World Wrestling Entertainment – Vengeance 2003 – 27th July 2003
Raw kicked off the brand-exclusive pay-per-views with the mediocre (but much better than you might have predicted) Bad Blood event in June. Now it is Smackdown’s turn to get their own extravaganza. Since the blue brand had better workers in more prominent positions you’d back it to be better than Raw’s ppv from an in-ring standpoint – but with things like a ‘Bar Room Brawl’, Stephanie McMahon working Sable and Vince wrestling Zach Gowen you’ll probablyhave every bit as much filler and crap to sit through. Haas and Benjamin (now under the WGTT moniker) defend the WWE Tag Titles against former WCW tag partners Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman. Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero meet in the finals of a tournament to crown a new United States Champion. Undertaker throws John Cena a bone in the up and coming Doctor Of Thugonomics’ highest profile match to date. Our main event sees Brock Lesnar defend the WWE Championship against two of his biggest rivals in Big Show and the returning Kurt Angle. Michael Cole and Tazz are in Denver, CO.
Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit – WWE United States Title Tournament Final
Since Raw had exclusivity on the Intercontinental Title, Smackdown decided they needed to introduce their own secondary championship. These two great friends and rivals meet in the finals to crown the first US Champion since Edge unified the belt at Survivor Series 2001.
Eddie’s gimmick is complete by this point, with a ‘Cheat 2 Win’ shirt and a low rider entrance. Apparently he nearly blinded Benoit on a recent Smackdown so spends the early moments of the match cowering in the ropes to avoid the angry Crippler. Next they aggressively chain wrestle, trading knock downs and each drawing plenty of cheers. Eddie consistently targets the left arm with limited success – and we go back to stalemate as they trade armdrags and pinning combinations at a relentless pace. Benoit finally establishes himself in the match with a shoulderbreaker and has Guerrero desperately crawling to the ropes as he attempts a Crossface. TOPE SUICIDA by the Wolverine! He has Latino Heat on the run now, working over the shoulder with significantly more aggression than his opponent had showed earlier. Frankensteiner by Eddie for 2. He seems to be setting up the Wolverine’s ribs, driving him down with a BACK DROP DRIVER for another nearfall. To make things worse he also puts his fingers in the eyes of Benoit that he damaged on Smackdown. Chris delivers a mammoth back superplex to leave them both on the deck at thirteen minutes. The Canadian is the first man up, to wrap his arms around Guerrero’s waist for the rolling Germans! CROSSFACE! People actually buy that as a nearfall and are audibly surprised when Eddie makes the ropes on that. He counters rolling backbreakers into the Three Amigos – including a superplex to complete the trilogy. Back to the top he goes – FROG SPLASH MISSES! Benoit absolutely drills him into the canvas with a powerbomb for 2, but still can’t complete a victory with the Crippler Crossface. Referee Mike Chioda is knocked over in the melee – and Eddie takes advantage by grabbing the title belt and hammering Benoit with it. Frog Splash nailed second time…FOR 2! Eddie picks the belt up again – this time to whack Chioda across the back with it! He then places the belt incriminatingly across Benoit’s chest and plays dead on the canvas. Sadly Chioda is so dead it’s all for nothing. CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! EDDIE TAPS! But the ref is still out of it! FLYING WOLVERINE…only Eddie pulls poor Mike into the path of it! Rhyno runs in and inexplicably GORES Benoit (they were supposed to be friends)…and Eddie picks up the win with another Frog Splash at 22:11
Rating - *** - I liked the match, but if you told me I was going to get to watch Benoit and Guerrero work for 20+ minutes I’d expect something far better than this. Whilst they were intense and fun to watch, the opening exchanges and the limbwork contained within them went absolutely nowhere so amounted to little more than time wasting. And the last five minutes were so overbooked it became a bit of a joke. Eddie’s ‘well that was stupid’ face after Rhyno’s run-in was simply priceless. There was plenty of high quality stuff, as you’d expect with these guys, but there was as much I didn’t like about this match as stuff I enjoyed.
Stephanie acts like a sulky teenager with daddy issues in a skit with Vince. Her sentiments aren’t without logic, but after seeing her play a competent, confident and ruthless business-woman as Smackdown GM for months – it comes off as rather jarring. Mr McMahon has bought her some flowers, and tells her he is going to Raw on Monday to confront Kane over his attack on Linda.
