin until Stone Cold walked out. Panicking after losing starpower on Raw, WWE dragged Chris Benoit (along with The Rock and Shawn Michaels) back early. He and Eddie both blamed Flair for Austin’s walk-out, which denied Guerrero a potential breakout ppv match and denied Benoit the chance to get some revenge for the neck injury which cost him a year of his career. They assaulted the (now former) Raw owner, and this match was booked under the premise that Flair thinks he has ‘one last run’ in him.
Guerrero can’t stop smiling in the early minutes, as he dominates the veteran. The smile soon vanishes after he absorbs a single chop, delivered with such force that it drives him out of the ring. Eddie tries to trade chops with Naitch, who has seen it all before and easily counters it – engineering a situation where he can deliver a cheeky low blow to remind Eddie who invented lying, cheating and stealing. Guerrero endures a torrid few minutes, but rebounds well and starts targeting the leg he and Benoit injured on Raw. Part of that is a brilliant spot where he hangs Ric’s leg in the bottom rope – then slingshots into a double stomp to the chest which crushes his ribcage and jars his bad leg simultaneously. Figure 4 applied to the Nature Boy, though without the Wolverine in the ring backing Eddie up Flair finds it a lot easier to escape. Lawler (who is actually doing some serious commentating in this one rather than sh*tting all over it) questions why Guerrero then starts working the neck rather than staying on the leg…with Flair almost making his point for him as he recovers sufficiently to back drop Latino Heat to the floor. Frog Splash misses and the resurgent Flair returns the favour by going after Eddie’s leg! Chris Benoit makes his return to pay-per-view at this stage, marching down the aisle just as Flair locks in the Figure 4. Guerrero hasn’t been weakened as much as his opponent and escapes into a rather cumbersome nearfall exchange. CRIPPLER CROSSFACE ON THE FLOOR BY BENOIT as inside the ring Guerrero has the ref distracted! The ref didn’t see it but tries to eject the Wolverine anyway…as inside the ring Bubba Ray Dudley runs in to take Guerrero out with the Bubba Bomb. Flair snatches the win at 17:00
Rating - *** - This never really threatened to get overly exciting, and the run-ins and interference at the end felt rather out of place. However, I have to admit it was a really engrossing experience watching Flair, the vaunted ‘dirtiest player in the game’ against Eddie ‘Lie, Cheat & Steal’ Guerrero. It’s a shame the lie/cheat/steal aspect of Eddie’s persona hadn’t been fully developed by this point as that is something they really could have played up to far more than they did. Eddie wasn’t the only one screwed over by Austin’s departure either. Flair had been turned heel with the sole purpose of rehashing the massively stale Austin vs authority storyline, so without the key protagonist their WWE made the rather awkward decision to remove him from Raw ownership (despite that being the only kayfabe reason they did the ‘Brand Extension’ in the first place) and make him a babyface again. The crowd didn’t buy it here, even though his in-ring performance was actually pretty decent. A straight Austin/Flair match at Judgment Day would have been infinitely better than the Big Show/Handicap Match bullsh*t and might have been enough to convince Stone Cold to stick around for longer – another example of nauseatingly bad booking in 2002.
William Regal and Christopher Nowinski are on a date at ‘The World’
Trish Stratus vs Molly Holly – WWE Women’s Title Match
This is a big step up in quality from Trish’s last ppv opponent (Stacy Keibler), though we are right in the middle of the thoroughly degrading ‘fat ass virgin’ gimmick for Molly Holly. That loathsome gimmick is one of those examples where even most fans could see that it was cruel and sucked – but it continued anyway. On the bright side, she is a solid worker and Trish has her work cut out to retain her championship here. The extent of the ‘feud’ we get recapped beforehand is a clip of Molly choking Trish out with her own panties.
