World Wrestling Entertainment – Unforgiven 2003 – 21st September 2003
After spending two months questioning whether the individual Raw and Smackdown brands had enough strength in depth to produce their own brand-exclusive ppv events, egg was well and truly all over my face at Summerslam 2003 when they got back together and delivered a show which was every bit as underwhelming as Bad Blood, and definitely not as consistent as Vengeance. We focus on the Raw brand again for this show, and looking around I’m having a hard time finding anyone with something nice to say about it – despite the fact that, on paper, the card isn’t bad. Sure we have to sit through another Test/Steiner match, the Raw announcers match sounds abysmal and the HHH/Goldberg World Title main event probably won’t set pulses racing. But with Michaels/Orton, Christian/Jericho/RVD, Kane/Shane in a Last Man Standing Match and Lita’s return to ppv all scheduled I find it hard to believe this is a total bust. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in Hershey, PA
SIDENOTE – I started university right around this time, and didn’t see this show. We’ve now reached the point in my Retro WWE Reviews where I’ve not seen the vast majority of the ppv events before. After Summerslam 2003, the next ppv event I can remember watching is No Way Out 2004 – so the next five pay-per-views are all new viewing for me.
SIDENOTE – The pre-show video, featuring HHH ripping apart Goldberg as a fake, a joke and a disgrace to the industry is ELECTRIFYING. Fantastic promo…
La Resistance vs Dudley Boyz – World Tag Title Handicap Table Match
Originally this was scheduled to be a 6-man, but La Resistance were so green they nearly murdered Spike in a botched table spot on TV and he’s now out injured. The titles are on the line, and a winning team is crowned only when all of the opposing team has been put through tables. The stipulations mean that, as well as the obvious 3-on-2 disadvantage they are fighting against, the Dudleyz can only win by putting all of Grenier, Dupree and Conway through tables. Last month at Summerslam La Res found a way to sneak past Bubba and D-Von. Will they escape with their belts once again?
Dupree pretty much botches walking up the steps, which is a rather ominous start. They also start working standard tag rules, which is a pet peeve of mine in Table Matches. La Res drag D-Von back into their corner for an early advantage…but can’t even do that right and soon enough the metaphorical tables are turned with Conway getting his ass kicked by the Dudz. Eventually the rookies do manage to get their sh*t together and start isolating Bubba Ray. The action inside the ring is rather boring, but thankfully JR and King make things interesting with their hopeless attempts to make this ppv seem remotely important. 3-D II on Conway gets 2, followed by the Wassup Headbutt on Dupree. Once again the numbers advantage for the champs comes into play though…and together Rene and Sylvain whip D-Von through a table, meaning only Bubba stands between them and victory. Unfortunately for them he grabs Grenier and suplexes him through another table right afterwards. Bubba Bomb nailed on Dupree…before the Dudleyz scoop Conway up for a BONSOIR SPINEBUSTER THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR! That looked almost as bad as Spike’s bump on Raw. 3-D through another table for Dupree…and the Dudleyz win the tag belts once again at 10:17
Rating - ** - As far as Table Matches go this was rather insipid and forgettable. Having said that, just like at Summerslam, the live audience seemed really into things so there really wasn’t a lot of motivation for them to push the boat out and try anything too audacious. The last couple of minutes, with the Dudleyz destroying La Res, had some car crash charm to it. However, I don’t get why the Dudleyz needed to crush a group of relatively talented youngsters and go over for another title run. It accomplishes very little.
Test vs Scott Steiner
Much like at Bad Blood, the winner ‘gets’ Stacy. Steiner defeated Test for Stacy’s managerial services at Bad Blood, so I’m not sure how Test still appears to have ‘ownership’ of her…but the point is Stacy wants her freedom so wants Steiner to win. If Test wins he also gets Steiner too, so enforced slavery is very much the order of the day in this one.
