Lucha Underground – Season Two Episode 5 – 24th February 2016
The Machine
Last week Catrina threw together two top contenders to Mil Muertes’ Lucha Underground Championship in the hope that they’d tear each other apart. Tonight she adopts the same strategy once again as she forces two more men who want Mil’s belt to take each other on. The combatants need no encouragement, and our main event should be a wild one as ‘The Machine’ Cage faces Johnny Mundo. Matt Striker and Vampiro provide commentary from Boyle Heights, CA.
Pentagon has returned to his secluded dojo in shame after being embarrassed by Prince Puma last week. Vampiro is brooding and dark, ordering him to return to The Temple and unleash the hell they’d always planned to. Even Catrina should be taken out if she stands in their way…
Jack Evans vs PJ Black
‘The Dragon Slayer’ is so full of confidence after beating Drago last time out that he steals the microphone from Melissa Santos and demands to do his own introduction. The former Aztec Medallion holder is looking to 2-0 for Season Two, but has a big test standing before him in the form of the Darewolf. Black will have been disappointed to lose his debut match to The Mack and will plan to rebound strongly. He’s in Lucha Underground looking for thrills – and will certainly find them in the form of the spectacular Evans.
Jack is one of the most genuine rudos on the roster at the moment, and proves it again by feigning respect them starting the match with a cheapshot on PJ. The Darewolf uses his dazzling kicking arsenal to keep Evans at bay then drops him for an early nearfall with a Chaos Theory. Evans springboards MOST OF THE WAY ACROSS THE RING for a corkscrew enziguri…as Drago appears on top of the perch in a crazy horned mask and brandishing nunchucks. Evans is furious and completely distracted, allowing PJ to hit the Black Diamond for 2. Drago descends to ringside…but inadvertently gives Black the Yellow Mist in error! Evans capitalises with the bridging backslide to win at 03:53
Rating - ** - There wasn’t a whole lot of match here to review. As I said during PBP, Evans is one of the few genuine out-and-out rudos Lucha Underground has so I’m glad they are doing something to get behind him. He and Drago have a fun dynamic together which I’m anxious to see more of. The direction they are taking Black in is a little less clear. Presumably as a former WWE guy he doesn’t come cheap, so they must be going somewhere with this…but staring at the lights twice consecutively isn’t the most dynamic of starts for the Darewolf.
Drago chases Jack away with nunchucks, but the damage has already been done. Evans bails and celebrates, leaving PJ to look accusingly at the Dragon…
A fun, cheesy commercial airs, showcasing what appears to be Famous B’s new gimmick as a hype-man/manager. He’s looking for talent who want to ‘get famous’…
King Cuerno vs Killshot
Last year these two didn’t get on particularly well. Killshot was responsible for the elimination of Cuerno’s team from the Trios Title Finals, and the illusive, mysterious ‘assassin’ was disliked by the ferocious hunter from that point. Now possessing the Gift Of The Gods Title, Cuerno has an agreement with Catrina to protect Muertes, but in doing so has placed a target on his own back. A win over King here would make Killshot an instant contender.
Striker wants to know why Cuerno isn’t being made to defend his title more by Catrina, but gets distracted as Kill starts with a double springboard missile dropkick and a casual corkscrew pescado to follow. The brawl on the floor continues…and again Shot comes out on top with a brutal kick against the apron. SUPERKICK by Cuerno! ARROW FROM THE DEPTHS! To the top rope they go, then down to the apron where Killshot tries to hit the running Ace Crusher. Sadly he slips whilst running and they both collapse in a rather ugly mess on the floor. He tries an Asai Moonsault back into the ring but is met with a rugged kick to the face by King. Tombstone countered to the Space Jam by Kill! Spiral Tap misses…and Cuerno wins with Thrill Of The Hunt at 05:28
Rating - ** - I like both men, but this fizzled rather than sparked into life to deliver something memorable. Obviously that rough apron botch didn’t help, but even if they’d have hit that clean there was still a lot missing. It felt more like an exhibition match than many we see in The Temple. Both men felt like they were hitting pretty spots for the sake of it – and that’s not normally a criticism one levels at a Cuerno match. He abandoned his usual approach of being the anchor around which the spectacular athletes can work their routine and resorted to tossing spots around for kicks himself. As a five minute spot match it was fine, but lacking in substance. These two are capable of more…
King Cuerno tries to give Shot the Thrill Of The Kill as well, but Fenix runs in and chases him away.
Texano vs Chavo Guerrero Jr./Cortez Castro/Mr Cisco
This isn’t a standard handicap match, but rather will be fought under Gauntlet Match rules meaning Tex will be facing his rivals one at a time. We know that this stretches back to last season when the Mexican families sent Texano to get revenge on Chavo for his crimes against ‘Mexico’…only for one of his victims (Blue Demon Jr.) to intervene and join Guerrero and The Crew in doing a number on the former AAA Mega Champion. Is tonight finally time for Texano to get some payback?
