World Wrestling Entertainment – No Way Out 2005 – 20th February 2005
During this era the winner of the Royal Rumble was allowed to choose which ‘World Title’ they challenged for at WrestleMania…as we saw last year when Benoit opted to go for HHH’s World Heavyweight Title and became a Raw superstar in the process. Batista’s 2005 Rumble win led to a period of uncertainty, as mystery surrounded whether he’d stay on Raw to challenge Evolution stable-mate Triple H for the World Title, or transfer to Smackdown to pursue JBL’s WWE Title. At this point he still hadn’t made his final decision…but if he does opt to stay on Raw then Smackdown still needs a main event for WrestleMania. Tonight we’ll duly see both champion and challenger determined. Kurt Angle and Royal Rumble finalist John Cena meet in the finals of a #1 contendership tournament, whilst our main event here has Bradshaw defending his WWE Title against Big Show in a Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match (as promised at the Royal Rumble). If Big Show in a Barbed Wire Cage isn’t enough to make you worry about this event, both Luther Reigns and Heidenreich have singles matches on the undercard too. Angle, Cena, JBL, Eddie, Rey and the Cruiserweights will have their work cut out carrying the workrate on this card! Michael Cole and Tazz are in Pittsburgh, PA.
Michael Cole and Tazz announce that Batista will be here tonight…
Basham Brothers vs Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio – WWE Tag Title Match
When last we saw the WWE Tag Titles (at Armageddon 2004) they were around the waists of Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio. Since that point Van Dam sustained a serious knee injury which required surgery and caused him to miss almost the entirety of 2005, and the Bashams (part of JBL’s Cabinet) captured the gold. Rey has recruited a long-time friend/rival/contemporary in Eddie Guerrero to help him get the belts back…
Why do the Bashams still have porno music as an entrance theme? Danny starts for them and is made to look foolish by the massively superior wrestling skills of both Guerrero and Mysterio. Doug is more sensible, dragging Rey into their corner where they can cheat and gang up on him. They give Latino Heat the same treatment – effectively dividing and conquering their challengers. Guerrero is isolated and has his neck worked over by both Bashams…but then get too confident and try to hit him with a Chris Benoit flying headbutt. Danny takes advantage of how similar he and Doug look and switches places inside the ring without a tag, allowing him to ambush Mysterio as he comes in. He grounds the quicker man with a full nelson then a bear hug – both holds which allow him to use his size against the challenger. Back superplex blocked into a MOONSAULT PRESS on Doug for 2…but Basham instantly hauls Rey back into their corner to stop him building any momentum. Once more Danny grinds Mysterio into the canvas…but they have their thunder totally stolen by Eddie who has tied a second tag rope to the actual legal one giving him a greater distance to make a tag. As the ref puts a stop to that the Bashams hit a gourdbuster/facebuster combo for 2. Rey goes all kung fu movie to escape their clutches! ROPE RUN lucha armdrag/headscissors combo from Eddie to both champions! Danny smashes Rey into the guardrails, prompting Guerrero to try to use one of the title belts on him. Rey reasons with him…so a smiling Eddie lies on the mat pretending to be injured instead! It totally fools Doug who nearly falls to defeat. Next Eddie tosses the belt to Danny, prompting the ref to snatch it from him and turn his back on the action…as Rey throws the OTHER belt to Eddie! TITLE BELT SHOT ON DANNY! 619 ROUND THE RINGPOST ON DOUG! Eddie wins! New champs at 14:50!
Rating - *** - This was really enjoyable. The Bashams had gotten so much better by this stage, to the point where they wrestled a completely competent match and more than held up their end of the deal. It meant that Eddie and Rey didn’t have to worry about carrying their opponents and instead got to have some fun and showcase their own skills. The opening period established the challengers as the superior individual wrestlers…but then impressive heat segments on both challengers demonstrated that the Bashams were a better ‘unit’. When Guerrero’s hot tag was resoundingly shut down by the dominant champs it forced he and Rey (as veterans) to reach into Eddie’s bag of tricks. The elaborate title belt hoax was so much fun to watch, and a really crowd-pleasing way to get the belts off of the Bashams. And of course, this one isn’t even considered a pointless title change, since the Eddie/Rey tag team was the start of their ‘Who’s your Papi’ 2005 feud! A surprisingly strong start to the show…
Teddy Long instructs a lackey to give Batista the VIP treatment when he arrives. Carlito Cool is walking around with a board member’s wife, continuing his campaign to get Teddy fired…
Apparently we have a ‘Smackdown Rookie Diva Contest’ contest this evening too – hosted by Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. They are on commentary for an Evening Gown parade featuring Joy Giovanni, Rochelle Loewen, Lauren Jones and Michelle McCool. A WWE.com vote is deciding the winner of this magnificent use of pay-per-view time.