Molly takes advantage of Trish’s anger and cheap shots her whilst the champion desperately tries to get the ref out of her way. Hey King, the reason there isn’t anyone chanting about Molly’s ‘fat ass’ is because most of the crowd realise this storyline sucked. The stimulating commentary moves onto a discussion of men in thongs, as in the ring Holly is doing a really slick job working over Stratus’ shoulder. Trish shows her continued improvement as a worker by seamlessly climbing up her opponent’s back for a victory roll, then popping right up for a beautiful neckbreaker. A violent drop toehold throttles her on the bottom rope as Molly takes control again though. Molly Go Round countered with the HEADSTAND frankensteiner! Holly then counters the Stratusfaction into a perfect German suplex. Molly Go Round misses (with JR asking if her ass broke the ring – sickening), but Holly rolls up Trish using the tights to win the title at 05:40.
Rating - ** - The match was pretty solid, and as with my review of the Women’s tag at Insurrextion 2002, I don’t want to penalise the wrestlers because the commentators were such complete assholes. It was quite apparent here just how good Trish had become, because she wasn’t just hanging with Molly, she was actually out-wrestling her at times. Molly’s push would disappear relatively quickly after this sadly, mostly because the cruel gimmick they saddled her with was so repulsive fans didn’t like it. No doubt she was blamed rather than the creative team…
Mark Lloyd irks Kurt Angle by implying that Hulk Hogan is an ‘American hero’. I have a real problem with the general premise of his response – that being that he IS an American hero for winning the Olympics (a real sport), but Hogan isn’t because pro-wrestling is fake and he’s only famous because Vince ‘told him’ so. He even goes so far as to call himself ‘legit’. His point, of course, is valid – but when you have your wrestlers openly discussing WWE as a work it totally undermines your entire product.
Hulk Hogan vs Kurt Angle
Other than the WrestleMania match with The Rock, this feud was pretty much the best thing Hogan did during this run. He wanted to retire (in kayfabe obviously) after losing the Undisputed Championship at Judgment Day…only to be interrupted by Vince McMahon, who pointed out that he had the Hulkster under contract and was going to keep milking him for every penny whilst he was still signed. Hulk was forced to indefinitely postpone his retirement, but decided his mission now was to get a match with Vince at all costs (that was the long game – for WrestleMania 19). Vince positioned Kurt Angle between them as a buffer and we got some pretty entertaining skits where Angle made fun of Hogan for being old, and Hulk making fun of Kurt’s baldness in return. I’m not saying this was scintillating writing, but compared to a lot of the utter sh*t they were running at the time (big fat virgin Molly for instance) at least this was pseudo-entertaining and had a clear purpose in mind. That being to elevate Kurt back closer to the main event spots in the short term, and build to Vince/Hogan in the long term.
Angle is still competing in a wig at this stage, which must be exceptionally uncomfortable. Hogan is quick to put him in his place by tossing him across the ring to showcase his immense power. Kurt has to leave the ring after spending minutes struggling to overcome the size and power difference he is faced with. He’ll always be the eventual loser in a slug-out with the Hulkster…and is soon tossed straight through the ropes to the floor. He has to resort to a low blow as Hogan tries to remove the headgear holding his wig in place to finally force his way into the match – at last allowing him to showcase his superiority as a pure wrestler with a couple of snug back suplexes. Sleeper hold applied, taking the match to the ground where Angle has an obvious advantage. Even when Hogan does power out Kurt is waiting to drop him again with the ANGLE SLAM! Unfortunately it only gets 2, and Hogan is waiting with the standard Hulk Up formula. Rather than drop the leg he rips off Kurt’s rug! That delay gets a huge pop but costs him the chance to hit the Leg Drop. Angle brings a chair into the ring…but it bounces off the rope and accidentally pops him in the mouth! BIG BOOT! LEG DROP COUNTERED TO THE ANKLELOCK! AWESOME COUNTER! Hulk tries to fight it but Kurt holds on! HOGAN TAPS! Angle wins at 12:08!
Rating - *** - It shouldn’t have surprised anyone that Kurt was the man to drag another really decent match out of Hogan’s ageing body. It didn’t last long, but they hit the PERFECT tone. Hogan was too strong, Angle was too deadly on the mat, Hulk got the pop for exposing his bald head – and the climactic Leg Drop to Anklelock sequence was utterly fantastic. Hogan tapping was practically unheard of too, so it’s a huge rub to Angle that they booked this.
