World Wrestling Entertainment – Bad Blood 2003 – 15th June 2003
In 2003 WWE made the decision to take the brand extension a step further. Not only had they divided their roster into separate crews for the two separate brands – but now they would divide up the pay-per-views too. The initial plan was simply to alternate the smaller ppvs, and promote the ‘big four’ of Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, Summerslam and Survivor Series as the only time the two brands were under one roof, and the long term goal was to have both brands each running monthly ppvs (therefore doubling the potential ppv revenue earning opportunities between the major four). On the surface of it one can see the logic, even if you had severe doubts that either brand would be able to overcome the pretty crippling shortcomings they each had to actually pull it off. Raw gets the honour of going first, doing away with the traditional King Of The Ring event in June. They’ve pulled out the big guns looking to bring the buy rates with a Hell In The Cell main event between rivals Triple H and Kevin Nash (with Mick Foley as guest referee). A real-life feud is settled in the ring as Chris Jericho and Bill Goldberg collide. Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels meet in a huge battle of future Hall of Fame-ers too. Plus, if that isn’t selling you, Scott Steiner will give you one of the single funniest moments in wrestling history. Can Raw deliver the goods, and put a pin in the theory that only the Smackdown team can bring the workrate in the ring? Judging on what they produced at Insurrextion a week earlier one would suggest not, but try to keep an open mind. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in Houston, TX.
SIDENOTE – The set is largely composed of large, artificial ‘drops of blood’ which look more like engorged testicles. Or Christmas decorations if we’re PG tonight…
Dudley Boyz vs Rodney Mack/Christopher Nowinski
This was the show where Nowinski asked D-Von why it was always his ‘white brother’ ordering him to get tables. The Dudleyz have had issues with Teddy Long’s troops for a few weeks, but last week in the UK were thoroughly in the ascendancy when they defeated Long in a match before putting Nowinski through a table with the 3-D.
Mack doesn’t wait for the bell to ring to get things started, and together with his Harvard-educated partner they quickly isolate Bubba Ray. Warrior splash from Bubba to Nowinski…but the heel team react quickly to set about working over D-Von instead. An emphatic Rodney Mack spinebuster is at the core of that beatdown. Once again they are unable to keep Dudley inside the ring though as they struggle to overcome the massive experience edge their opponents enjoy. Bubba removes Nowinski’s protective facemask and shunts his own partner straight into the now-exposed face to escape Mack’s Blackout. D-Von is ordered to get the tables – prompting Teddy Long to appear to once again question the racial hierarchy within the Dudley family. Nowinski capitalises to strike Bubba Ray with his facemask. He pins Bubba at 07:07
Rating - ** - A functional opener rather than an exciting or technically perfect one. Mack and Nowinski had some good ideas, though they don’t strike me as having any chemistry as partners. The idea that the Dudleyz could continually escape heat segments because of the inexperience of their opponents was particularly sound too. The finish was shady, but the Dudleyz were over regardless and a win undeniably boosts the credibility of the heels. Nowinski wound up leaving WWE soon after this thanks to one concussion too many.
REDNECK TRIATHLON – Evidently the WWE were so thrilled with how well the time-wasting, ppv-murdering skybox skits with Austin and Bischoff went at Judgment Day that tonight they’ll do pretty much the same thing, except it’s being called a ‘Redneck Triathlon’ this time. The two GM’s are competing in a series of redneck games and looking to make Mama June proud. Event #1 is a ‘Burping Contest’ in their office – with Terri Runnels as the host. The sound effects are fake as sh*t though and nobody is buying it. Austin wins…
Test vs Scott Steiner
They got a dry run of this match in England last week, and the match was not good. Test and Stacy have split up, but the Canadian angrily enforced his managerial contract with her – preventing her from getting away from him or managing Steiner like she apparently wants to. As such the winner of this match ‘gets’ Stacy. I had assumed it was as a manager – but given that at Insurrextion Stacy was implied that she was f*cking Steiner, maybe they will literally own her very existence with a win here.