Heidenreich vs Booker T
With Undertaker having nixed the big Taker/Kane vs Heidenreich/Snitsky tag for WrestleMania, Jonny H is right back down the card. His feud with the Phenom now over, he faces Booker T tonight because Booker got pissed off at being laughed at on TV the previous week. It’s hard to tell if this will be of any more merit than the bimbos in ball gowns we just saw.
I forgot about Heidenreich’s poetry; he reads some to the live crowd ahead of the match. He uses his size to dominate Booker, who is apparently still fatigued from a lengthy match with Cena on Smackdown. BT breaks his momentum by leaving the ring then bashes his head into the steps to gain an advantage, but as soon as we go back into the ring we go back to Jon boxing him around. 110th Street Slam by Booker – who has sustained such punishment he struggles to get up afterwards. He does have enough in the tank for a Spin-aroonie of course. Heidenreich blocks the Axe Kick and the Book End…then hits Booker with a steel chair to get himself disqualified at 06:48
Rating - DUD - I’ve defended Heidenreich during his last couple of WWE pay-per-view matches because I felt he was working hard and having better matches with Undertaker than some people I’ve seen. This was awful though; painfully slow, completely pointless and a waste of Booker T who should have been a much bigger star on a roster as thin as Smackdown’s was in 2005.
This segment won’t end, as Heidenreich starts pinning Booker T and proclaiming himself the winner. Somebody send Joy Giovanni and her ass crack out again…
John Cena congratulates Eddie and Rey on winning the Tag Titles. Eddie gets serious and reminds Cena of the magnitude of the opportunity he has tonight – the WrestleMania main event is on the line. His big advice – don’t tap out!
Funaki vs Paul London vs Chavo Guerrero vs Shannon Moore vs Spike Dudley vs Akio – WWE Cruiserweight Title Match
This is a Gauntlet Match pitting six cruiserweights against each other with the last man standing leaving with the belt. Everyone else is at ringside, and a random drawing determined the order of entry. Sho Funaki is the defending champion. I think literally every fan would rather they’d have chucked all six of these guys in the ring at once and let them work a spotfest right?
London and Funaki start, which isn’t a great draw for the champ. As usual, Paul looks completely awesome but gets zero reaction. At least he gets to eliminate the champion at 01:36…but only after Spike had attacked Funaki from behind. Dudley himself is the next man in…and he is eliminated by Paul too at 01:57 after being superkicked by a vengeful Funaki. Moore dives in with a top rope flying headscissors for 2. He misses a corkscrew senton…450 SPLASH BY LONDON! He eliminated Shannon at 03:36! Akio is next in, peppering a tiring London with martial arts strikes. Paul blocks a superplex into an AVALANCHE SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Akio doesn’t make it back to his feet after that and is eliminated by knock-out at 07:05, giving us a final two of Chavo and London. Guerrero saunters in to pick apart his exhausted opponent. Paul grabs a rope to block a neckbreaker then hits a dragon suplex for a close 2. DROP-SAULT gets 2 as well! Sadly his fight ends in disappointment as Chavo grabs the ropes to pin him and win the title at 09:45
Rating - ** - I would rather have seen all six guys in at once, but obviously I’m happy about the fact that they booked my favourite worker in the match (London) to have such a great run. Given that they obviously didn’t give a sh*t about the Cruiserweight Title – hence the champ was ditched by London (who was basically a jobber) in mere seconds – it would have been cool to actually see Paul get the win here. Chavo is a safe pair of hands for the title, but isn’t exactly new or fresh.
Big Show sits backstage with a concerned look on his face. He ponders what he’ll have to sacrifice in the barbed wire main event for the WWE Title.
