McXal's Reviews

With Death Before Dishonor in the books, but two weeks of television in the can taped before the PPV we are now in another batch of self-isolated episodes. This time around, ROH's approach is to run the 2017 Honor Rumble - which is totally fine by me. Athletes will enter, Royal Rumble-style, with the last man standing awarded a World Title Match next week. Ian Riccaboni and BJ Whitmer provide all the commentary from Atlanta, GA.

There is a lot that I can't explain about Marshall's appearance here. Firstly why are ROH going back to the guy again when he has proven so wildly unsuited to this promotion so many times before. Secondly why the hell is he so interested in Josh Woods? Seriously - we've had NOTHING to answer that question. And thirdly, why does his entrance involve him stepping out of a big cardboard box wrapped in aluminium foil? He paid Shane Taylor to beat up 'The Goods' in Concord (Episode 310), but now has to answer to the dangerous, 2017 Top Prospect Tournament winner in person...

No holding back from Woods - who mows down Marshall from the bell and f*cks him up on the canvas. He almost taps him out in the first thirty seconds...and then lays QT out with a springboard enzi instead. A loud asshole fan is yelling 'boring' at the top of his voice just to be a jerk. On the floor Woods misses a knee strike...and accidentally lays out a ringside security guy instead! Capture suplex on the floor for Marshall! Now it's QT's turn to be knee'd square in the jaw. The Goods desperately tries to suplex Marshall to the floor...but finds himself punished for his exuberance and countered into a back drop on the apron. When we come back from commercials God's Gift is in the air, wiping Josh out with a tope suicida. Fans chant 'bald spot' at him as he misses a quebrada...then he takes a horrible landing when Woods attempts some kind of DVD into the turnbuckles. Woods blasts him with a mounted knee strike...and fans are now booing that QT kicks out meaning this match continues. They stand around SUPER-awkardly in the corner, eventually setting up a huge bump as Woods delivers a German superplex. Which Marshall totally no-sells to hit a powerbomb!? Josh ignores that in return and locks in Deenda Bar to win at 06:43 (shown).

Rating - DUD - Having seen how bad this was, I'm astonished that ROH didn't cut this right down in post-production to a total squash win for Woods. They weren't helped by a vocal minority of asshole fans who were determined to sh*t all over both men...but this was ghastly. What the situation called for was a destructive, outright squash win for Woods. What we got was an overly long and crushingly awkward match which felt like it was harpooning the careers of both guys as it went along. I feel for Josh Woods. He has potential, but already is being managed horribly. They randomly threw David Starr in to ruin his tournament win - and that went nowhere. Now he's stuck with QT Marshall of all people!?

COLEMAN'S PULPIT - Caprice's guests are supposed to be the Briscoes, but Jay is in a 'bad place' after Death Before Dishonor so only Mark shows up. The host does his best to stir up trouble between the Briscoe brothers, and implies that their association with Bully Ray has led to their reputation in ROH diminishing. Mark concedes that Jay may need to adjust his priorities for the good of the team...

WAR OF THE WORLDS UK TOUR - Highlights of the tour are shown, but the only real long-term takeaways are Dalton Castle calling out Cody Rhodes for a World Title shot in Liverpool, right before he and The Boys lost the Six-Man Titles to Cody's Bullet Club partners Hangman Page and the Young Bucks.

Cody, having 'survived' Minoru Suzuki, joins commentary to scout his opponent for next week. Twenty men will enter this Royal Rumble-style bout. Over-the-top-rope eliminations will ensue until one man is left standing and is rewarded with a shot at the American Nightmare on Episode 315.