SIDENOTE – It’s a shame that a lot of the good stuff Hulk did during the year between WrestleMania 18 and WrestleMania 19 is often overshadowed by his catastrophic Undisputed Title run (and the goofy Mr America stuff after Mania 19). Rock/Hogan was an all-time great moment (and the sequel at No Way Out 2003 is more entertaining than you might remember), tapping out to Angle here almost immediately reignited Kurt’s career and made him a credible main eventer after being relegated back to the midcard for most of the year, the Edge/Hogan Tag Title run was a lot of fun and infinitely preferable to some of the crap they’d done with the Tag belts in 2002, he emphatically put over Brock Lesnar on TV in the way Steve Austin refused to do – and the eventual Hogan/Vince match was entertaining as hell too. In some ways the 2002-2003 Hogan/WWE tenure produced some of the best moments of his entire career, where he had some half-decent matches and largely put over deserving guys. It’s not actually his fault that the writers panicked at HHH’s lousy babyface run and hotshotted the belt to him. It’s not his fault that he had to feud with Undertaker. I can criticise Hogan with the best of them – but watching this match with Angle served as a timely reminder that in a really crap time for the WWE he actually did a lot to enhance the product. He looked old, he wrestled like sh*t and in the 21st century enjoying the Hulk Up/Big Boot/Leg Drop act was enjoyed ironically rather than seriously. But he saved WrestleMania 18 from being a total suckfest. He put Kurt back into the main event picture – erasing six months of midcard drifting in one night. And the Lesnar/Heyman double act are still bragging about Brock’s demolition of the Hulkster twelve years later in 2014. I felt it right I show him a little respect. I don’t ever want to sit through the Backlash or Judgment Day main events again though…
Booker T is hanging out backstage, when Goldust jumps into shot dressed up like The Rock. Unfortunately Goldy doesn’t see Rock himself behind him, and is verbally smacked down by the Great One. The segment draws some genuine laughs (Rock and Goldust are hysterical), but it’s worth pointing out that Booker hasn’t wrestled on an actual ppv (not including Insurrextion) since WrestleMania. Such a waste of his talent…
EDIT – I went back and checked. He was #30 in the Royal Rumble and was eliminated almost instantly. He was in a filler tag match at No Way Out that lasted seven minutes, then at Mania he was in the ridiculous ‘shampoo commercial’ feud with Edge…leading to a match which went around six minutes. Less than 15-minutes total ppv ring-time in 2002 thus far, for a guy who was genuinely a credible main event talent when he came from WCW. It doesn’t matter how funny the BookDust team were – something is clearly wrong with that picture.
Brock Lesnar vs Rob Van Dam – King Of The Ring Final
As I said earlier, this is a rather intriguing KOTR final. Lesnar is undefeated and starts as the obvious favourite of course, despite the skills and popularity of RVD. But the presence of Heyman, who played such an important role in masterminding and mentoring Van Dam during his rise to prominence in ECW, adds a real x-factor to this. Will Paul E. show any sentiment or mercy to the man who once held his company’s Television Championship for almost two years? Or will Heyman know all of RVD’s tactics and secrets, and have simply used his knowledge to give Brock all the tools he needs to secure the victory and move on to Summerslam and a shot at the Undisputed Championship?
RVD does his best to pepper Lesnar with strikes and speed…but after a minute of minor success finds himself getting drilled into the mat with a big powerbomb to counter the tumbling monkey flip. The pace instantly slows as Brock stomps around the ring completely manhandling Mr PPV. Rolling ribbreakers leave Rob’s torso mangled before Lesnar looks to use all his strength and size with an energy-sapping bearhug. Everything he does pulverises Van Dam’s ribs, before his inexperience costs him and he ducks his head before charging straight into the ringpost. RVD capitalises with a springboard thrust kick and Rolling Thunder…but it barely gets 2 before Brock kicks out by hurling him across the ring. FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! But it hurts RVD’s ribs, and as he stumbles around in pain Paul Heyman chokes him in the ropes. F-5 wins it for Brock at 05:42
Rating - *** - The idea here was to push Brock up the card (after the feud with the Hardyz went a little long and derailed his initial momentum), and this match was booked absolutely perfectly in that regard. RVD got to save face by hitting a few popular spots, but ultimately took a crushing defeat as Brock rampaged to victory. He needed to dominate this, and look as impressive as possible, if people are to start taking seriously as a threat to the WWE Championship in just two months time at Summerslam. Not the best match, but from a long-term viewpoint this was great. I’m a massive RVD mark, and even I can see that Brock was a considerably better investment than Van Dam, so throwing his popularity under the Lesnar bus is extremely sensible. It’s just a shame they had Test look credible with Lesnar in a longer match earlier. Personally I think it would have been more effective if Brock had squashed him (and everyone else) on his way to victory…
Triple H is on his way to the ring for the main event, but finds his path blocked by the remnants of the nWo – his old buddies Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash and X-Pac (along with Big Show). They tell him they are happy to help if needs any assistance in his match.