Torrie and Dawn are back for the second round of the Rookie Diva Contest. This time it’s a talent contest. Joy’s talent is massaging Torrie in her bra, Rochelle’s is telling jokes (obviously that bombs), Lauren’s is dancing like a stripper, Mrs Undertaker’s is body slamming Dawn Marie. Voting continues on WWE.com
SIDENOTE – That was awful, but SO awful it was significantly more entertaining than the Heidenreich vs Booker T Match. A visibly angry Dawn Marie burying all the fame-hungry models trying to get into the wrestling business really carried the entire segment.
JBL is well aware of the physical price he’ll pay to defend the WWE Title tonight. ‘This body is temporary…this championship is eternal’ – Bradshaw delivering a phenomenal promo.
Luther Reigns vs Undertaker
Why are WWE always so quick to toss whatever huge, muscled up project they are working on straight into the ring with Undertaker? It always ends in disaster? Nathan Jones didn’t even make it to the ring to team with him at WrestleMania 19, Heidenreich is a comedy character…and now it’s Luther’s turn. Has he learned enough under the tutelage of Kurt Angle to somehow survive the Deadman? He has stated he’s going to be making the Undertaker’s ‘yard’ his…
Mark Jindrak has been a central part of this feud, so it is pretty significant that Brian Hebner ejects him from ringside before Undertaker even gets out there. Luther exposes the top turnbuckle bolt as the only noteworthy point from a first three minutes which otherwise consist entirely of Taker punching him in the face. It’s he that feels the wrath of the exposed bolt though, getting whipped straight into it and collapsing to the floor. A low blow at the five minute mark is the first hint of Reigns offence…and he bounces Undertaker’s head off the exposed turnbuckle to quickly capitalise. As with every other Luther Reigns match, the second he has to carry the workload and spend any prolonged period on offence this starts to completely blow. He loosely targets Taker’s head looking to expose a rumoured concussion, but then works a half crab because he isn’t good enough to come up with any more moves to continue his previous approach. He looks gassed as well – then almost relieved when a clothesline from the Phenom means he gets to lie down on the mat and catch his breath. Reigns is basically a gasping lump that Taker is having to carry around now; lacking energy to sell the Snake Eyes properly then bumping ugly on a Chokeslam. Reign Of Terror blocked into the Tombstone. Undertaker wins at 11:44
Rating - DUD - You know what really annoys me? If Undertaker had put even half as much effort into selling for the likes of Kurt Angle, Booker T, DDP, RVD and others a few years ago then maybe the WWE would have a few more established main event draws and wouldn’t have to be frantically sifting through muscled up hacks like Reigns trying to find the ‘next big thing’. I’m on record as not being a particularly big Undertaker fan, but even I have to admit he was working damn hard here. He had to though, because Luther Reigns is completely appalling. He’d been working since the late 90’s so it’s not even like he’s green…he’s just an outright BAD wrestler with so much muscle mass that it has a hugely detrimental impact on his stamina and agility. He was painful to watch in this one, and made Heidenreich/Taker look like Misawa/Kawada in comparison.
Teddy Long is in the back getting increasingly anxious that Batista still hasn’t arrived. His job as General Manager may depend on his ability to sign The Animal to Smackdown.
The third and final round of the Smackdown Diva Contest is up next, with Dawn Marie refusing to come back out after getting slammed by Michelle McCool. It’s a swimsuit contest – possibly for the first time on pay-per-view since Mae Young got her tits out at Royal Rumble 2000. No old lady tatas this time, just some fake ones and some really desperate young women degrading themselves for a paycheck. The winner of the internet poll by a massive margin is Joy – who scooped almost two thirds of the votes.
John Cena vs Kurt Angle
This is the final of the #1 contendership tournament, with the winner getting a WWE Title shot at WrestleMania. Cena already came desperately close to earning that honour at the Royal Rumble, where he made it to the final two and a hugely contested climax before ultimately falling to defeat against Batista. He is still United States Champion though, and remains THE up and coming superstar on the Smackdown roster. He scored impressive wins over Orlando Jordan and Booker T to reach this stage. As we saw during his conversation with Eddie earlier, he doesn’t want to be known as a kid with potential anymore – he believes that his time is now. Kurt is the veteran presence that blocks his path, looking to cement his spot in the WWE Title Match for a third consecutive Mania. He also had an shorter path to this stage, getting a bye in the semi-finals thanks to a double count-out in the Undertaker/Dupree tournament bout. Has Cena’s time truly come, or will Angle’s big match experience and superior wrestling skills be sufficient to land another WrestleMania main event?
