World Wrestling Entertainment – Judgment Day 2005 – 22nd May 2005
We’ve seen how the Raw brand followed up on WrestleMania with the decidedly average Backlash 2005 pay-per-view, now three weeks later we have the Smackdown brand’s next live extravaganza. I’m actually a little concerned as I prepare for this review…because the card actually looks rather good. The main event is an I Quit Match between John Cena and JBL which is frequently referenced as an iconic match in the legendary career of Cena. The undercard features a singles match for Paul London (defending the Cruiserweight Title against Chavo Guerrero) whom I’m obviously a huge fan of, and a PPV debut for MNM – an act I also really like. We also have Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero locking horns in something of a grudge match, and a showdown between Kurt Angle and Booker T which borderline rape-ish angle between Kurt and Booker’s wife Sharmell which most have thankfully forgotten. Michael Cole and Tazz are in Minneapolis, MN.
SIDENOTE – Has WWE Network recently updated their parental controls…or are the I Quit Match and Kurt/Booker/Sharmell stuff really so graphic that they warrant additional ‘Parental Guidance’ warnings before the show starts?
MNM vs Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas – WWE Tag Title Match
Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro ended the Tag Title reign of Eddie and Rey (kick-starting their feud in the process) in their main roster debut match, creating quite the stir. Mercury (formerly known as Joey Matthews in ECW and the indies) is the experienced hand. Former Tough Enough winner Nitro is on his second crack at the main roster, having been relegated back to OVW after a failed tenure on the Raw roster as Eric Bischoff’s assistant. Melina is the attractive and supposedly charismatic female bringing some much-needed star power to the group. Interestingly, I heard a Jim Cornette podcast where he said that after they’d run this gimmick with such success in OVW, WWE actually wanted to bring it to the main roster with Nitro and Melina but replace Joey…until someone pointed out that it was Matthews (Mercury) that effectively ‘captained’ the team and came up with a lot of their ideas. They defend against two tough but directionless midcard stalwarts with nothing better to do…
Nitro starts out by trying to wrestle with Haas…who looks so pissed off by that he actually armdrags him straight out of the ring. Watching Johnny before the Morrison/Mundo gimmick feels really strange, but so many of his mannerisms and smooth movement around the ring were already there by this point. Hardcore Bob also looks less than enamoured with having to sell for the new kids, so largely opts to ignore all their offence and stiff the sh*t out of Mercury. Nitro saves his partner from the Alabamaslam…giving MNM the chance to isolate Holly by targeting his surgically-repaired neck. Again, in all honesty, Bob does near enough nothing to sell for them and basically goes through the motions until he can get a full nelson slam on Johnny then tag out. Charlie tosses both champions to the floor…then storms across the ring for a SUICIDE DIVE! Melina distracts him to kill his momentum, whilst Nitro sends Hardcore shoulder-first into the ringpost. Snapshot wins it for MNM at 08:05
Rating - ** - First point to note: the crowd for this one were outstanding. Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas haven’t been as over as they were here in years. To an extent you can attribute that to an entertaining and fresh heel act like MNM being involved – but the actual wrestling here was very average so the fans deserve a lot of credit. I’m a massive fan of MNM. Morrison/Nitro is so much fun to watch, Joey Matthews is a slick performer who held things together well…and Melina is seriously hot. I felt like there were a few timing errors from Nitro (who appeared to miss breaking up a pin when required) and Melina (who needed a couple of attempts to trip Haas) but nothing that really derailed them. Haas making Johnny Nitro look like a b*tch on the mat in the first minute was great, and I thought MNM going after Holly’s neck was a great touch (if only he could have been bothered to put them over by selling it).
Carlito Cool vs Big Show
Despite being an obvious filler match, it gets a lengthy pre-match hype video narrated by Cole and Tazz for some reason. Carlito fed Show a poisoned apple during one of his ‘Carlito’s Cabana’ talk-show segments, then recruited Matt Morgan (yes, still employed by WWE at this point) as his bodyguard/enforcer. Morgan assisted in assaulting Show with a steel chair and is at ringside to support Carlito tonight too.