Billy Gunn vs Jamie Noble – Indecent Proposal Match
Despite still being with Nidia, Jamie developed a crush on Torrie Wilson, and started offering her money to sleep with him. Billy Gunn (back in the ‘Mr Ass’ gimmick and back playing a gay BFF for one of the divas) defended Torrie’s honour – and dished out such a convincing beating to Noble on Smackdown that Torrie laid out the challenge for this one. If Jamie can beat Mr Ass tonight, he gets to sleep with her on Smackdown next week. Poor Torrie Wilson was in some AWFUL angles wasn’t she?
Jamie carries what appears to be a ‘Torrie In The Bank’ suitcase, supposedly full of sex oils and ‘stuff’ to use on her next week. Billy quickly boots him in the face with it – then opens the case to reveal oil, a couple of dildo’s, a ball gag and condoms…proving that sometimes the PG era isn’t the worst thing in the world. Gunn (who’s hair is receding far too quickly for him to be growing it back) gets knocked out of the ring after some appallingly sloppy exchanges which even the home video release editing can’t cover. Jamie works over the knee as Nidia makes her way down the aisle to watch. One & Only nailed by Billy, who’s knee is now so worn down he can’t capitalise. HIPTOSS BRAINBUSTER gets 2 for Mr Ass! Limping Fame Asser misses…so Billy goes seamlessly into a Diamond Cutter for another nearfall. Noble retaliates with an avalanche DDT, only for Nidia to put Billy’s foot on the ropes. She clearly isn’t happy with her boyfriend, and both women take turns slapping Noble. The redneck returns to the ring and pins Billy using the trunks at 05:00
Rating - * - Probably as bad as the angle that preceded it. In an effort to focus on the positives I’ll say that Noble’s work on the knee was half decent, and his crazy bumping made Billy’s offence look amazing. Most of this was still rather bad though.
‘I don’t think she has any choice – she WILL go through with it on Thursday night’ – Cole. Not to read too much into wrestling stipulations, but this really sounds like advocating rape doesn’t it?
Funaki interviews the APA (reunited on Smackdown because nobody gave a sh*t about their singles careers) ahead of their Bar Room Invitational. They appear to be feuding with the Brooklyn Brawler, they are unhappy with the Easter Bunny...and invite Funaki into the match too.
APA Invitational Bar Room Brawl
Most of the entrants into this waste of ppv time are so insignificant they don’t even get entrances. They are Chris Kanyon, Orlando Jordan, the Basham Brothers, all three FBI members (Nunzio, Stamboli and Palumbo), Spanky, Tough Enough 3 winners John Hennigan (Morrison) and Matt Cappotelli, the Easter Bunny, Funaki, Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore, Sean O’Haire, Brooklyn Brawler, Brother Love, Doink The Clown, a new version of Los Conquistadors (which Wikipedia informs me are played by Johnny Jeter and Rob Conway) – along with the Acolytes themselves.
Apparently it’s last person drinking for the win. Spanky dancing on the bar is about as entertaining as it gets. Brother Love gets way too much promo time before clocking both Conquistadors with a barstool. The Bashams toss Spanky off the bar through a table. Funaki simply sits at the bar drinking and reading his invite which is pretty funny. Most of the jobbers start ripping up the cheap ass set to fight each other whilst contemplating what has become of their careers. O’Haire goes all Steve Blackman with pool cues…before Shannon hits a CORKSCREW MOONSAULT OFF THE STAGE! His reward for taking that bump is having to sell for Brother Love. Bradshaw puts Easter Bunny through a window, as Matt jumps off the bar – making a meal of putting Kanyon and one of the Bashams through a table. Funaki is so drunk he has passed out…so apparently we’re down to the APA and Brother Love. Bradshaw smashes a bottle over his head…and is crowned the winner even though Faarooq is still standing right next to him. 04:29 is your time…
Rating - ** - I wanted to hate every last second of this because it was so utterly pointless. However, it was redeemed slightly by some genuine moments of comedy and that Shannon Moore stage dive. Of course it doesn’t excuse retarded booking – like making Brother Love the big villain, or having Bradshaw win whilst Faarooq simply stands next to him. It’s also sad to see careers with genuine potential reduced to making idiots of themselves in a lame and often unintentionally dreadful encounter. It had a certain chaotic quality to it though
Backstage Jamie Noble is sniffing a copy of Torrie Wilson’s Playboy – which has intentionally been made to look dog-eared and like it’s been hidden underneath the bed of a horny teenager. Which makes sniffing it even more bizarre…
World’s Greatest Tag Team vs Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman – WWE Tag Title Match
After losing the Tag Titles to Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri at Judgment Day, Haas and Benjamin subsequently shed the ‘Team Angle’ name and became formally introduced as the ‘World’s Greatest Tag Team’. Having regained the belts, they now face the challenge of the thrown together team of Mysterio and Kidman. They should be cautious though. The two cruiserweights are very familiar with each other, and were a successful team during WCW so aren’t quite the inexperienced duo many have them pegged as.
