McXal's Reviews

Friday the 13th of December 2019, the premier date of this episode, is the same date that Final Battle goes live on pay-per-view. As such, there won't be much in the way of 'new' content this evening. Instead we'll be taking an in-depth look back at the 'wildest ROH show of the year' as Colt Cabana presented Unauthorized 2019. 

This is a 'Punderful' Six-Man Tag as Cabana has booked Cheeseburger to team with 'Double Cheeseburger' Beer City Bruiser and 'Triple Cheeseburger' Brian Milonas to face Dalton 'White Castle', Kenny 'Burger King' and 'Burger Flip' Gordon. Rhett Titus is on commentary, once again casting an eye over Kenny King...

Castle is excited to start but Flip rather cruelly forces him back to the apron. Deservingly, Gordon then struggles to cope with Bruiser's size. He gets smeared into the canvas before Bruiser goes on a biting rampage. Kenny doesn't make the same mistake; calling out Cheeseburger and ripping the burger hat from his head. CB sensibly scurries back to his corner to tag in Milonas, to which Kenny responds by running away and forcing Dalton in. He makes an ill-advised attempt at a body slam (which Titus and Ian inexplicably back him to pull off even though his back is shot to pieces) before deciding on a better strategy of forcing Kingpin into his corner for a 3-on-1 attack. Unfortunately a kick to the back of the head from Flip KO's Milonas causing him to collapse directly on top of Castle. Kenny and Flip make it worse by adding their body weight to the flattened Dalton when trying to rescue him. Beer City Bruiser is still drinking but eventually ambles in (after finishing his beer) to hoist his partner off of Dalton. The Bouncers run through the field hitting combo moves onto everyone, including a Kingpin senton splash onto both King and Castle simultaneously. Flip levels Burger with a Superkick, triple-teaming him in their corner whilst Milonas and Bruiser argue with referee Todd Sinclair. Cheeseburger escapes but Flip proves too illusive for either Bouncer. That is until Bruiser blocks the Kinder Surprise and throws him back into the ring for the Bossman Slam. KEG SPLASH by Bruiser gets 2. ASSISTED BURGER DESTROYER from CB to Flip gets 2. Amy Rose hops onto the apron, distracting Bruiser just as he looks set to win. The Bouncers recover fast and hit a double suplex. ARABIAN PRESS to the floor by King! Burger and Flip brawl on the stage, but when Gordon tosses CB off Milonas simply catches him on the floor. Gordon pisses everyone off by refusing to do a dive off the stage - throwing middle fingers up to the crowd then walking out on the match. Not one to disappoint - Bruiser charges into a crossbody off the stage instead. But he's drunk and accidentally delivers a cannonball to his own partner moments later. King sneaks up behind Burger to pin him for the win at 16:55

Rating - ** - There were enough moments of legitimate entertainment to ensure this wasn't a complete bust, but they could have accomplished the exact same match with half the time they got. Flip reverting to his villainous ways and walking out on the match was one of the highlights for me as it was a brilliant play off the last time ROH ran this building where he DID pop the fans by diving off a wall into the crowd. The worst part about this was that it stands as a living, breathing example of how little progression and development there really is on ROH's undercard. Fans have lost interest in Ring Of Honor precisely because the product is so static and NONE of these guys ever go anywhere. All of their matches bleed together and seem so futile.

Quite inexplicably, ROH have decided to put one of their most cynically self-indulgent and silly moments of the year (which is saying something) on television. Ian Riccaboni gleefully narrates footage of him delivering the climactic elbow drop to Brian Johnson in a 10-man tag which also featured Gary Juster, Todd Sinclair, 'Camera Man Gator' and Colt Cabana...

Brian Zane's Top 5 for the week is Top 5 ROH managers. I really dislike this segment, but he does at least include Lacey...

In unaired footage from Unauthorized, we see an emotional TK O'Ryan on the microphone. He criticises Vincent for breaking up The Kingdom, and fights back tears as he reveals that the head injury he suffered a while ago may well prevent him from wrestling again. 