Carlito tries to run away from Big Show; surviving more than a minute of the contest before getting cornered and chopped. Morgan quickly intervenes by pulling the ropes down and causing Show to tumble to the ground. Referee Brian Hebner is knocked out of the ring too meaning Carlito can low blow his way out of a chokeslam. Morgan runs into the ring now…and muscles Big Show up for an F-5! Carlito wins at 04:41
Rating - DUD - Carlito really was gaining traction as an undercard heel, so I can see why giving him a tainted win over Big Show (and giving him something else to be a cocky dick about) made sense. I don’t understand why this was on pay-per-view rather than on Smackdown though. This had nothing to justify splashing out to watch a PPV to see, and it would actually do more to elevate Carlito (and Morgan) if the TV audience got to see it rather than a couple of hundred thousand PPV buyers.
Next they run a video package on the Angle/Booker feud – and yeah it really is uncomfortably adult. I could even live with Kurt wanting to nail Sharmell – he has previous with the enjoyable love triangle storyline he’d done with Triple H and Stephanie years earlier. But repeatedly calling her a ‘gutter slut’, demanding ‘bestial’ sex with her, threatening to ‘dominate’ her then locking himself in her locker room and appearing to sexually assault her is crazily appalling television. We cut to Booker’s locker room, where Kurt has sent handcuffs and lingerie to Sharmell. Book storms off into the arena to look for him.
Paul London vs Chavo Guerrero – WWE Cruiserweight Title Match
Last time we dropped into a Smackdown pay-per-view Paul London produced a courageous run to the finals of a Cruiserweight Title gauntlet match, only to be cheated out of the belt by Chavo. London finally won the belt himself right before WrestleMania so now enters as defending champion in this ongoing rivalry.
Guerrero is apparently stronger so gains an upper hand by pummelling the champion with strikes in the opening minute. He keeps his offence focused on stretching London’s midsection and ensures a methodical pace is maintained. Wisely Paul quickens things up – leaping off the second rope for a double stomp then hitting the drop-sault. 450 SLASH GETS KNEES! And more damage done to London’s ribs too. The challenger makes it even worse with a gourdbuster across the top rope, followed by an abdominal stretch. Even when London does land some offence – a belly to belly suplex – he is capable of nothing more and slumps to the mat struggling to catch his breath. Quebrada misses, but London blocks the Gory Special and floors Chavo with a spinning heel kick. Guerrero sensibly leaves the ring to stop him going for the London Star Press…so Paul simply pivots on the ropes for a CRAZY SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO THE DAMN FLOOR! Holy sh*t did he hit the ground hard! Guerrero is actually up first after that and piles into Paul’s ribs again with a tope suicida. He thinks about the Frog Splash only for Paul to toss him off the ropes. 450 SPLASH! London retains at 10:41
Rating - *** - I don’t think the way they paced this match – with so much methodical Chavo offence – did many favours for them in terms of winning over the live audience, but I enjoyed this. Chavo working slow and working the ribs made a lot of sense since London is quicker and uses big top rope moves to win his matches. It also gave Paul license to go for some crazy sh*t, since he knew his only chance to win was to work a fast pace and blitz his experienced opponent with aerial strikes. I’m not the most impartial of critics here as I’m a huge London mark, but I thought this was very decent overall – packing in the thrills, spills and highspots people love from the Cruiserweights with some sound wrestling strategy too.
Booker T is roaming the arena searching for Angle…encountering multiple jobbers, none of whom have seen him. They haven’t seen him because he’s snuck into Booker’s locker room to harass Sharmell again. He pins her on the sofa, covers her mouth, and tells her he can ‘have her’ any time he wants. Just wow…
Kurt Angle vs Booker T
Who thought this angle was good television? And how isn’t it as infamous as Katie Vick or Mae Young’s hand baby? Kurt Angle, respected Olympic Gold Medallist and multi-time WWE Champion apparently now has a fetish for rough sex with ‘gutter sluts’ (his words, not mine) and has decided to sexually harass Booker’s wife on multiple occasions. Common decency is well in the rear-view mirror with this storyline folks. As such, this grudge match really does boil down to Book wanting revenge on someone for attempted rape (at the very least) on his wife…because who needs cops and a legal system when you can grapple right?