Mysterio starts with Benjamin and looks to use his quickness to negate the obvious mat-wrestling prowess of his adversary. Shelton has better luck with Kidman, then brings in Haas who absolutely pummels Billy into the ropes. Billy responds by hanging Charlie in the ropes for a SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP from Rey! FULL NELSON SLAM from Haas to counter a headscissors attempt by the luchador. They look to isolate Mysterio…who rolls through a powerbomb into a hurricanrana…only for Shelton to roll through that…ONLY FOR REY TO COUNTER WITH A DROPKICK! BK Bomb gets a 2 for Kidman…as Mysterio counters the Broken Arrow. 619 blocked too! SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENTON TO THE FLOOR BY REY! SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE FLOOR BY KIDMAN! Benjamin avoided the worst of that and reacts by drilling Billy back-first into the ringpost. The champs start working on BK’s spine, and showcase their growing experience as a team by utilising the classic ‘stop the ref seeing the babyface tag’ routine. Kidman lands an X-Factor to counter another powerbomb attempt though and finally does get the hot tag. SPRINGBOARD SOMERSAULT DROPKICK by Rey! He follows it with a wheelbarrow DDT for 2. 619 on Charlie! Springboard seated senton nailed…but the ref is distracted and can’t count the pin. All four are in the ring now. LEAPFROG SUPER RANA BY REY AND KIDMAN…FOR 2! The Denver crowd are furious that wasn’t the finish! Benjamin comes to his partner’s aid with the Dragon Whip on Kidman. DOOMSDAY PAYDIRT BY WGTT! They retain at 14:53
Rating - **** - This was obscenely good. Mysterio and Kidman broke out some wild cruiserweight dives and flips, and across the ring from them WGTT were at their very best as the wrestling machine tag team. Together all four combined to produce an absolute showstealer – which was probably so good they all got torn apart by fuddy duddy agents, Bradshaw and Undertaker for ‘doing too much’ as soon as they returned to the locker room. Despite showing immense chemistry as a team, and not doing much else with either of them, the Mysterio/Kidman team was dropped soon after this. WGTT would be split up within a year as well – which probably shows how unimportant tag team wrestling was to the WWE (Heyman aside).
Stephanie McMahon vs Sable
I have no idea why these two are feuding. The pre-match video does nothing more than show Stephanie rip Sable’s top-off in another juvenile teen movie inspired sketch on Smackdown. Vince booked this apparently, and brought flowers for Sable earlier in the show. Presumably, therefore, this is an extension of the simmering and growing tension between Stephanie and her father.
In the surprise of the night, Sable actually covers up large portions of her ageing body with her choice of ring attire. In this battle of unlikely former Women’s Champions Stephanie is the aggressor and Sable desperately tries to escape her clutches. Mrs Lesnar lands a few kicks…then gives the fallen Mrs Helmsley a lapdance. Steph seems legit hurt by some of Sable’s slaps, and explodes out of the corner with some seriously ugly offence. The ref stops her from using a chair, so instead she knocks Sable out with a savage elbow to the face. McMahon is working on Sable’s face and does her best to rip her clothing off her again. Sable kicks her in the vag…and A-Train runs in to MAUL Stephanie. Sable is handed an easy victory at 06:24
Rating - ** - Not as good as Stephanie/Trish from 2001, but considering the in-ring limitations of both ladies this was actually pretty heated. It was never going to be pretty, but considering how limited their feud appeared to be I felt both women carried the emotion of the action rather well. Having expected this to be an utter train wreck I was pleasantly surprised.
John Cena vs Undertaker
I don’t remember this feud at all, but the hype video makes it look awesome. Cena proclaimed himself a ‘legend’ on the Smackdown brand – raising the ire of the Undertaker. After some heated verbal exchanges, things became increasingly physical leading to this match. The feud also included a spectacular Cena promo, ripping on Undertaker in a graveyard. Youtube it, as it’s vintage Cena goodness. Tazz hypes this as ‘old school vs new school’, whilst Cena wants to take the torch from the Deadman since he refuses to pass it.