Brian Johnson calls himself a failure in 2019. He didn't win the Top Prospect Tournament, and it ended in ignominy by losing to Ian Riccaboni and Colt Cabana. That changes next year, and he makes a promise that 2020 will be remembered as the 'year of The Mecca'. You can hardly blame him for that prediction not coming true...

There are no silly gimmicks with this one, Colt says he wants a hard-hitting 'Ring Of Honor style match'. The only addendum is that it will be lucha rules, as a nod to Rush and Dragon Lee. El Toro Blanco is the World Champion and is on an undefeated tear through ROH which includes victories over both Haskins and Williams. He and his brother are also undefeated as a team, possessing a victory over the reigning Tag Champions the Briscoe Brothers no less. It's been a tough year for Lifeblood; Haskins and Tracy are the last two members standing, and Mark is still potentially distracted by the looming spectre of an inevitable showdown with Bully Ray...

Haskins starts with Dragon, going straight for an armbar and trying to tap him out. He frustrates the masked man, rendering him completely unable to build up any speed through the opening minutes. Even when Lee does quicken things up, Mark matches him every step of the way. He tags out to Tracy after completing an impressive showing to start the bout. Rush and Williams in; and the champ's speed is too much for Hot Sauce who is battered out of the ring. Tracy trips Lee when he tries to hit a dive though, immediately putting Lifeblood back on top. With Rush down on the floor Haskins and Williams unleash a flurry of double-teams on his brother, with Haskins still targeting the arm as well. He also mocks Dragon by mimicking his signature springboard basement dropkick in the corner, again aimed right at the shoulder too. Dragon tries to fight back with a double clothesline...but only Haskins goes down since Williams was hit with the bad arm! That was AWESOME! Dragon tags in the World Champion who immediately almost knocks Tracy out with a running knee strike. Double dropkick levels Haskins (and shows The Allure how it should be timed)...clearing the ring for stereo Tranquilo poses whilst Lifeblood try to recover. Rush goes to the floor with his brother, both dishing out some of his usual chaotic guardrail runs. It's noticeable that Lee is showing plenty of his brother's 'Ingobernable' attitude too; breaking rules, raking the eyes of his opponents and more. Rush and Lee isolate Williams, giving him almost constant double-team moves whilst repeatedly hurling Haskins to the floor. Overkill does finally force his way in...but is quickly on his way out again as he and Williams land STEREO DIVES TO THE FLOOR! Lee saves his brother from the Infusion Piledriver and hits DRAGON'S FIRE on Tracy! SOLDIER ROLL POWERBOMB by Lifeblood in response gets 2. TURNBUCKLE DDT on Rush! DOUBLE STOMP by Lee to break the pin though. Haskins no-sells a German suplex, so Lee POWERS HIM INTO A BRAINBUSTER! RUNNING INSIDE-OUT RANA TO THE FLOOR! BULL'S HORNS ON TRACY! Rush wins at 15:53

Rating - **** - Matches like this are what is keeping Ring Of Honor (just about) alive; great athletes given just enough leeway to deliver something really special. It was a thrilling showing from Lee, bumping and selling to make Lifeblood look fantastic before rattling through some of his astonishing trademark moves to the delight of the crowd. The structure of the contest was smart as well; Lifeblood using their technical skill to dominate for the first five minutes...but slowly losing all control then getting battered into defeat as the ungovernable Rush and his spectacular little brother kept dropping bomb after bomb. 

Tape Rating - N/A - A light-hearted look back at Unauthorized was probably a smart move for a TV show ROH are putting up against their own pay-per-view. It was a particularly generous decision on their part to give away the spectacular Rush/Lee vs Lifeblood tag, since that was the best match of the entire Experience/Unauthorized weekend. The TK O'Ryan promo at the heart of the episode was a stirring piece of television too, bringing to a close an all-too-brief ROH career from a young guy who showed flashes of potential but was never really able to build up any momentum outside of his role as Matt Taven's stooge.