As you’d expect, BT starts the match by punching Kurt’s lights out. He soon has Angle bleeding from the mouth as Kurt, bless him, actually takes this seriously and tries to grab a hold to grapple his fired up opponent to the ground. He clings to a headlock, and credit to Tazz he really puts over how dangerous a mat worker Kurt is and how smart it is to use his grappling as a defensive strategy. Book kicks his way out of the Anklelock then delivers the Axe Kick to the bad neck as Angle hangs draped over the top rope. Somehow Kurt manages to brain Booker against the ringpost – giving him every opportunity to get the match back into the ring and to the canvas where he can pick apart someone who can’t hang with him technically. Booker’s ultra-aggressive approach continually comes back to haunt him now with him repeatedly missing wild offensive strikes and getting easily countered by the Olympian. Kurt is dominant and finds time to smirk and grin as he rides Booker to the ground again with a bearhug. Booker goes back to what worked earlier in the match and starts punching Angle all over the ring again. Axe Kick misses…Angle Slam countered…BOOK END NAILED! FOR 2! Again he lines up the Axe Kick, only to find it blocked by a lariat – with blood flying out of Kurt’s mouth now. ROLLING GERMANS! Then a belly to belly when Book counters the German! Angle Slam prepared, only for Booker to drop to his knees and roll Kurt up for an awkward three-count at 14:08.
Rating - *** - Up until they bottled it with a sh*tty finish I was seriously considering going to 4* on this. It’s actually one of my favourite Booker T singles matches that I’ve seen in my Retro WWE Review series. The storyline that got them here was awful, but stripping that away the wrestling match here was great! Booker played to his strengths and conveyed his emotion as the wronged husband perfectly – mostly ditching any kind of wrestling moves and just trying to beat the sh*t out of Kurt (apart from one needless Spinaroonie). Whether it was intentional or not, it really helped that Angle spent the whole match bleeding heavily from the mouth as it really played up how violent Book was being with him. In turn Kurt did exactly what you’d expect from an Olympic Medallist in a fight – grab a hold and take the motherf*cker down! Watching a real battle unfold between Booker’s street brawling style and Angle’s mat-based stuff was fantastic. I’m really disappointed they didn’t go to a proper finish, and hated what they did end with (the flash pin and controversial ‘did Kurt kick out at 2’ moment). The quality of the work beforehand deserved a better conclusion.
Kurt disagrees with the decision of course, and as Sharmell comes out to celebrate he makes her watch as he attacks Booker from behind. He pulls out handcuffs with the intention of using them on her…but instead gets handcuffed to the ropes himself by Book. Both he and Sharmell tee off on Angle, thankfully ending this entirely unpleasant storyline.
Orlando Jordan vs Heidenreich – WWE United States Title Match
This was during OJ’s run as Bradshaw’s ‘Chief Of Staff’, where he actually got quite an extended run with this belt. He defends tonight against Heidenreich, who is back on the undercard as the comedy mental case – and right before he started running the 2005 Legion Of Doom gimmick with Animal. Apparently Heidy beat Jordan in a non-title match shortly before this PPV to earn a shot…
Heidenreich stalls by pulling a little girl out of the audience and reading poetry to her. That’s not at all creepy…on a show which has included Kurt Angle sexually harassing women. It’s actually for the best though as it means we have to see them wrestle less. The little girl gets to sit at ringside and watch as Jordan tries to jump the challenger. BACK DROP DRIVER nailed! He dumped Heidenreich on his neck with that, and stays on the same body part with a neck vice soon after. Orlando Magic targets that body part as well and gets a nearfall. He eventually beats Heidy with a DDT at 04:54
Rating - * - The stuff with the little girl was weird and I didn’t like Heidenreich’s creepy poetry reading gimmick anymore as a goofy babyface anymore than I did when he was a lunatic heel. Whisper it quietly though, but Orlando was actually pretty good! He drew decent heat, worked the neck like a competent pro, hit one really sick move and although the finish was totally flat it did at least make complete sense considering he’d been working the neck.
John Bradshaw Layfield is interviewed by Josh Matthews, clutching the old Undisputed Championship (Smackdown WWE Title) belt in protest because he hates John Cena’s ‘spinner’ belt. He vows to make Cena bleed tonight before making him quit.
Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
The hype video for this is phenomenal and worth seeing in and of itself. It also features a brief Jimmy Jacobs cameo. The gradual split of the Eddie/Rey friendship/team seems like it was a really entertaining angle – before a lot of the ‘who’s your Papi’ stuff came in, which I know many liked but I really didn’t. Chavo getting in Rey’s ear and making him question Eddie’s commitment to their team was such a devious little plot twist as well. In essence they’ve lost the Tag Titles to MNM, then Eddie ‘lost his temper’ and ‘accidentally’ cost Rey a shot at the WWE Title…before their duo finally dissolved in a Smackdown UK taping when he walked out on their rematch with MNM leaving Rey to get assaulted. Latino Heat temporarily put Mysterio on the injured list with a violent and bloody attack soon after…and has warned Rey not to return to active competition here tonight…
Eddie’s new heel entrance includes an ‘evil’ remix of his theme music and entirely removes the fancy bouncing car…and it is rather sad to watch! Mysterio’s entrance is also devoid of theatrics and he comes out with heavily taped ribs. Like a total bastard Guerrero kicks and knees at those ribs from almost the opening bell to get the upper hand. Quickly he has the match on the outside where he pitches Rey into the steel steps. REPEATED SPINEBUSTERS ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Even when Mysterio escapes back to the ring his midsection is punished again with a huge back suplex for 2. He tries a desperation hurricanrana attempt…only for Guerrero to counter into a seamless alley-oop which crunches those ribs again. Eddie tries a back body drop…but Rey averts disaster by landing on the apron! SPRINGBOARD DIVING HEADBUTT BY REY! Latino Heat instantly shuts down the comeback attempt with a dropkick to the ribs followed by a Boston crab…and when Mysterio grabs a rope he simply slings him straight under the bottom rope to splatter onto the rock hard floor. Guerrero wants to repeat the ringstep brainbuster spot he debuted on TV to cement his turn on Rey and viciously punts his former friend in the stomach to set him up. Mysterio counters with a 619 ROUND THE RINGPOST! The crowd is really biting on every hint of a Mysterio comeback by this point. He lands the springboard seated senton for 2, but then slumps to the ground alongside Eddie. Going for broke Mysterio throws himself right at his opponent only to miss and collide with hard with the ringpost. SUPERPLEX by Eddie to capitalise! Three Amigos countered…tossing Guerrero into the ropes in the process! Chavo Guerrero arrives at ringside to save his uncle from the 619, as Eddie brings a chair into the ring. 619 nailed! West Coast Pop COUNTERED WITH A STEEL CHAIR TO THE RIBS! Guerrero is spectacularly disqualified at 18:30
Rating - **** - It is something of a shame that they didn’t get to tag a finish on to complement the genuine quality of the preceding match, but they have a story to tell and a feud to continue to I do understand the reasons why it went down this way. This perhaps wasn’t the match people wanted them to have, and was a hundred miles from Halloween Havoc 1997, but I thought it was superbly executed nonetheless – telling a great story AND keeping the live audience entirely engaged. Mysterio’s babyface performance here was magnificent. He sold the ribs well, his comebacks were brilliantly pitched and the crowd absolutely ate it up. The ‘lie, cheat, steal’ gimmick means that, other than a few smiles and a bit of posturing, Guerrero is wrestling almost no differently to how he worked as a babyface. As a result it takes a strong storyline and a remarkable babyface opponent for a WWE audience to buy into him as a heel again. Rey delivered that in abundance here. That WCW 1997 match is universally adored, and I’ve heard lots about the ‘who’s your Papi’ ladder match from later in this feud. But this had so much to like about it. I’m surprised it isn’t more fondly recalled.
Eddie doesn’t look overly concerned about losing the match and proceeds to absolutely destroy Rey with the chair.
John Cena vs John Bradshaw Layfield – WWE Title I Quit Match
Being frank, their WrestleMania match was a colossal letdown in every conceivable way. Cena’s first WWE Title win is forever tainted by what a terrible match it was. JBL’s ‘where did that come from?’ title reign (which was ridiculous at first but became somewhat admirable by the end simply through Bradshaw’s own hard work and ability to deliver a character) fell to the flattest and most anticlimactic of conclusions. What should have been the start of Smackdown’s new era became nothing more than a wet fish. This is their chance to correct what went wrong when Mania ‘went Hollywood’. In the main event of a Smackdown brand-exclusive PPV they aren’t competing with the Raw brand or the Undertaker’s Streak or Shawn Michaels showstealing antics…now they have a chance to deliver. JBL’s big question to John Cena is – if he didn’t quit against Eddie Guerrero, if he didn’t quit when Undertaker was making him bleed buckets and if he didn’t quit in a Barbed Wire Cage Match against Big Show…how does Cena plan to make him utter that phrase tonight?