Undertaker vs Triple H – WWE Undisputed Title Match
These two had a half decent match at WrestleMania 17, but have feuded and met countless times since then and produced absolutely awful matches…so I have no idea who thought this would be a good idea. If you recall, it was Undertaker who cost HHH the Undisputed Championship at Backlash – something the Game never forgot. When the Deadman became Undisputed Champion at Judgment Day it meant he was able to appear on both Raw and Smackdown, victimising and brutalising anyone that crossed his path. Helmsley soon made his presence felt to Undertaker (ironically saving a very young future-Evolution stable-mate Randy Orton from a beating) and demanded the title shot and vengeance he’s felt he deserved for two months. They clashed at Insurrextion in the UK in a fight so ‘intense’ that they broke the ring, so what will they do tonight with the top prize in the company at stake?
Paul Heyman joins commentary for this as he scouts ahead of Brock’s title shot at Summerslam (against neither of these two as it turned out). He is, however, significantly more interesting than any of the ‘brawling’ the two ‘wrestlers’ produce in the opening five minutes. You’ll notice Lawler doesn’t say much with Paul E. out there – because Heyman is significantly better at King’s job than he is. Undertaker starts controlling the match, which makes sense since all they’ve done is kick and punch each other – and as he’s bigger it stands to reason he’d hit harder. HHH hits a suplex on the floor which may well be the first actual wrestling move of the match – and we’re almost ten minutes in. Taker isn’t in a selling mood tonight it seems, and soon smacks him back down with the diving clothesline. Another couple of minutes plod past with minimal action before Helmsley whips the champ into an exposed turnbuckle bolt…and follows it with a rather weak looking spinebuster. As I’ve mentioned, Undertaker isn’t in the mood to sell, so is straight back up to drop HHH on the bolt in return. HHH NO SELLS HIM RIGHT BACK to land a jumping knee lift. Sadly if it’s going to come to down to a battle of who sells less Undertaker will always win. Earl Hebner is taken out as the ‘action’ picks up in the 15th minute…and The Rock comes out into the arena. He chases Paul Heyman into the crowd and takes over his spot on commentary. Rock’s entrance was about as exciting as this entire match thus far. Triple H dodges a chair shot and scores with some punches. Undertaker’s method of selling those is to boot The Rock in the face. Even Howard Finkel looks bored sh*tless by this match by the way. Rock comes for some payback on the Phenom but accidentally levels HHH with a chair instead. Triple H blades (because cutting yourself is easier than wrestling an actual good match) and stumbles into the Last Ride. Replacement ref Nick Patrick only gets 2 on that so Taker punches his lights out, and whilst doing so doesn’t see Rock getting back into the ring preparing to level him with a Rock Bottom. That gives both wrestlers an excuse to LIE AROUND for a couple of minutes. HHH is up first and hits a Pedigree then lies down again for a rest before eventually pinning Undertaker, though Hebner hasn’t recovered sufficiently to count anyway. Amazingly, they decide the best way to end this is with Undertaker hitting HHH in the balls, then rolling him up using the tights. It’s over at 23:43
Rating - DUD - This was even worse than HHH/Hogan. At least in that match you had the excuse of Hulk being ancient, injured and a bad worker. These guys went out there and had nothing better planned than nearly 25 f*cking minutes of punching and kicking each other – and they should be embarrassed. In 2002 it doesn’t feel fresh, unique, or interesting having HHH and Undertaker in main events. Taker has been around since the early 90’s, whilst Hunter has main evented constantly (unless injured) since 1999. The fact that they feel completely stale should inspire them to work harder, and produce better matches to stay over – but instead they produced a complacent and utterly idle slugfest. If I had worked this match as a heavyweight champion (not to mention ‘locker room leaders’ as I’m sure these two would proclaim to