JR runs through all the titles Test has won without ever getting over during his WWE career. He wisely jumps Steiner as he pervs on Stacy’s butt cheeks to get the fight started. Stacy gives him a slap in the face…and Scott is such a bonehead he gets distracted by that too, so Test chucks him into the steps. Full nelson slam gets 2 for the big Canadian. Steiner hits an overhead suplex to get some respite, but is gassed after working for three whole minutes so takes an eternity to get back to his feet. Test pokes him in the eyes…but apparently Steiner has superhero eyes since he no sells that to hit the ugliest tiger driver pro-wrestling has ever seen. Inverted DDT gets 2 after an assist from Keibler on the outside. Pumphandle Slam nailed, before Stacy appears on the apron again to stop Test hitting the Big Boot. In an attempt to flee Test, Stacy runs straight into the rock hard, not at all weird, body of Steiner and gets wiped out. Big Boot on Steiner for 2. Test swings a chair at Scott…only for Stacy to grab it and accidentally waffle Steiner with it anyway. Test wins at 06:56
Rating - DUD - In all fairness, this was better than Bad Blood, but I still couldn’t find enough redeemable quality in it to find a star in my rating. When Stacy Keibler looks like a better wrestler than either of the guys in the match you’ve got real issues. Steiner was a mess and had absolutely no business in a WWE ring at this point. The fans knew it by now, and his inability to hit any moves cleanly was fast becoming an ongoing joke. Test, very much carryable with the right opponent, was hopelessly out of his depth trying to carry the big mess he was in the ring with. The only reason this angle had gone on for as long as it had was through Stacy’s popularity, and this god awful finish ensured the feud wasn’t finished yet…
Test celebrates his win by forcing Stacy to make out with him. That’s not at all tasteless…particularly after the Linda McMahon rape angle from last month.
Randy Orton vs Shawn Michaels
This was around the time Randy started establishing his ‘Legend Killer’ persona. WWE saw serious potential in him, and pushed him hard as a champion in waiting as part of the Evolution group. He’d comically taken out Fabulous Moolah with an RKO, debuted the ‘Punt’ to KO Mick Foley in a Madison Square Garden stairwell, and vowed to end Shawn Michaels’ career as his next act of Legend Killing. Michaels, already annoyed that Orton cost him his match with Flair at Bad Blood, was up for the challenge. He pointed out he’d made millions of dollars beating ‘stiffs’ like Randy who thought they could hang with him in the ring and refused to be the guy Orton stepped on to get to the top.
Orton tries a basic lock-up with the veteran…and in an instant Shawn drops him to the mat and takes him to school. That’s how the opening minutes progress, with Michaels easily swatting aside the simplistic advances of his naïve opponent. In the end it’s an old HBK trick that gives Randy a way into the match – as he skins the cat back into the ring and socks Michaels with his big dropkick. He then goes right back to making errors as he attempts a dive off the top rope and propels himself straight into an atomic drop. SUICIDE DIVE TO THE FLOOR BY MICHAELS! Back inside Shawn gets a nearfall with a German suplex as Orton continues to struggle for any kind of foothold in the match. Even in a straight-up slug-out Randy can’t get the better of Shawn. Finally he takes his last remaining option by diving out of Michaels way…and lucks out as Shawn throws himself shoulder-first into the ringpost. Ric Flair, managing Orton from ringside, capitalises and delivers a few more cheap shots to his shoulder whilst Randy distracts referee Hebner. With Flair roaring his approval, Orton goes to work on Shawn’s arm. Armbars, hammerlocks, divorce courts and more all crank on the arm of the celebrated future Hall Of Famer. Such is HBK’s desperation now that his offence is limited to wild punches as his bad arm hangs limp by his side. He even dives off the apron with a body press, still swinging punches in Orton’s direction. Double axehandle smash off the top rope nailed, but of course it hurts the bad arm causing him to delay the ensuing pinfall. Orton responds by whipping him HARD into the turnbuckles before they both slump to the canvas next to each other. Sweet Chin Music COUNTERED TO THE RKO! FOR 2! Orton is devastated, and takes another risk to miss a frog crossbody! FLYING ELBOW BY SHAWN! But it hurts his bad arm again…and both men are down! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! It’s over! Michaels wins, but the ref didn’t see Flair but Randy’s boot on the bottom rope! Apparently the match restarts…and after Shawn dismisses Flair with a Superkick Orton smacks him in the head with brass knucks. It’s a tainted victory for the Legend Killer at 18:45
Rating - **** - The finish wasn’t the best, but this remains a tremendously important match in the career of Randy Orton. It wasn’t the ‘breakout match’ that had people lining him up as a future World Champion (that would come against Mick Foley the following year at Backlash), but it was the match that proved he had potential. It proved he could be carried to great matches by the right opponents, and it proved that WWE fans would buy him as a legitimate threat to established stars like Michaels. Much of the credit for the quality of this one does have to go to Shawn. Randy (and Ric Flair) played their parts, but it was a virtuoso performance from the great HBK that made this one memorable. He judged the tone of the match perfectly – from dominating the naïve youngster early, through to a fantastic sell-job on the shoulder which had people genuinely believing Randy could beat him clean. This was among the best matches the Raw brand has produced all year.
