World Wrestling Federation – Insurrextion 2002 – 4th May 2002
This would be the UK-exclusive pay-per-view before the notorious ‘Plane Ride From Hell’ – a now infamous charter flight from England back to the US which featured multiple alleged misdemeanours such as Lesnar and Mr Perfect shooting in the aisles, Goldust using the intercom to serenade Terri, Ric Flair exposing himself to stewardesses, Bradshaw punching Michael Hayes (before X-Pac cut his mullet off) and Scott Hall being so inebriated that Justin Credible claims he had to be taken off the flight in a wheelchair. Only the Raw roster made the trip, meaning this is technically the first single-brand ppv event. Unfortunately the Raw roster at this point was woefully thin on talent so the card is pretty much horrible. The ‘main events’ have HHH facing Undertaker and Stone Cold taking on the Big Show, whilst perhaps the pick of the undercard matches sees Rob Van Dam look to take back the Intercontinental Title from Eddie Guerrero. Technically this is also one of the last ever pieces of television to carry the World Wrestling Federation branding, as it was the following Monday that the company reinvented itself as World Wrestling Entertainment. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in London, UK.
Eddie Guerrero vs Rob Van Dam – WWF Intercontinental Title Match
As we saw at Backlash, Guerrero returned to the World Wrestling Federation after overcoming his personal demons and promptly defeated RVD to become the Intercontinental Champion once again. RVD now looks to regain the belt in double quick time.
This is RVD’s UK debut for the WWF, and he gets a thunderous welcome. Eddie is sent packing with a spinning heel kick, with Van Dam quickly giving chase with a MOONSAULT off the apron! Back in the ring he hits the split-legged moonsault variant for a close nearfall as Guerrero struggles to get started. The champ decides to bash Rob’s face into the ring steps, and follows it up inside the squared circle with a brainbuster. Back suplex then a rear chinlock after that as Eddie turns the screw and grounds his high-flying opponent. Most of his offence seems targeted on RVD’s neck, but it doesn’t stop him somersaulting over the ropes into a sunset flip for 2. That scare causes Eddie to change approach and start focusing on the leg instead. An anklelock is applied first, with a dropkick to the knee and a kneebar coming moments later. Rob’s super-flexible kick to escape that submission hold was awesome but his respite is short-lived as Guerrero drops him again with a dragon screw. He manages to plant Eddie with a superkick but is unable to follow up such is the extent of his injuries. Tumbling monkey flip eventually scores, into a Jackhammer! Rolling Thunder nailed as well though again he loses time before pinning thanks to the damage he has sustained. Finlay roll, straight into a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! Five Star Frog Splash MISSES! Eddie has been caught by one of Rob’s trademark potato shots and wants to exact revenge by hitting him with the belt. The referee is shoved aside in the process…and promptly disqualifies him at 11:23
Rating - *** - I actually preferred much of this match to Backlash. Of course the finish was abysmal and Rob’s selling wasn’t great, but it was non-stop action from the opening bell which never once let up – and it was significantly more even than Backlash. Eddie dictated proceedings at the last ppv, so this time RVD flew out of the blocks and went straight to high risk moves like flips off the apron. Guerrero, in turn, showed his technical superiority with by using a couple of different strategies to wear his challenger down – before the lousy DQ conclusion left everyone with a sour taste in their mouths. An improvement on their first match, but you feel like they are still waiting for their chance to really do something special together.
Rob gets to whack Guerrero with the title belt then Five Star it into his sternum after the match, but he still leaves frustrated…
SIDENOTE – You can stop watching this show now. Believe me, this is as good as it gets…
Terri interviews Molly Holly and Jazz ahead of their match. Molly complains about the Divas exploiting their bodies and acting like sluts, then throws a hissy fit about Page 3 Girls too. Terri flashes her bra which actually makes Molly’s point in fairness…
Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs Jazz/Molly Holly
Jazz is still Women’s Champion, and has become an unlikely ally of Molly Holly on her quest to stop the Divas flaunting their bodies and being exploited – since both of them want to wrestle rather than be seen as tits and ass. Trish and Jackie are also pretty talented wrestlers, but they see no problem with flashing some skin every now and then – hence this match is needed.