Taker’s bike breaks down on the stage, which he remains remarkably calm throughout and doesn’t break character once. Cena SLAPS him then tries to trade punches with him in the corner…which obviously doesn’t end well. The veteran pounds on Cena’s ribs and kicks his ass all around ringside in a methodical beatdown. After punching and kicking at the ribs and head for several minutes Undertaker gets back in the ring and shows that he’s MMA now with an arm submission. I was about to lament the lack of focus, but it is actually used as set up for the Old School rope walk…and Taker looks set to polish John off after landing the Chokeslam. He pulls Cena’s shoulders up when he has him beaten…only for Cena to escape the Last Ride and pluckily drop him with a DDT. He then pulls a turnbuckle pad down and lures Big Evil into running shoulder-first into it. That’s followed by knocking Taker off the apron into the rails and he really looks to have opened up an injury now. Blood comes from Undertaker’s mouth as a result of ‘internal injuries’ prompting Cena to persistently attack the ribs and stomach. The injury has negated the Deadman’s MMA skills now apparently, since Cena is able to counter a dragon sleeper into a spinebuster for 2. Taker is even selling at this point – unable to flip in the air as he normally does on his explosive mid-ring lariat. Tombstone countered…F-U blocked! Taker wails on John with punches, so behind the ref’s back Cena cracks him in the ribs with the chain he wears round his neck during his entrance. F-U NAILED…for 2! LAST RIDE out of nowhere gets Taker the win at 15:58
Rating - *** - This wasn’t without its faults, but compared to the epic no-sell Undertaker matches against lesser talents in 2000 and 2001 this one went to shocking distances to get Cena over. Of course, in the end it never really felt like he was on Undertaker’s level what with the Chokeslam to ‘I’ll let you survive’ broken pin sequence inside five minutes, kicking out of Cena’s finisher despite 'internal bleeding' and a weapon shot, then beating him with a single move. BUT, the second half of the match, where Taker actually sold well and put John’s offence over was a drastic improvement on his matches with the likes of Kurt Angle in 2000 or Booker T and DDP in 2001. John was getting serious momentum behind him now, crowds were getting really into his act and his popularity was starting to grow. Solid in-ring performances like this at ppv level, allowing ‘the office’ to trust him as an athlete as well as an entertainer, would only enhance his stock further.
Vince McMahon vs Zach Gowen
This angle was a spin-off from the absolute wreckage of the Vince vs Mr America feud when Hogan walked out on the company. I’d forgotten how much of it was in poor taste, with some particularly ugly skits with Vince and Sable making fun of Zach for being handicapped and having cancer. With Mr America gone Vince set about bullying the young Gowen. Zach won a WWE contract with an unlikely victory over Big Show and was immediately booked into this one.
Vince gleefully shows off how much stronger he is than the significantly smaller Gowen and basically bullies him around the ring for several minutes. ASAI MOONSAULT to the floor by Zach! Remember this was before you’d seen all of Zach’s spots a thousand times too, so it was still pretty insane. He follows it with a springboard leg drop for 2. McMahon doesn’t like that and sets about negating the high-flying ability of his opponent by working his remaining leg. Half crab locked in after minutes of relentless punishment on the leg and it has Cole and Tazz begging Zach to call it a day. He tries to kick at Vince’s leg to get some respite, and somehow rolls into his signature one-legged dropkick. Unfortunately his leg is so beaten up it takes him an age to follow up on it. Springboard flying bulldog to eventually follow, then a missile dropkick as Mr McMahon is completely flummoxed by the unorthodox approach of his plucky opponent. Moonsault nailed for 2. Vince tries to go for a chair….only for Zach to dropkick it into his head! Vince is bleeding EVERYWHERE! It’s genuinely spraying all over the canvas as Gowen misses a corkscrew senton. I think Vince realises he’s in trouble, as he basically crawls over Gowen and pins him immediately at 14:02 whilst blood pours out of his head like a tap.