La Resistance are in the treatment room after a rough night. Chris Jericho enters the room and blames their plight on Co-General Manager Steve Austin. He says Stone Cold is drunk on power and plans to do something about it…
Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus/Lita
This is Gail’s first ppv appearance, though she’d been on WWE TV all summer after winning the Women’s Title on her debut in June. After looking pretty green and sloppy, she wound up dropping the title to Molly the following month, and since then has formed a weird alliance with her to victimise Trish Stratus. Lita made her long-awaited return from a serious neck injury to assist her friend Trish – leading to this tag team encounter tonight.
Lita is so pumped for her comeback she sings along to her own entrance theme…and doesn’t see Molly Holly waiting to punch her in the face. Poetry In Motion by Trish and Lita takes both the heels out though. Molly then wants no part of Lita, and orders Kim in to face her. Holly isn’t particularly keen to face Trish either, and backs off as she whacks Gail with a Chick Kick for 2. Finally the heels try isolating Stratus and take turns working her back with dragon sleepers. Shiranui from Trish to Kim, only for Molly to knock Lita off the apron to prevent the tag – busting her mouth open in the process. Headlock/headscissors takedown by Stratus who is getting increasingly desperate as Gail and Molly tear lumps out of her back. The hot tag finally comes…and quickly Lita mows down Gail with what appears to be a Busaiku knee. Lita Bomb nailed…only for Molly to whack her in the neck. Headstand frankensteiner by Trish to save! Lita then hits an inverted Twist Of Fate into a frighteningly bad Moonsault for the win at 06:46!
Rating - ** - All four of these ladies are pretty competent in the ring, so this was a decent formula tag. Gail and Molly made good foils for the babyface team, and their work on Trish’s back was outstanding. Lita looked psyched to be back, but a combination of rust, over-excitement and her usual inability to hit moves cleanly meant she was REALLY sloppy at times. She nearly needed another surgery after that moonsault. The Divas division was in pretty good health at this point (Jazz and Victoria were still around too) so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that this was solid.
Kane vs Shane McMahon – Last Man Standing Match
Last month at Summerslam Shane got some payback on one guy who’d made his mother’s life a living hell – that being Eric Bischoff. Unfortunately the other guy was a much tougher proposition. Kane gave Linda McMahon a Tombstone Piledriver on the Raw stage as part of the rampage he went on after Steve Austin and RVD had convinced him to take his mask off. Shane vowed revenge for his mother and got himself into a rapidly escalating war with the Big Red Machine. He managed to superkick Kane into a burning dumpster, and he’s put him through tables – but nothing has been able to keep him down. Kane just keeps coming, and demonstrated just how dangerous and psychotic he is when he tortured Shane in front of a live audience by attaching jumper cables to his testicles. Is there anything McMahon can do tonight to keep Kane down for a ten count?