I get that Molly is supposed to be a heel, but listening to Lawler mock Jazz for being ugly during their entrance certainly makes you sympathise with her cause. The heels try to jump their opponents but find Jackie ready for action and able to grapple Molly to the ground. Jazz comes to her aid and hits a diving slam. Trish tags and is STIFF as she chops Holly in the corner before getting taken down with a reverse heel kick from the Women’s Champion. Bitch Clamp applied (whilst Lawler calls her a ‘minger’). Molly is next in line for humiliation as Lawler makes fun of her for being a virgin, rather than talk about the handspring elbow she just crushed Stratus with. Trish retaliates with a neckbreaker on Jazz for 2. Jacqueline gets the tag and drops the champ with a DDT as well, but then gets distracted by Molly. It allows Jazz to lock in a half crab, then an STF. Trish dives in with a sweet elbow drop to make the save…with f*cking Lawler rambling on about puppies instead. Stratusfaction on Jazz as Jackie drops Molly with a tornado DDT! The babyfaces win at 07:41
Rating - ** - This was a pretty solid formula tag match, with minimal mistakes and sloppiness and an extremely supportive live crowd. Lawler was utterly vile on commentary, but I really don’t want to penalise the women inside the ring for him being such an unpleasant person. Trish and Jazz are developing a really keen rivalry…
Hall and X-Pac hang out backstage ahead of Pac’s match. He says he’s never coming back to England if he loses to Bradshaw tonight…
Bradshaw vs X-Pac
The big Texan lost to Scott Hall at Backlash, albeit with plenty of interference from X-Pac. Tonight he goes for revenge on the nWo by delivering a crushing overseas defeat to Waltman. Scott Hall doesn’t accompany his friend to ringside, but we know he’s in the building to likely to make his presence felt.
The generic, DVD-dubbed nWo music is TERRIBLE. Bradshaw easily overpowers X-Pac from the bell, even after getting raked in the eyes. In fact, Bradshaw doesn’t want to sell Waltman’s kicks either and literally drops him on the ground rather than sell a spinning heel kick. Pac starts working the leg and hobbles him sufficiently that he is able to ram his face into an exposed turnbuckle bolt. It cuts the Texan open (something Michael Hayes would exploit on the flight home reportedly) and X-Pac has control for the first time. The blood really starts to flow, with Pac repeatedly punching at it – particularly anytime Bradshaw attempts a comeback. It is the sheer size of Bradshaw that finally allows him to hit back. He hits a swinging neckbreaker then mows his adversary down with a top rope shoulder tackle for 2…only to be taken down again as Pac hits a spinning heel kick aimed right at his bloody forehead. Fallaway slam from JBL…prompting Scott Hall to toddle down to ringside. He clocks Bradshaw with X-Pac’s nunchuks…which is pretty much no sold before Hall is blasted with the Clothesline From Hell. Pac capitalises and hits the X-Factor for victory at a LONG 08:47
Rating - * - To accentuate the positives, this was at least better than Bradshaw/Hall from Backlash. Then again, Waltman is in considerably better condition than Hall was by this point. This match was still largely boring and completely flat – and even more annoyingly was punctuated by a few moments of sloppiness and obvious miscommunication. These guys are both vastly experienced and should be capable of much better than this even in house show mode. Hall’s inevitable run-in was as predictable as it was lame too.
Coach is with Undertaker, who isn’t interested in Triple H’s big comeback story. He simply wants to beat him up just like he did to Hulk Hogan on Raw that week.
Steven Richards vs Booker T – WWF Hardcore Title Match
I’m not really sure how Stevie got from Right To Censor, to Kronik’s manager, to Hardcore Champion in blue shellsuit pants but I’m guessing it wasn’t that memorable (edit – they show a video package, and it wasn’t). As an ECW alumnus he should have no problems in the Hardcore environment though. The same can’t be said for Booker T. Last year he was a main event player in WCW – now he’s having to scratch around in matches like this.
I bet Bubba Dudley is delighted as Lawler interrupts JR talking about Bubba’s seriously ill mother to ask the ‘more important’ question of whether we can ‘dig it, sucka’. Booker stomps Richards into the ground and brings weapons in, and levels him with a baking tray despite Stevie trying to toss all the hardware out of the ring again. Trash can to the head next, then a superkick through the can for 2! Richards kicks him in the balls and waffles him with the already mangled baking sheet…and as Booker rolls outside he hurls the garbage can at his spine. Houston Sidekick misses and Steven locks in the HARDCORE REST HOLD. Dropkick through the trash can gets a nearfall for the champion, though the crowd has really lost interest by this point. 110th Street Slam gets 2 for Booker, who then deposits another trash can on Stevie’s head. HEAT SEEKER THROUGH THE CAN for 2! Stevie Kick to counter the Ghetto Blaster! Book End nailed, and Booker is the Hardcore Champion at 10:48.