#1 is Jay White, joined by another former NJPW Young Lion in the form of Sho Tanaka at #2. White plays to the crowd and is almost dumped by Sho (who is in insane shape). These guys have been training partners in the Dojo and have no problem exchanging strikes and submissions. #3 is Punishment Martinez - who makes a beeline for his big rival White. #4 is Jon Gresham, who sprints towards Martinez trying to help his Search & Destroy partner. #5 is Rhett Titus, as Sho is thrown out by Gresham. #6 is Frankie Kazarian - in no rush to get involved whilst others start ganging up on Punishment. We cut to commercials, during which time Will Ferrara and Yohei Komatsu join us as #7 and #8...and return as Alex Shelley shows up at #9, bringing us up to three Search & Destroy members. Martinez soon changes that by tossing Gresham and White in quick succession! Shelley throws Titus out, right before Silas Young - 2016 winner - joins us at #10. He makes an immediate impression by hurling Ferrara out (as Cody cracks jokes about him being on the ring crew). Everyone left in the match throws Martinez to the floor somewhat unceremoniously - because the camera had already cut to Sal Rinauro as #11. #12 is Shane Taylor - who throws Silas and Shelley out IMMEDIATELY, with Rinauro and Yoh following soon after! Cody hops the rail and hands Taylor a wad of cash, having apparently paid him off. Flip Gordon is #13, with only he and Kaz left with Taylor. Flip and Shane REALLY nail each other, in an exchange which almost sees Gordon eliminated. #14 is Jay Lethal, who goes right after Cody's paid-off entrant Taylor. #15 is Hanson, who Taylor f*cking DECKS with a lariat! That was awesome! Chris Sabin is #16, who grabs Kazarian and forces him into the match having watched him stand on the periphery thus far. #17 is Bully Ray...who walks over to Taylor and makes him look like sh*t, because why should anyone other than Bubba get over right?! #18 is Ray Rowe, meaning both members of War Machine are in. He KO's Lethal and Flip in short order, but even War Machine combined can't eliminate Bully. #19 is Mark Briscoe...only for War Machine to throw him right back out! Rowe and Taylor are brawling in a nice shout-out to their 2016 feud. The clock hits for #20...and it's former WCW star Glacier. Which people pop loudly for - providing further evidence that I just don't get 2017 ROH fans. The porno music they use for his entrance doesn't help. Everyone in the ring has to sell for him...except Bully f*cking Ray of course. War Machine throw Taylor out, removing the most entertaining part of the match. Sabin is out next, again at the hands of Hanson. Bully eliminates Glacier, then Hanson...then Rowe as well. F*ck off Bubba Dudley you utter ass. How have they just booked him to eliminate War Machine and avoid selling for the old WCW codger too? Frankie shoves Flip to the floor removing him too, giving us a final three of Lethal, Kaz and Bully. Jay and Bully do the Wassup Headbutt...which Kazarian practically no-sells to knock Bubba to the floor. Christopher Daniels arrives to distract officials, meaning they miss Lethal eliminating Kazarian. Lethal Injection on Daniels! Frankie pounces and tosses Lethal - winning the Rumble at 23:28 (shown).

Rating - * - Very little of this worked for me. Shane Taylor was awesome - both in terms of his in-ring performance, and also for how having him work as Cody's paid-off entrant furthered his new persona as a mercenary. Truth be told I didn't like much else. Bully Ray's booking was utterly sickening. The man is increasingly toxic and the way he was allowed to look great at the expense of multiple more deserving talents was a huge worry. Major talents like Jay White, Jon Gresham, Punishment Martinez, Hanson, Ray Rowe, Silas Young or Alex Shelley all entering, but barely getting any relevant content was extremely alarming. The fact that the best idea Delirious had for next week was ANOTHER Cody vs member of Addiction main event sucks as well. Kazarian is easily one of the least inspiring choices to win here. They couldn't even find a way to book it as a clean finish either! And yet part of me is glad I don't have to sit through Cody/Glacier or Cody/Bully next week. This was a real slog to get through and a total waste of time - filling a dead episode with inane content in the aftermath of a pay-per-view. Go watch Lucha Underground do an Aztec Warfare Match if you want to see a televised Royal Rumble-style match done right...

The Addiction continue to berate the fans for turning on them and cheering for Cody. Daniels promises we'll see a new World Champion crowned next week...

Tape Rating - * - Woods/Marshall sucked. The Honor Rumble wasn't much better. I don't have any real desire to watch a Cody/Kazarian World Title Match next week either. This episode does get points for at least doing something different to fill a dead week of TV. To a casual fan the Honor Rumble format may have been more appealing. But to my taste there wasn't much of interest. Terrible booking, legitimate talents marginalised, Bully Ray hogging the spotlight. In truth this is one of my least favourite episodes of 2017...