Either this DVD has had some serious crowd noise injected into Steiner’s entrance, or he actually gets a pretty major babyface pop for his entrance which hasn’t happened since he debuted in November. The match is SUPPOSED to begin with Steiner jumping off the apron at Test…though what happens is far better, as he slips and splats on the ground like a big, muscled up cow sh*t. Hilariously, the home video production guys have tried to cover it, but the camera angle actually makes it looks loads worse. Test is so surprised by how astoundingly incapable his opponent is that it takes him a while to get going. He does eventually force his way into the match after using Stacy as a distraction then clobbering the feckless Steiner. ‘You suck’ – Houston at whomever in the writing team thought this feud was a good idea. Scott nearly f*cks up an overhead suplex, coming close to flat-out murdering Test who nearly got dropped right on the top of his head. In fact there is plenty of ‘modified’ (i.e. crappy looking) offence from Steiner tonight. Big Boot countered to an inverted DDT, which at the five minute mark is the first thing Steiner has hit clean. Test doesn’t sell it at all and pretty much stands up right away afterwards to hit the Pumphandle Slam. Big Boot gets 2…and Test shoves poor Stacy to the ground as he makes a grab for a steel chair. He accidentally plonks himself in the face with it though, handing Steiner the win via Flatliner at 06:26
Rating - DUD - You need to see this match once simply to see Steiner’s infamous botch, and in fact the whole match has a certain ‘drive slow to get a good look at the car wreck’ charm to it. But it was also a sad indictment of quite how far the once extremely talented Scott Steiner had fallen. The guy was a mess out here for this, giving a performance so abysmally bad it makes his series with HHH look like all-time classics in comparison. Test’s sleazy heel act was surprisingly okay, particularly in his interactions with Stacy. But his in-ring skills had completely stagnated by this point and he was nowhere near capable of carrying the feeble Steiner to anything even remotely decent.
Austin and Bischoff bicker over who is the better pie eater ahead of contest #2 in the Redneck Triathlon. The ‘pie’ is introduced by Eric as a gaggle of beautiful girls. Bischoff wants to go first, and to seal the deal he agrees to let Austin ‘pick the flavour’. Pay-per-view cunnilingus folks. It’s a million dollar idea…
Christian vs Booker T – WWE Intercontinental Title Match
Given that Booker is from Houston, this arguably one of the biggest matches on the show. He just keeps getting screwed out of the IC Title by Christian. First it was in the Battle Royal at Judgment Day, then at Insurrextion when Captain Charisma beat him with feet on the ropes. Has he been saving up the win for a hometown celebratory party?
In overdubbing Booker’s entrance music for the home video release, they’ve also cut out the monster pop he got in his hometown. He starts hot, frequently knocking Christian off his feet and easily countering anything he throws back his way. 110th Street Slam gets an early nearfall, before the champ finally responds – snapping Book’s neck backwards into the top rope. Chinlock applied, which is pretty much a resthold to stall for time but does at least stay on the neck Christian just targeted. The challenger rallies and pirouettes into a superkick before hanging his opponent in the top rope. REVERSE DDT ON CHRISTIAN! Christian fails to use the ropes like he did in Newcastle last week, but hops back up to hit the BOOK END! Ghetto Blaster in the ropes nailed and followed by the Heat Seeker for 2! Christian bails, taking his belt up the aisle with him…only for the ref to randomly decide the title can change by count-out? Can they do that? Instead Christian hits Booker with the belt, causing himself to be disqualified at 07:52
Rating - ** - Given how atrociously dull their Insurrextion match was, this was like a breath of fresh air. They didn’t get much time (just as well, considering they squandered over fifteen minutes in the UK) but packed much more urgency and action into what they got. I liked the spot theft sequence, as well as the references to previous matches and a couple of familiarity counters…but that finish was really lousy call. Obviously in his hometown Booker’s fans hated it…but more importantly than that they did an almost identical finish for the World Title at Judgment Day last month. You can’t book ALL your champions on the same show to be chickensh*t heels who would rather get DQ’d than defend their belts.
REDNECK TRIATHLON – Jerry Lawler, with a facelift that looks more like a chinstrap, is in the ring to host event #2 – the Pie Eating Contest. Stone Cold agonises over which ‘pie’ to select for Eric…and of course it’s Mae Young. She gives him a forced Bronco Buster (whilst wearing a thong)…then turns round and gets a Stunner from Austin. He forfeits round two, meaning it’s 1-1 with one event left.
SIDENOTE – Fair play to Mae for signing up for this. We’d all like to be healthy enough to prance around in thongs and take Stunners on nationwide ppv’s at her age. But is this crap really worth the forty dollars, or whatever they were charging?
After a video package for the forthcoming debut of Gail Kim, we cut to shots of Kane backstage still brooding over Austin’s ‘get motivated’ speech from Raw a couple of weeks previously.
La Resistance trash Texas and George W. Bush on their way to the ring. They’d be babyfaces for that in most parts of the world…
Kane/Rob Van Dam vs La Resistance – World Tag Title Match
The French (Canadian) athletes continue to rise to prominence on Raw and have recently been scoring high profile singles victories over the Tag Champions. Steve Austin beat up Kane and called him a shadow of the monster he used to be…and as a video package shows, Kane’s response has been to sulk like a little girl even whilst his tag partner gets assaulted by La Res. Can they get on the same page, or will tonight be a night to remember for young Dupree and Grenier?