Rating - ** - There was no shortage of effort from either man here, it was just booked to go a little long when the live audience had so little interest in Richards. It got to the point where Booker T was getting less and less popular simply because he couldn’t beat what the public perceive to be a jobber. A couple of neat sequences saved this at the end
Crash Holly runs in and immediately pins Booker to become Hardcore Champion…before being dropped with the Ghetto Blaster and pinned right back. Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer decide they want a piece of the action too…but Credible inadvertently superkicks Tommy to ensure neither of them get to be Hardcore Champion. Steven Richards returns with Jazz, who low blows Booker so Stevie can flapjack the champ through a table. After all that we’re back where we started and Steven Richards leaves London as Hardcore Champion once again.
Shawn Stasiak can hear voices in his head as Paul Heyman tries to convince him to stay out of Brock Lesnar’s way and not even tag in when they team tonight.
Hardy Boyz vs Brock Lesnar/Shawn Stasiak
Brock has been beating the Hardy Boyz senseless since he debuted, and boasts referee stoppage victories over both of them. Matt and Jeff still want a piece of him though, but would only compete tonight if it was a tag match. Paul Heyman had to find Brock a tag partner, and paired him with Stasiak (whom himself had been beaten senseless by Lesnar on TV). Shawn is completely crazy remember…
It looks like Heyman and Lesnar have tried to leave Stasiak in the locker room…but he sprints past them as they enter the arena, straight into the ring so he can start the match. He actually hits a spinebuster on Jeff, and is clearly listening to the voices from ‘Planet Stasiak’ rather than Paul E.’s instructions. Matt drops him with the Side Effect before Lesnar drags him away from the Poetry In Motion and forcibly tags himself in. Brock MURDERS Matt (who still has bad ribs from previous Lesnar-inflicted beatings) and clobbers Jeff off the apron for good measure. Finally Brock makes a mistake and accidentally collides with the ringpost…prompting Stasiak to blind tag in! Jeff flies through him with Whisper In The Wind, then Matt gives him the Twist Of Fate! Swanton Bomb wins it for the Hardyz at 06:42
Rating - ** - Although this doesn’t have a lot going for it, considering this is a glorified house show it could have been a lot worse. Brock Lesnar got to look like a killer, the Hardy Boyz got a popular victory after weeks of getting their asses kicked, and the Lesnar/Heyman/Stasiak dynamic produced moments of genuine comedy. I could have done with it going a minute or two shorter, but this is far from the worst match on the show.
Lesnar isn’t remotely pleased at the loss, and promptly dispatches both Hardyz with F-5’s. Stasiak gets the running spiral bomb as punishment for his error too.
William Regal is backstage (and gets a big pop) ready to be interviewed by Jonathan Coachman. As usual they have him cut a promo to ensure he gets heel heat despite being in his home country.
Spike Dudley vs William Regal – WWF European Title Match
Despite being ‘ashamed to be British’, Regal is still looking to regain the European Championship he once held with such pride. The plucky underdog Spike Dudley has enjoyed plenty of success this year – including taking the Euro Title from Regal last month.
Despite the promo he just cut there are plenty of ‘Regal’ chants as he effortlessly wrestles Dudley to the mat. There are also loud boos when Spike starts hitting him back. Acid Drop blocked, with Spike apparently landing wrong and hurting his ankle. A doctor comes out to check on him and tries to help him to the locker room. Ever the gentleman – Regal punts him in the injured ankle (and gets a huge cheer for doing so). ANKLE-FIRST SLAM IN THE ROPES! That is followed by a Tiger Driver and the challenger is now so confident he pulls Spike’s shoulders up on the ensuing pinfall. That over-confidence winds up costing him dearly as Dudley wins with a flash pin at 04:56
Rating - DUD - A complete waste of Regal in his home country. The crowd were really into him, but the silly angle they worked with Spike’s leg meant they didn’t even get to see him wrestle a proper match. Aside from the ‘Queen’s Cup Match’ versus Chris Jericho at last years Insurrextion I can’t remember a single time WWF have really used Regal well on one of these UK-only shows.
Regal obliterates Spike with the Power Of The Punch and leaves with the vast majority of the crowd chanting his name
Big Show vs Steve Austin
At Backlash a mistake by special referee Ric Flair cost Stone Cold the chance to become #1 contender for the Undisputed Championship. Austin was furious with the Raw owner, but Flair offered to make it right by giving him a match against the New World Order with Bradshaw as his partner. Unfortunately the nWo then took out Bradshaw, so Flair made another terrible error. He put Big Show in a team with Austin instead, not knowing that Show had joined the nWo. He turned on Stone Cold during the match, leading to Austin getting another ass kicking. The Rattlesnake now wants revenge against both Flair and the nWo – and starts tonight with a match tonight against Show.