Shane attacks Kane from behind during his entrance, repeatedly blasting him in the head with a steel chair. He then stands coiled and ready, so when the Monster does his usual ‘sit up’ spot he is waiting to whack him with the chair again. Next he starts hammering the knees and legs with the chair making it even more difficult for him to get up. He tries a springboard lariat off the guardrails next…but finds it countered into a powerslam on the floor. In one move Kane erases three minutes of non-stop McMahon offence. He follows it up by cracking Shane around the head with the ring steps and smiles ominously when he drags himself up off the ground before the ten. Chokeslam nailed next…and again Shane-O hauls his battered body off the ground. Referee Charles Robinson gets caught in the crossfire, before the Machine drags the steps into the ring. Tombstone countered with a bulldog on the steps by McMahon! He then starts assaulting the legs with the steps, continuing the work on them he started earlier with the chair. VAN TERMINATOR ON THE STEPS NAILED! There’s no ref to count Kane down, which is probably just as well because Shane is struggling to get up too. In the end Kane is the first to his feet, and he violently flings his opponent over the top rope. Both men battle up the aisle flailing away at each other, Kane breathing and roaring like a wild animal as he repeatedly tosses the hapless McMahon into the giant metal ‘Unforgiven’ sign. The Spanish announce table is set up on the stage nearby…and the furious Kane TIPS IT off onto the Shane as he lies on the concrete below. But McMahon moved! He pops out from under the stage and starts whacking Kane with a steel sign, and violently swings the boon camera into him with such force that the camera breaks. Electric cables around his throat choke Kane down…so he can DDT him into the stage! As the Big Red Machine crawls away McMahon continually belts him in the head with a TV monitor, knocking him senseless so Shane can start CLIMBING THE SET! The crowd and the announcers know what to expect from him now. FLYING ELBOW OFF THE SET MISSES! SHANE GOES THROUGH THE STAGE! Obviously he’s not moving after that and Kane is crowned the winner at 19:52
Rating - *** - It’s hard to criticise Shane after taking a bump like that. Yes he’s fallen from higher, yes steps are obviously taken to protect him, and yes he’s done the spot multiple times before. But he is taking his life into his own hands, and it’s an incredible spectacle of bravery which still needs to be acknowledged. The match wasn’t bad either. Shane got to look courageous as he refused to stay down, whilst Kane got to look like an unstoppable beast for most of it. My only real criticism is that we’re in the midst of a big push for Kane. He is supposed to look like a monster. I really hated the finish in that respect. Kane didn’t BEAT Shane. He benefited from McMahon making a stupid mistake. I’m not sure that’s helpful. Not a lot of what they did here was overly original or innovative, but it told a strong story and featured a couple of wild high spots…so it’s still a pretty enjoyable affair.
Chris Jericho confronts Steve Austin, and blames him for the monster that Kane has become – and implies that he is wildly unsuitable for the Raw GM job. He vows to make Stone Cold’s life as difficult as possible whilst he is in power…
Christian vs Chris Jericho vs Rob Van Dam – WWE Intercontinental Title Match
At Summerslam the IC Champion, Christian, complained about not being booked. Tonight he does make the pay-per-view, but apparently wishes he hadn’t as he is unhappy about having to defend his title against two tough competitors like Jericho and Van Dam. Y2J and RVD met the week previously in a Raw #1 contendership bout which was ended prematurely when Christian assaulted both of them, leading to General Manager Stone Cold booking a triple threat. JR informs us that on Heat earlier Jericho and Christian (former tag team partners) agreed to put their differences aside to remove Van Dam from the equation before fighting it out amongst themselves.