be) then had to walk back into the dressing room I couldn’t look the likes of Guerrero, RVD, Jericho, Benoit, Edge, Angle, Lesnar or every single Cruiserweight in the face. A shamefully self-indulgent and effortless display, where it was perfectly clear that these two ‘veterans’ had absolutely NOTHING planned for the match other than ‘stall until Rock comes out and covers our lazy asses’. Both Undertaker and HHH are still capable of having great matches TWELVE YEARS LATER in 2014, so there is absolutely no excuse for this phoned in performance. If they felt that main eventing a ‘minor ppv’ like King Of The Ring was below them, why f*cking put them there? It was sh*tty business decisions like letting lazy veterans bore the tits off of your fanbase which took WWE from it’s place at the heart of pop culture in the late-90’s to an increasingly irrelevant and boring freak show in the mid-00’s. I could rant for days about how much I hated this match
The Rock re-emerges to give Undertaker a People’s Elbow, then gets dropped with a Pedigree by HHH. Undertaker who STILL ISN’T F*CKING SELLING, is already up after The People’s Elbow. So the show ends with him Chokeslamming HHH mere seconds after taking Rock’s finisher. A perfect way to end an absolute sh*tfest of a main event.
Tape Rating - ** - The weird thing is, even after that disgustingly dreadful main event, I actually come out of this ppv feeling far more positive about 2002 WWE than I have done since the Royal Rumble. It really felt like Austin walking out was the slap in the face that Vince needed. Sure he went on TV and buried him, but his biggest star since Hogan walking out (whilst his other ‘biggest star since Hogan', The Rock, wanted out to focus on Hollywood too) clearly had an effect on the boss. For the first time in over a year it really felt like the priority of this show was to start moving the focus onto the ‘next generation’ and producing a decent in-ring product again...after months of poorly executed storylines with the relics from the late-90’s (Undertaker, Austin, HHH, nWo etc) making the main event scene almost unwatchable. Jericho and Rob Van Dam got nearly FIFTEEN MINUTES in an opening match to produce something decent. The Cruiserweights actually got a) a ppv match and b) a decent time allocation. Veterans were actually used sensibly to make new stars – with Flair getting a similar in-ring time allowance to work with Guerrero, then Angle getting recalled from the midcard wilderness and given one of the biggest wins of his career by making Hogan tap. They also pulled the trigger on Brock Lesnar in a major way here. His demolition of the perennially popular Rob Van Dam in the KOTR final made a massive statement, and they followed that up with Heyman’s excellent commentary appearance in the main event – with his agent effortlessly positioning Brock as a top line guy and a worthy challenger for the WWE Championship. It also helps that Austin’s departure was hidden behind three high profile comebacks – with Rock, Benoit and Shawn Michaels all back in the company and all in a position to boost the quality of the in-ring product in the coming months. HHH/Undertaker was horrendous, there’s no denying it. But that match was booked and planned before Stone Cold’s walkout, so they had to follow through with it. There’s no excuse for the poor performance of the two participants, but it feels like WWE have turned a corner and realised the need for actual good matches and new stars if they want out of this creative rut. I’m not pretending that the main event, and lack of a 4* match doesn’t drag this whole ppv down. This is a thoroughly skippable show where outside of watching Angle make Hogan tap and the start of Lesnar’s rise to the WWE Championship there is very little of real significance. But I come away feeling positive enough that the embarrassing main events of recent months, coupled with Stone Cold’s departure (not to mention having to change the entire name of the company) was when the promotion finally hit rock bottom…and from here the only way was up. Hopefully.
Top 3 Matches
3) The Hurricane vs Jamie Noble (***)
2) Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan
1) Rob Van Dam vs Chris Jericho (***)