RVD grumbles at Kane for not warning him to get away from his turnbuckle pyro. It’s supposed to make Kane look inconsiderate, but since he does it before every match it mostly makes Van Dam look like the nagging wife in an old married couple. Dupree can’t cope with Rob’s unique offence, and meanwhile Kane appears to be refusing to tag in. Without his partner’s help RVD soon succumbs to the superior numbers of La Res. At last he does agree to a tag, and dismantles the challengers with ease – even after they drop him with a double neckbreaker. Van Dam lines up a somersault plancha to the floor…but accidentally takes out his own partner. La Resistance win with Bonsoir at 05:46
Rating - ** - These four met at Insurrextion, and the match was decent when the Kane/RVD were on offence then lousy whenever La Resistance and their generic, inexperienced and often incompetent style was at the fore. Tonight, whilst La Res were the winners, the whole match was carried by Kane and Van Dam so, on the whole it was pretty decent. The Kane/RVD team was only ever going to be a temporary thing since both of them have more to offer as singles wrestlers. Their break up angle has been building and this match represents the next step in that process. You could discuss the merits of putting the Tag belts on a super-green team with a gimmick designed only to capitalise on anti-French feeling in America in 2003, and essentially rehashing stuff which had flopped a year earlier with much better workers in the Un-Americans – but the fact remains that Kane and Van Dam needed to drop them and there wasn’t much competition! At least it’s fresh, unlike another Dudley Boy tag reign.
Chris Jericho vs Goldberg
This feud had a real zest to it, largely because many knew it was based off very real heat between the two. Jericho’s promo claiming people didn’t want him in WWE, and being refused matches with Goldberg in WCW because he wasn’t ‘a star’ were based on real life events. After a successful ppv debut against The Rock, big Bill has continued to mow through Raw – until Y2J stepped up to make his life difficult. He had his old friend Lance Storm attempt to run him over in a car, he sprayed mace into his eyes, he Speared him and he has sneak attacked him. Jericho wanted this match and claims his mindgames mean Goldberg is unhinged and incapable of beating him tonight.
Bill is frothing at the mouth waiting to get his hands on Jericho…and actually drives him out of the ring simply by locking up. The smaller Canadian athlete is peppered with MMA strikes in punishment for a month of abuse. Goldberg press slams him onto the top rope, then punts him over it with a roundhouse kick as the beating continues. Finally Jericho gets out of Goldy’s way, diving aside and causing him to SPEAR THROUGH THE GUARDRAIL! It leaves his shoulder mangled and blood trickling from his bald head and puts Y2J in the ascendancy for the first time. Instantly he starts attacking the shoulder – divorce court-ing him into a Fujiwara armbar with a large portion of the crowd starting to route for him. BICYCLE KICK from Bill, as he goes to his kicks whilst one of his arms hangs limp by his side. Jericho COUNTERS a spinebuster by dragging him down by the bad arm again and, to his credit, Bill’s sell-job on the arm has been extremely strong thus far. LIONSAULT ACROSS THE SHOULDER! FOR 2! He tries it again…but this time Goldberg simply stands up and dumps him with a fireman’s carry slam! SPEAR NAILED! But it injured his shoulder so he can’t cover! His arm gives out as he attempts the Jackhammer, so Chris simply turns him over into the Walls Of Jericho. He hasn’t worked on the legs though, so Goldberg simply kicks away from it. SPEAR AGAIN! JACKHAMMER! Goldberg gets the win at 10:58
Rating - *** - For all the sh*t Bill’s WWE run gets, this was a seriously decent little match. Jericho gets much of the credit of course because his cowardly lion act was spot on, alongside some great work on the shoulder. But this wasn’t the carry job many make it out to be. Goldberg has never been a pretty wrestler, and not everything he did looked silky smooth again here. But unlike against Rock, he wasn’t made to look like an idiot. Here he LOOKED like a bad-ass. JR played up his interest in mixed martial arts as he kicked, kneed and elbowed Jericho early. The Spear through the barricade spot was a well-timed and plausible way to protect his aura whilst letting Jericho get some offence in…and for 90% of the time his selling on the shoulder was really good. Goldberg is still struggling to get over because he doesn’t have the same snarky ‘cool’ factor that guys like Jericho and Rock have. WWE’s presentation of his character had been well off the mark and showed a fundamental misunderstanding of what made him a success in the first place. However, this feud and match were solid – and had he got to do more stuff like this rather than get made to look like a fool by Rock, then dragged down by HHH people may remember his time in WWE more fondly. I’ve not seen anything after Summerslam 2003, but I’d wager this was his best singles match of his whole tenure.