Tazz’s advice to Cena is stay off the mat…and that’s exactly where the US Champion ends up in mere seconds. John keeps trying to work his way to a vertical base, only for Angle to keep finding ways to ground him. After several minutes Cena gets what he wants – and lures Kurt into a fist fight. Their battle explodes over the top rope to the floor, then straight over the announce table with such vigour that Cole and Tazz go off the air! The fact that we are in Kurt’s hometown means there is a very 2017 ‘let’s go Cena’/’Cena sucks’ dynamic to the audience too. Angle rolls to the floor to evade the F-U! GERMAN SUPLEX INTO THE TURNBUCKLES! In a flash Kurt is all over the back and neck, exposing an injury and setting his rival up for the Angle Slam. Rolling Germans at the ten minute mark leave Cena reeling then Angle starts working crossfaces, camel clutches and chinlocks to further assault the neck. Just when all seems lost Cena succeeds in making this a brawl again; even raking the eyes to gain an advantage! It clearly has an impact – as he blocks a German suplex, then counters the Angle Slam into a DDT for 2. F-U…COUNTERED WITH A VICTORY ROLL TO THE ANKLE LOCK! Cena counters by kicking Kurt to the floor! FLYING LEG DROP TO KURT’S NECK! Everyone knew how bad Kurt’s neck was even by 2005, and that shot leaves him exposed to the F-U! FOR 2! Angle desperately attacks Cena’s leg, panicked by how close he just was to defeat. ANKLE TO THE RINGPOST! Cena can’t walk and basically collapses into the Angle Slam. ANKLE LOCK! However, just like Eddie Guerrero told him, Cena refuses to tap out. LEG GRAPEVINE ANKLE LOCK! Cena makes the ropes! Just like Eddie predicted, Kurt is getting pissed off – and in his fury inadvertently knocks out referee Charles Robinson. He goes for Cena’s chain…LEG SELLING F-U! CENA WINS! Cena is going to WrestleMania at 19:21
Rating - **** - Had they not thrown in that goofy and completely unnecessary ref bump I’d have gone an extra half star on this, it really was that good. That ref bump was SO needless I found it infuriating. Eddie set the finish up with his promo earlier, and it would have worked just as well if Kurt had gone straight for the chain without Little Naitch taking a spill. Everything else here was completely superb. Cena wanted to brawl but couldn’t outwork the wrestling machine so spent long periods getting his ass kicked. But he refused to quit, and made Angle panic when he attacked his bad neck and nearly won with the F-U. Kurt’s response was unreal; abandoning his previous strategy of working the back because it wasn’t getting the job done and completely decimating Cena’s ankle. In the end it was Guerrero’s prediction (Angle would get frustrated if Cena simply refused to quit) that made the difference. These two stole this ppv by a landslide, and this will have left everyone ravenous for the Olympic Gold Medallist against ‘Mr WrestleMania’ (Shawn Michaels) in LA...
John Bradshaw Layfield vs Big Show – WWE Title Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match
Without wanting to belittle what these men are about to put their bodies through, this isn’t exactly an ECW/FMW/Big Japan barbed wire cage. It’s just the regular Steel Cage structure with a reel of barbed wire wrapped around the top. As we already know, JBL has made a habit of surviving seemingly inescapable predicaments with his championship reign intact. He survived a summer of wars with the Undertaker, he survived Armageddon when every top challenger was in the ring with him at once, and he survived the Royal Rumble when both Big Show and Kurt Angle challenged him. On that night he had plenty of help from his Cabinet, then celebrated too hard and too disrespectfully for beleaguered Smackdown GM Theodore Long’s liking prompting to Teddy to book this as punishment. Against the massive backdrop of the Big Show, Bradshaw also has to worry about Batista – who is supposedly still attending this show and wants revenge for what appeared to be a hit and run attempt on him by JBL’s limo on Raw (it turned out HHH was the mastermind behind that scheme, but that hadn’t been revealed at this point).