Christian is so orange Kel Kimble is practically at ringside waiting to drink him. The alliance he formed with Jericho instantly comes into play as they come together to target RVD. Somehow Rob suplexes Y2J off the apron…then hops to the turnbuckles for a BERMUDA TRIANGLE MOONSAULT to the floor! After some visible potato shots to Christian he then ducks a flying forearm from Jericho, straight into a standing moonsault for 2. The numbers eventually prove to much for Mr PPV to overcome though, leading to him spending several minutes getting punished by his former Tag Champion opponents. It’s not the most exciting of heat segments and it’s not helped by several obvious and visible moments of sloppiness from RVD. Every time he attempts a comeback he is shut down by one of the duo, including eating Y2J’s springboard dropkick to the apron just moments after wiping the champ out with a somersault plancha himself. Walls Of Jericho applied to do yet more damage, and since Christian was temporarily incapacitated Van Dam has to hang on quite a while for a save. When Christian eventually does make the save his alliance with Y2J entirely dissolves. The two Canadians instantly spill to the outside, with the champion getting aggressively whipped legs-first into the steps. He recovers the reverse DDT for 2, only to be crotched on the top rope by Jericho who knocked RVD off the apron simultaneously. Lionsault aimed at Rob misses, allowing him to score with a handspring moonsault…before Christian breaks the fall with a diving elbow drop from the top rope! FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH on both opponents! But Van Dam has taken such punishment he can’t pin either one of them afterwards. DOUBLE POWERBOMB BY CHRISTIAN! Van Dam was trying to electric chair Jericho out of the corner, meaning the champ just powerbombed the pair of them! He tries to hit RVD with the title belt but misses and gets propelled into Jericho. Christian then lifts the belt into Van Dam’s stomach as he attempts another Five Star…and the champ retains rather shadily at 19:02
Rating - ** - I appreciate the sentiment behind giving these guys nearly twenty minutes together, but this didn’t click at all and was, at times, extremely ugly. RVD tried hard and brought plenty of energy and high spots to the table, but was so wayward and sloppy at times I’m quite sure both his opponents were covered in cuts and bumps. Jericho, likewise, tried damn hard to be the lead heel and get the crowd involved. Sadly they just weren’t interested. Whether they were still recovering from the Shane McMahon Titantron bump, or just bored senseless by the lifeless and predictable triple threat they were watching – the complete silence emanating from the audience only served to make the match even more awkward. Things picked up in the final few minutes, but for the vast majority this was pretty uncomfortable to sit through. You’re entitled to expect more from three talented individuals like this.
Mark Lloyd asks Triple H whether he has what it takes to beat Goldberg. Hunter calls Goldberg’s hype a ‘fairytale’ and vows to end his career tonight.
Jonathan Coachman/Al Snow vs Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler
The winning team will be Raw’s permanent broadcast duo going forward. Coach filled in for JR earlier in the year, and felt put out when he was sent packing back to Heat when Ross returned. He helped Eric Bischoff fight Shane McMahon at Summerslam, earning favour with the Co-GM, who in return booked this match. Al Snow turned on Jerry Lawler to side with his fellow Sunday Night Heat commentator, and together they are looking to make the step up to Monday nights.
There are no commentators obviously, so this butt ugly spectacle is made even worse by the total silence we have to watch it in. Coach and JR want to start for their respective teams, but are quite sensibly ushered out by their professionally trained colour analysts. Lawler and Snow run through some basics, boring the tits out of the live crowd who very obviously don’t give a sh*t. Boring chants can be heard as we sit through several interminable minutes of Jerry and Al trading clotheslines, headlocks and back drops like they are working drills at one of Al’s Tough Enough classes. Eventually Lawler hits the Piledriver for 2…and as Snow recovers Coachman decides he fancies a crack at the King. Bronco Buster misses though, allowing Jerry to capitalise with the fist drop. Someone end this garbage already. JR kicks Al in the balls then makes a beeline for Coach finally rousing the Hershey crowd from the deep coma this match put them in. Jim’s probably a better wrestler than Scott Steiner ironically. Behind the ref’s back Chris Jericho runs in and dropkicks JR (to get back at Steve Austin), handing Coach the win at 08:15.
Rating - DUD - Even the Redneck Triathlon at Bad Blood was preferable to this. In fact, I’d rather have seen a Redneck Heptathlon than watch this again. I understand this has been a pretty heavy, serious show and something to lighten the mood was needed before the main event. But this was terribly stupid and whoever booked this is an idiot. I have no idea what the upside is? JR and Lawler didn’t need to become more over as babyfaces – people already liked them as Raw’s announcers. If the long-game is for Coach to eventually replace Jim Ross at some point in the future, why the f*ck is he being positioned as the most annoying guy on television? Nobody wants to see that! And who made the call to give these four almost ten minutes!? How did this joke get more time than the Divas? This was a mess even when Snow and Lawler (the actual wrestlers) were in the ring. If your DVD has a skip function I suggest you use it.
Jericho proudly tells Mark Lloyd that he cost JR his job just to piss Stone Cold off.