Having just praised him strongly, Goldberg then acts like a total tool by going out of the ring and getting into a temper tantrum when faced with a few Jericho fans.
With the Redneck Triathlon tied up, we go back to the GM office to spin the wheel for the final event. It will be a ‘Sing Off’, which delights Bischoff because Austin can’t sing. Interesting that they have a pen full of pigs set up though…
Ric Flair vs Shawn Michaels
These two have been kept out of the ring for both Judgment Day and Insurrextion as we built to this match. Shawn told Ric that he was his inspiration to become a wrestler, and encouraged him to stand up to Triple H rather than wilfully play a second rate manager to him. Flair seemed touched, but it was all a plot and it lead to him turning on HBK once again to align himself with The Game. Michaels was hurt, but came back vowing to show why many now consider him the greatest of all time, not Flair. The ‘I wasn’t passed the torch…I took it from you’ line from Shawn was delivered superbly by the way. This match pits the greatest from one generation against arguably the greatest from another.
Just in case you forgot Shawn was from Texas, his tights are covered in Lone Star flags. Flair tries to show him up and make fun of him…but Shawn simply outworks him right back before slapping him in the mouth. HBK actually drives Naitch out of the ring with the quality of his work and it’s clear that Ric can’t hang with him in a hold-for-hold wrestling contest. He goes to a trusted strategy instead – beginning an assault on Michaels’ leg. With his ability to stand severely impaired Shawn’s early success quickly fades away leaving the elder of the two completely dominant. The Figure 4 inevitably follows and even though Michaels doesn’t tap it does serious damage. Such is his success with that strategy that Lawler and JR both question why he tries to go to the top rope soon after – as it never works! Sweet Chin Music countered…Figure 4 COUNTERED TO A ROLL-UP FOR 2! Figure 4 locked in on Flair! Only momentarily though because Ric is an experienced cheater and puts his fingers straight into the eyes. Both men then try to pin each other using the tights in an homage to many of Flair’s most high profile victories in his prime. Superplex scores for Michaels…but rather than pin Flair Shawn decides to leave the ring and set up a table. Randy Orton tries to run in only to be pole axed with a superkick…and Shawn heads to the top rope for a TWISTING SUPERFLY SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE FLOOR! Back inside the ring Flair inadvertently hits Earl Hebner in the balls, meaning he lays on the ground as Michaels goes to the top for the flying elbow drop. SWEET CHIN MUSIC! But behind the ref’s back Orton sneaks in and knocks Shawn out with a steel chair. He drapes Flair over him, giving Nature Boy a tainted win at 14:18
Rating - *** - The match was going along just fine until all the gratuitous overbooking at the end. I’m not sure that this feud and match actually needed table spots and run-ins...and the crowd were really into the match when it was just a straight up wrestling match. The actual wrestling was the best part of this in fact. Flair had his working boots on and did a hell of a job hanging with Shawn, who was really hitting his stride in his return from injury now. The rumour I’d heard was that Michaels was really annoyed that they weren’t given more time to produce a classic – and obviously I agree with him. On a ppv which only has one match left and hasn’t even reached the two hour mark yet, with plenty of average matches and crappy skits you could have cut too, there’s no real excuse for not giving these two legends at least twenty minutes. Why hype it as a dream match if you’re not going to give them the chance to deliver on that promise? As was, this was clear MOTN thus far, but I don’t imagine it tops their WrestleMania match everyone talks about.
REDNECK TRIATHLON – Eric Bischoff’s attempt at singing constitutes miming along to his entrance music. When he actually sings he is terrible…so Austin suggests they spin the wheel again. The winner will now be determined in ‘Pig Pen Fun’ – where the aim is to toss your opponent into the pig pen. Austin Stuns Eric then easily tosses him in the pig sh*t.
SIDENOTE – The video package for the next match barely features Kevin Nash. The whole thing is basically focused on the HHH/Foley feud…
Triple H vs Kevin Nash – World Heavyweight Title Hell In A Cell Match
Nash and Hunter have been at odds since Kev’s return to Raw earlier this year. HHH has escaped with his World Title reign intact through various underhanded tactics at Judgment Day and Insurrextion, but faces the consequences for those actions tonight as he is sent back into Hell In A Cell. His record in the Cell is decent (2-1)…but unfortunately the man assigned to referee the match (none of the regular refs would do it after what happened to Tim White at Judgment Day 2002) is Mick Foley. Helmsley ended Mick’s career inside the Cell at No Way Out 2000. Are the Game’s chickens coming home to roost? Will Kevin Nash win his first World Title in almost three years tonight?