Big Show actually struggles to fit through the door of the cage – if you need a reminder of how goddamn massive he is. Layfield uses his facials to sell the emotion of this match perfectly, and looks terrified of being introduced to the cage by his giant challenger. He goes low on Show…then hops up the cage for a closer look at the barbed wire for the first time. No chance of escape, he hops back into the ring and into a fallaway slam from BS. The camera zooms in on the fact that JBL actually cut his arm climbing up the cage. He rams Show head-first into the cage with such force that the cage itself nearly breaks…and Show comes up bleeding profusely. Superkick by a bloody challenger, followed by an ALLEY-OOP INTO THE CAGE! Bradshaw is busted open too as a result. Orlando Jordan and the Bashams are at ringside, but find the barbed wire too much to get past and can’t get inside the cage before Teddy Long arrives. OJ did manage to slide some bolt cutters to Layfield though…and he cracks Show in the head with them! Clothesline From Hell nailed – but only for 2! Chokeslam gets 2 for Big Show in response. Both men are complete messes and bleeding way more than they probably should be for a throw-away ppv. JBL tries to cut his way through the barbed wire with the bolt cutters, only to be caught up there and repeatedly brained against the top of the steel cage. They spend inordinately too long walking around on the top ropes, before Show grabs Layfield for a TOP ROPE CHOKESLAM…THROUGH THE RING! Since Bradshaw is almost under the ring he can’t pin him, so instead Show approaches the door looking to escape. It’s locked obviously, but Show is apparently a superhero now and rips the huge metal chain and padlock off with his bare hands. That is f*cking retarded in the extreme. Show walks out of the ring to seemingly win the match at 15:12! But unbeknownst to him, Bradshaw’s feet are actually already on the floor of the arena – albeit under the ring. Once again in ridiculously fortuitous circumstances, JBL retains.
Rating - ** - This had the potential to be a downright atrocious main event, so the fact that this wound up being passably adequate is something of a minor miracle. Layfield deserves plenty of credit, as this was a total filler main event but he actually made this seem like a major deal entirely through the strength of his promo work and acting skills. The merits of his run as champion can be discussed until the end of time, but by this stage his reign really had taken on a life of it’s own – with each pay-per-view bringing yet another odd, contrived and improbable title retention when all his hoped seemed lost. Nobody should pretend this was a classic but it never got boring, both men worked the overkill ‘barbed wire cage’ stipulation intelligently, they both bled far more than they really should have and the finish thematically fit with the rest of Bradshaw’s reign whilst giving Big Show some protection. This was a dead main event, very obviously killing time until John Cena gets his title shot, and under sh*tty circumstances both men worked hard to make sure it wasn’t horrible.
The Cabinet reappear to prevent Big Show assaulting Bradshaw…and here comes Batista. Layfield flees as Batista destroys the Bashams, only to find John Cena waiting for him in the aisle! SPINEBUSTER OFF THE STAGE! He and Batista, the final two in the Royal Rumble, stare-off across the arena in an apparent tease of a JBL/Cena/Batista WrestleMania Triple Threat.
Tape Rating - ** - Although nothing was quite as good as the Elimination Chamber, as an entire ppv package this show wasn’t anything like as bad as New Year’s Revolution. Sure the main event was pointless, the diva contest skits were juvenile and there were some REALLY bad matches featuring Heidenreich and Luther Reigns in the midcard…but there was enough decent material to ensure this wasn’t a complete bust. Angle/Cena was superb and the second best ppv match of 2005 thus far (behind the aforementioned Elimination Chamber) – therefore definitely something WWE Network viewers should check out. The Tag Title opener was very decent and sets the initial stage for the Rey/Eddie feud which raged through the first half of ’05. I loved Paul London’s solo performance in the Cruiserweight Title gauntlet, and for all his critics, JBL did a hell of a job selling the importance of his title defence. It isn’t a long pay-per-view (barely two hours thirty minutes) and it really flies by.
Top 3 Matches
3) John Bradshaw Layfield vs Big Show (**)
2) Basham Brothers vs Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio (***)
1) John Cena vs Kurt Angle (****)