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler return to the booth looking forlorn. They act like this will be the last match they ever call in their careers…
Triple H vs Goldberg – World Heavyweight Title Match
The stakes are high for this one. If Bill loses then he is forced to retire, Evolution are banned from ringside and if Hunter is counted out or disqualified then the belt will change hands. Up until Summerslam nobody had been able to stop the path of destruction Goldberg had torn through the Raw brand. That night he charged through the entire field in the Elimination Chamber and it was only the combined efforts of three members of Evolution (HHH, Orton and Flair) and a sledgehammer which prevented him from taking the Big Gold Belt from The Game. After several bloody Evolution beatdowns, Goldberg has had enough and is putting it all on the line tonight – against a man who thinks he is nothing more than the beneficiary of WCW’s hype machine and an over-rated ‘myth’.
Helmsley is still working in long trunks thanks to his suspect quad and groin. He’s also as inflated as I’ve ever seen him here. His face and upper body look like they’ve been blown up like balloons. Goldberg’s raw power immediately comes to the fore as he easily lifts the champion over his head for a huge press slam. HHH shows his strategic mind by leaving the ring for a cooling off period, then returning looking to work over Bill’s arm. Everything he tries is swatted aside by the rampant challenger though, so once again Hunter retreats to the floor. Butterfly suplex nailed by Goldberg…who thinks it’s Spear time already. JUMPING KNEE counters the Spear! For the first time he has Bill on the back foot and he takes full advantage by drilling his big skull into the ringpost. The head becomes the focal point of Triple H’s attack and soon Goldberg is soon visibly slowed. His strikes aren’t delivered with the force they once were, and as he collapses to the ground again Helmsley starts wrapping his knees around the post. Figure 4 Leglock blocked, but with Goldy knocked loopy and struggling to stand he can’t get any distance. HHH simply chopblocks him to the mat then goes right back to the Figure 4. As soon as Bill counters the hold Hunter releases it – and starts rattling his brains again with elbow drops and knee drops. A powerslam from nowhere gets 2 for Goldberg, who now looks to be struggling with multiple injuries. Regardless, he is still able to cut Helmsley’s head open on the steel steps…forcing the Game to take extreme measures. He low blows the challenger before planting him on the bad head again with a DDT. Earl Hebner got bumped in there so doesn’t see HHH pull the sledgehammer out from under the ring and crunch Bill across the jaw with it. NO SOLD! Yes, a f*cking SLEDGEHAMMER just got no sold. SPEAR NAILED! Jackhammer scores next, and we crown a new World Champion at 14:56
Rating - ** - On paper the lay out made a lot of sense. If you sat down and tried to write a logical, believable story for these two to tell in a match together you’d probably come up with something like this. And therein lies the problem. This was SO clinical, functional and sterile that there was almost no emotion whatsoever. In truth the boat sailed on Goldberg as a viable draw in the WWE the second they screwed his debut by having The Rock treat him like a big joke. The WWE audience simply doesn’t ‘believe the hype’, and once again here he failed to deliver an in-ring performance of anywhere near enough quality to ignite the fans. Considering you had the technically limited, WWE-neutered version of Goldberg in the ring with an overweight, artificially inflated and nowhere near 100% fit HHH this was probably as good as it gets. As I’ve said previously – the time to put the belt on Goldberg was at Summerslam. This was a case of too little, far too late.
Tape Rating - ** - Another mediocre ppv from the WWE in 2003. Most of the show is passable, and a couple of matches are actually pretty good. But considering the asking price of these monthly extravaganzas a stagnant, lazy and almost entirely skippable show like this simply isn’t acceptable. And once again there are SO many creative issues to object to. Did the Dudleyz really need to go over La Resistance and become Tag Champions for the millionth time? Why the hell is the Test/Steiner feud STILL going? Who decided the hideous Raw announcers match got more time than the Divas tag? Who thought letting JR and Coach get in the ring on PAY-PER-VIEW was going to be anything other than a total wreck. If you do happen to check this one out on the Network then you’ll see another courageous performance from Shane McMahon, and a major milestone match in the career of Randy Orton. It’s probably not enough to redeem the show though…
Top 3 Matches
3) Triple H vs Goldberg (**)
2) Kane vs Shane McMahon (***)
1) Randy Orton vs Shawn Michaels (****)