It takes less than thirty seconds for HHH and Foley to get into each others faces, whilst Nash stands there awkwardly like the husband who regretted asking his wife for a threesome. Eventually Diesel does get in on the action and commences trudging around the ring and the floor to dish out the traditional cumbersome beatdown. Hunter is assaulted against the cage, bumped around on the floor and battered with a chair…meaning by the five minute mark he’s already looking worse for wear. He takes evasive action to avoid the ring steps being hurled at him and clings to the Cell in a desperate attempt to escape the Jack-knife Powerbomb. He hunts around under the ring and takes a HAMMER to Nash’s leg! He also rattles his skull with a hammer too…and with Big Sexy well and truly on the deck HHH is free to get into another row with Foley. Kevin is bleeding from the hammer blow, and he turns round to see the Game coming up on him brandishing a screwdriver. STAB TO THE FOREHEAD! Next Helmsley pulls out his Hell In A Cell favourite, and the weapon he adopted after his wars with Cactus Jack three years ago. Nash beats the barbed wire 2x4 out of his hands though! BARBED WIRE 2x4 TO THE WORLD CHAMP! He is soon bleeding profusely. SNAKE EYES INTO THE BARBED WIRE! Hunter retaliates by smashing a wooden crate over the challenger’s head, and fishes under the ring to find his sledgehammer. Mick tries to take it from him…so gets punched in the face. Back to the bad leg goes HHH – kicking at it just when Nash seemed sure to strike him with a chair. CHAIR SHOT ON FOLEY! The referee is busted open now…but unlike when HHH tries those tactics on Earl Hebner, Mick just gets back to his feet to apply the MANDIBLE CLAW! Nash swings the steps at HHH but accidentally takes them both out! And when Mick drags himself back to the apron he gets knocked off, into the cell then to the floor! Pedigree blocked with a BARBED WIRE CATAPULT! JACK-KNIFE POWERBOMB! HHH kicks out! He crawls towards the sledgehammer and batters Nash with it! PEDIGREE! HHH retains at 21:02
Rating - *** - Who saw this coming? It didn’t reinvent the Hell In A Cell and it certainly won’t go down as the most memorable World Title Match ever…but considering how bad the matches between these guys had been, this was genuinely a real spectacle. HHH rolled back the years with a strong heel performance, and the Cell environment suited them both as it meant they didn’t have to go very far – and instead simply had to lumber around, bleed buckets and swing weapons. Foley more than earned his money too. It got off to a slow start but once the plunder came into play, and we weren’t reliant on Nash’s mobility, it was gruesome, violent and miles better than anyone predicted.
Ric Flair and Randy Orton have to carry HHH out, but he leaves Bad Blood with the World Title…
Tape Rating - ** - This was arguably a much better pay-per-view than Judgment Day or Insurrextion. Certainly it was more consistent and didn’t have anywhere near as much crap as those shows. But (and I’ll stress I don’t know what WWE were charging for their ppv’s in June 2003), I don’t think this show represents good value for money at all. The three main events were decent and all more or less delivered to expectations. But everything else was filler crap and stupid comedy skits you can see on Raw for free. Why pay $40 to see Christian cheat against Booker? Why on earth would you fork out to watch the Dudleyz, Mack and Nowinski in a seven minute match? Is the Redneck Triathlon really something they want to put on a major show? Surely their time would have been better spent stripping some of the filler back, giving things like Michaels/Flair more time – and even allowing some more talent (Dreamer, Storm, Hurricane, Regal, Jeff Hardy, the Women’s Title division etc) onto the show. Sure the HHH/Nash HIAC is far better than anyone expected. Sure Goldberg gave perhaps his best performance in a WWE ring. And sure Michaels/Flair, for the first ten minutes, was every bit as good as we’d hoped. Whilst Smackdown had Paul Heyman building characters up and down his card, and in his own words fighting every bit as hard to get Jamie Noble promo segments onto Smackdown as he would for Brock Lesnar’s WWE Title stuff, Raw simply hadn’t done enough to cultivate and promote the talent they had on the undercard. Most of this show is extremely lazy, making it hard to give anything but the most minor of recommendations to.
Top 3 Matches
3) Goldberg vs Chris Jericho (***)
2) Ric Flair vs Shawn Michaels (***)
1) Triple H vs Kevin Nash (***)