Rating - ** - Gowen’s story is a remarkable one, and at this stage most of us had not seen him work too much before, meaning his in-ring stuff wasn’t quite as stale as it seems now in 2014. However, booking him to go nearly 15-minutes with an ageing, semi-trained part-timer was a mistake. This match had some good themes – like Vince using his power, or Vince working the leg. But everything was so slow and took ages to get anywhere. The last few minutes were spectacular, including the sickening sight of blood fountaining out of the side of Mr McMahon’s head. But if you’ve seen one Gowen match, you’ve seen them all – and he’s had much better matches with better wrestlers elsewhere. Considering how overly produced, scripted and rehearsed this one was (Gowen said in an interview years later than they’d been practicing the match with agents for weeks) you’d expect more from it.
Brock Lesnar vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle – WWE Title Match
This is Kurt’s first ppv appearance since WrestleMania, where he risked permanent paralysis to compete with a serious neck injury before finally leaving to get surgery. Upon his return he immediately announced his intention to regain the WWE Championship – putting him at odds with current champion and great rival Brock Lesnar. Big Show also forced his way into proceedings as he has history with both of them – meaning this main event was booked containing the last three men to hold the WWE Title. Who will survive and walk into Summerslam with the belt?
Tony Chimel announces a random No DQ stipulation tossed into the mix. The two amateur stars make a beeline for Show…who easily dismisses both of them. Angle has to dive into action to save the match after an early Chokeslam on Brock. Final Cut countered to the Anklelock, but Show is so massive that he easily boots Kurt away. Final Cut on Lesnar instead for 2. Angle uses the No DQ stips to wail away on Show with trash can lids…and even hands on to Brock for a CAN LID CON-CHAIR-TO! Still Show refuses to go down though, and he even scoops them both up for a double suplex. Double Chokeslam by Brock and Kurt! F-5 ON ANGLE! F-5 ON BIG SHOW! Kurt breaks the count at the last second to save the match, and is busted open by Brock bashing his head into the ringpost. RUNNING POWERBOMB FROM LESNAR TO BIG SHOW! The champ doesn’t have long to celebrate as Angle marches into the ring and BRAINS him with a wild chair shot. ANGLE SLAM THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE for Show! It puts the monster out of commission for a few minutes, leaving Kurt and Brock in the ring together to recreate their WrestleMania main event. Kurt grabs the ropes to block an F-5 so Lesnar simply heaves him to the floor instead! Amazingly, once he’s battled back into the ring Angle is able to German suplex Lesnar onto his face for 2. Angle Slam countered with a spinebuster, though it’s noticeable Brock is now struggling with his ribs once again. He looks to protect them by rolling Angle into a rear choke with bodyscissors. He looks set to choke Kurt out until Big Show lumbers back into the ring and leg drops the pair of them. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM! ANKLELOCK ON LESNAR! ANGLE SLAM ON SHOW! ANGLE SLAM ON BROCK! Kurt wins the title at 17:29!
Rating - **** - I’m probably over-rating this a touch, but for the second year running Vengeance has produced a surprisingly killer triple threat main event from absolutely nowhere. And against all the odds Big Show more than carried his significant weight here. He took some wild bumps to put both his opponents over, providing some of the highlights of the entire match. Hot shotting the belt from Brock back to Angle seems a little strange, but hindsight has taught us that Lesnar was seriously starting to get disillusioned and struggle with WWE’s non-stop schedule by this point, whilst Kurt was hot having only recently made his return. The plan was another Brock/Kurt match at Summerslam, so this was a pretty solid preparatory match for that.
Tape Rating - *** - This ppv showed us two things. Firstly, it told us what we already knew – that Smackdown has more decent workers in high profile spots, meaning their exclusive pay-per-view did have a stronger in-ring product. Secondly…with a run-time barely making it past two and a half hours, with two McMahon matches, with a sophomoric ‘Indecent Proposal Match’ and with the Bar Room shenanigans, we now know that in truth neither the Raw or the Smackdown brand has enough star power to really carry a top notch ppv event by themselves. Bad Blood wasn’t a complete disaster but there is no denying this was much better. Two matches cracked the 4* barrier (including a remarkably decent and completely forgotten Tag Title showstealer), plenty of solid wrestling from the likes of Benoit/Guerrero and Undertaker/Cena, there is nothing quite as juvenile and pointless as the Redneck Triathlon, and even the worst matches (Vince/Gowen, Stephanie/Sable & Noble/Gunn) have something going for them. Scott Steiner doesn’t fall off the apron like a tit on this show either.
Top 3 Matches
3) Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit (***)
2) Brock Lesnar vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle (****)
1) World’s Greatest Tag Team vs Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman (****)