Flair decides he wants to be a special guest enforcer to ensure Hall and X-Pac don’t interfere. Big Show easily overpowers Austin, with the crowd calling him a ‘fat bastard’ (which Austin clearly finds hilarious). The Rattlesnake goes after the big man’s legs but can’t get him off the ground despite multiple shots…and is levelled with a massive clothesline which drops him straight on his battered neck. More kicks to the leg follow and finally he gets Show off his feet so he can work on the leg in earnest. He rattles the knee around the ringpost and has Big Show limping. Even with a leg in pain he’s still much bigger than Austin though – and he easily scoops him in the air and drops him with a massive body slam. Lawler tries to ask JR how big Show’s penis is – seriously. Big Show doesn’t sell the leg at all for a couple of minutes, but then leaves the ring and randomly acts like it hurts again. I can’t help but feel sorry for Austin who is sweating buckets and looks in terrible pain as he bumps on a back body drop (which for Show means he is MILES in the air). This match is almost twelve minutes long now, which means Big Show ran out of moves a long time ago. Austin dives off the second rope into the Thesz Press only to be grounded again with a big boot. Hey Show…SELL THE F*CKING LEG. Instead of selling the leg, Show inadvertently nails Nick Patrick with a clothesline…then turns into a Stone Cold Stunner. Hall and X-Pac run in…but Flair runs then off with a kendo stick. Austin wants to know why Ric didn’t count the pin instead, as Kevin Nash comes through the crowd. STUNNER ON NASH! ROLLING STUNNERS ON SHOW! Austin wins at 16:01
Rating - DUD - I feel bad for Austin because lord knows he tried hard, but Big Show is a terrible wrestler and simply isn’t equipped to contest matches of this length without any smoke or mirrors to cover his big, talentless backside. He couldn’t even do something as simple as sell the leg, and bored the crowd anytime he was on offence – to the extent that you were actually glad when all the run-ins started happening so we actually got some excitement. A rather succinct demonstration of everything that was wrong with Raw’s main event scene at this time.
Flair interrupts Austin’s celebrations looking for credit because he stopped Hall and Pac getting involved. Predictably he is sent packing with a Stunner too.
Undertaker vs Triple H
Despite being a Smackdown wrestler, the feud between these two has become so intense that WWF authorised Helmsley joining the Raw roster on this UK tour just so he could get his hands on the Deadman. Undertaker cost him the Undisputed Championship at Backlash, and since then both men have crossed the brand extension and invaded each other’s shows to beat each other up. They look to settle it tonight…
Hot start from HHH, who lands the jumping knee strike and knocks Undertaker out of the ring with a clothesline. Taker tries to go Old School but is thwarted with a TOP ROPE ARMDRAG as his bad start to the match continues. We are almost five minutes in before me drops Helmsley with a guillotine on the ropes – making an impact for the first time. He attacks the neck with elbows and leg drops then gets even more ruthless as he starts assaulting the leg…prompting HHH to whip him into the ropes with such force that the RING BREAKS. The top turnbuckle snaps, meaning the entire top rope is now loose…as the two men sprint to the middle of the ring and take each other out with simultaneous clotheslines. Hunter recovers quickest and hits a couple of neckbreakers followed by a spinebuster for 2. Pedigree blocked, but then the Chokeslam is countered with a DDT (although it looked awful). The turnbuckle bolt loudly breaks completely as their bodies crash into it, and Taker at last does succeed in hitting a Chokeslam for 2. He tries to bring a steel chair into the ring but as he shoves Earl Hebner aside to use it Triple H charges and knees it into his face for 2. Pedigree wins it at 14:29
Rating - ** - On the one hand this was pretty unexciting and dull, but on the other, when you compare it to the insanely boring Undertaker/Austin match from Backlash this felt like Misawa/Kawada levels of good. The broken ring probably helped make the rather basic, house show mode match feel a lot more intense than it actually was. Undertaker had some good ideas – like working the neck for his finishers or targeting HHH’s quad – but they never really went anywhere. HHH ran through his moveset and tossed in some generic brawling but never got out of first gear either.
Tape Rating - * - Perhaps the worst of all the UK-exclusive pay-per-views. Guerrero and Van Dam redeem the show to an extent (although even their match left a bad taste in your mouth thanks to the lousy finish) but everything else is different shades of sucking. If I’m forced to list some minor positives I’d say that the Divas tag was ok, the Lesnar/Stasiak stuff was borderline amusing and the Undertaker/HHH main event wasn’t appalling. But seriously, even if it’s on the WWE Network this isn’t worth your time watching at all
Top 3 Matches
3) Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs Jazz/Molly Holly (**)
2) Triple H vs Undertaker (**)
1) Eddie Guerrero vs Rob Van Dam (***)