Cena’s entrance…with pyro, a big rig truck and a live DJ scratching over his entrance theme is a WrestleMania-esque spectacle. He appears to catch Layfield off guard by out-wrestling him in the early minutes; effectively beating the ‘Wrestling God’ at his own game. It’s only when they start brawling on the floor that Bradshaw lands some offence – throwing the champ over the guardrails then chasing him into the crowd for a swinging neckbreaker on the concrete. It’s far too early for surrender yet so JBL rips a belt from a ringside official and uses it to choke Cena out around the ringpost. BACK DROP THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE by Cena! Layfield’s landing there was horrific and he doesn’t have a chance to recover before the champion is on him with a TV monitor. MASSIVE chair shot from Bradshaw to Cena in response! Cena is GUSHING blood…and no mercy is forthcoming from the challenger who brains him with the steps. Repeated lariats from JBL, leaving pools of blood all over the canvas wherever Cena lands. The live microphone means that Layfield can narrate the beating as he dishes it out but the champion refuses to quit. He rallies with the Protobomb into a blood-stained Five Knuckle Shuffle. F-U NAILED! Cena’s face is so bloody all you can see are his white teeth and the whites of his eyes…which widen in disbelief as JBL walks up the aisle in an attempt to escape. PROTOBOMB ON JBL’S LIMO! He wants more…but Bradshaw counters with a neckbreaker on the limo which leaves them both down. The microphone is so soaked in blood that it is barely functional either…and as JBL tries to choke Cena out he finds himself sent FACE-FIRST through a TV screen! With blood now pouring down his own face too he finds himself collared and smashed through one of the windows of the limo. SUPLEX ON THE LIMO ROOF! JBL flees again and crawls up onto the back of Cena’s entrance truck. DDT on the back of the truck brings the challenger back into proceedings…although neither of them can stand well and are both covered in blood. Layfield climbs onto a massive amp trying to choke Cena out with cables…but gets smacked off and crashes straight through the DJ table! Cena is on a rampage, and as he threatens to behead him with a huge exhaust pipe ripped off the truck Bradshaw begs for mercy…and quits at 22:41.
Rating - **** - Once again, despite all his detractors, one has to admit that JBL put his body through hell to deliver a credible main event here. Nobody would have hurt more than him at how uninspired the Mania title switch was. That title reign was his shot at finally breaking out of a career-long perpetual midcard slumber, and after dancing with mainstream credibility he was made to look a fool and denied a legacy-making WrestleMania moment. Tonight he and Cena put that right by bleeding buckets, taking some whacky bumps, utilising a fair few gimmicked set-piece spots…and ultimately delivered the memorable, gutsy and star-making brawl they were both searching for. Cena’s blood loss in this match is legendary, and rightly so – he is an absolute mess for most of it. If I’m being ultra-critical then I could point out that there wasn’t a lot of substance to this. It was violent and bloody, but there wasn’t much plot and I didn’t feel much stringing the action together from one set-piece bump or segment to the next. I don’t say that to belittle the courageous work they produced out there, or to overly negate their credentials as main event performers. I say it simply to point out why I didn’t go any higher on my rating…
Cena caps his celebrations by smashing JBL through a huge glass panel which forms part of the set.
Tape Rating - *** - I really liked this pay-per-view far more than I'd expected to. I can’t pretend that some of it isn’t extremely graphic and adult in nature, and I have absolutely no interest in revisiting Kurt Angle’s sex attacker gimmick…but I am a wrestling guy that enjoys good in-ring content and there was plenty of that here. MNM made their PPV debut in a punchy opener which the crowd loved (and I liked more than my 2* rating would probably suggest). The midcard boasts London/Chavo and Angle/Booker which were totally solid watches (again, ignoring the ridiculous storyline for the latter)…and the double main event of Eddie/Rey and Cena/JBL are both great viewing. Eddie and Rey absolutely killed it with their respective performances in this show. They didn’t have the spectacular thrill-ride bout that fans might have wanted (and have been waiting for since they didn’t get it at WrestleMania either) but the actual quality of what they did to was staggering. Mysterio was at his absolute best as the sympathetic babyface, and Guerrero was a genius at doing ALL his usual schtick but in a way which drew heat rather than cheers. Chances are you’ve probably already seen Cena/Bradshaw, as it’s a pretty infamous match and a real cornerstone moment for Cena as he was elevated from rising star to the centrepiece of the WWE ‘universe’. In truth JBL, who is acknowledged as an entertaining character and a solid-hand placeholder champion whilst WWE was in a major slump, probably produced his career-defining moment at this show…by being part of a major step on Cena’s meteoric rise to mega-stardom.
Top 3 Matches
3) Booker T vs Kurt Angle (***)
2) Rey Mysterio vs Eddie Guerrero (****)
1) John Cena vs John Bradshaw Layfield (****)