Predictably it’ll be Guerrero who enters last if needed, and Cisco who starts for their team. Chavo angrily barks orders at Mr C…who walks blindly into Texano’s Final Kick and is pinned in 00:10! Castro (undercover Officer Reyes) is next in, as the camera picks up Guerrero putting the boots to Cisco. Springboard swinging DDT gets 2 for Cortez and goes after the neck again with a swinging neckbreaker. Again that body part is blasted with a gamengiri, only for Texano to knock him back with a flying leg lariat. He lands the Ligerbomb and eliminates Castro at 03:07. Remember last season when you were supposed to buy The Crew as top guys?! Guerrero sneaks in behind Texano and instantly puts the boots to the neck that Castro softened up. Striker weirdly buries Chavo by saying that he ‘used to be’ one of the best wrestlers in the world, which strikes me as an odd way to promote your talent. Texano knocks him back with the Final Kick, but Castro trips him using his own bullrope then holds his legs down enabling Chavo to get a cheap win at 05:43
Rating - ** - This wasn’t the total bust I’d expected it to be. The Cisco elimination was a genuinely very funny comedic moment, and I really liked the fact that they worked the neck and used some coherent story-telling logic even during what was very much a filler match. The cheap finish protects Texano’s dignity…but at this point most of us are begging for this feud to be over. Chavo and Texano are much better than ANYTHING they’ve shown inside the ring thus far in their LU careers.
Guerrero celebrates with Texano’s bullrope…then runs for the hills as he is chased away!
We catch up with Black Lotus and Dario Cueto, still at their new underground fight club. Lotus is impatient to get back to The Temple, but El Jefe wants Matanza to get more ‘practice’. He tells Lotus a story of Matanza seemingly murdering their own abusive mother to protect him. That was the day he learned just how much he likes violence.
Catrina is confronted by an enraged Pentagon, demanding another match with Prince Puma. He tries to break her arm but is left perplexed by her teleporting powers. She agrees to let him face Puma again, but tells him he’ll pay a heavy price for putting his hands on her…
Johnny Mundo vs Cage
There aren’t many men who own victories over Mundo in Lucha Underground – but The Machine is one of them. Their first match (at the aptly titled ‘Mundo vs The Machine’ Season One episode) saw Cage walk away victorious. Johnny is no stranger to giving up some size and muscle having worked huge guys in the WWE – but a lot rests on his cunning and experience if he is to find a way to outwit his hulking opponent and take a step closer to the LU Title.
Mundo slaps the taste out of Cage’s mouth…which is a plan to draw Cage into a mistake. He draws The Machine to the ropes for a guillotine but it has almost no effect. Superplex blocked by Johnny, who actually slithers down the ringpost like a snake to evade The Machine’s clutches. SPRINGBOARD STEP-UP CORKSCREW PLANCHA BY MUNDO! He is literally having to innovate new spots just to put Cage down! He follows it by smearing Cage into the wall of The Temple to leave him wounded for the first time. Back in the ring Mundo smartly tries to keep Cage grounded with mounted chokes; acting swiftly even when he does get to his feet by countering GMSI into a jumping heel kick. Fin Del Mundo COUNTERED with an Alabamabomb though! Electric chair drop gets a nearfall for Cage, but both announcers notice how tired and worn down Cage looks. Mundo tries to capitalise with flash pins – a weakness we know Cage has following his feud with The Mack! Moonlight Drive COUNTERED TO THE F’N-5 for 2! Johnny blocks the dead-lift superplex but misses Fin Del Mundo. DISCUS LARIAT! Cage gestures angrily at Mil Muertes before setting up WEAPON-X! Taya Valkyrie makes her debut appearance at this point – running down and feeding Mundo a metal pipe whilst simultaneously distracting the ref to stop a pin from occurring. Johnny levels an unsuspecting Cage with the pipe and gets a tainted win at 07:53
Rating - *** - I really liked the wrestling here, so I hope we get a rematch with a better finish somewhere along the line. Mundo’s relationship with Melina had ended by this point meaning Ultima Lucha was her only appearance. I’m not sure if Mundo and Taya were actually seeing each other (at time of writing in 2018 they are now engaged) by this point, but Taya was already a prominent luchadora in AAA so her arrival in The Temple to add to the rapidly strengthening female cast isn’t too much of a shock. It’s a shame they harpooned the quality of the match to debut her though, as these guys were on fire before it. Mundo was fantastic as a slimy, sleazy strategist; luring Cage into silly mistakes, making up moves on the spot to surprise him and trying to exploit weaknesses established in the previous Season…whilst Cage kept absorbing everything thrown his way and marching relentlessly back at Johnny like ‘The Machine’ we know him to be. We’d be talking an easy extra star on this if they had a better finish lined up.
Mundo and Taya dish out a beating to Cage, leaving him flat on the deck as the show ends.
King Cuerno marches into Catrina’s office, fed up of having to fight someone that ‘won’t die’ in Fenix and carrying around the Gift Of The Gods Title being a target for everyone. He tries to cash in the Gift Of The Gods for a shot at Mil next week…but unfortunately Catrina declines because she’s already booked him in something else. She is making him defend the Gift Of The Gods Title against Fenix – in a Ladder Match…
Tape Rating - ** - Probably the weakest episode of the Season thus far. It wasn’t bad at all, but four matches in such a short amount of broadcast time is just too much. None of them got enough time, so flew past in a blur of largely forgettable, high-spot orientated sprints. Packing too much in-ring stuff onto the show also limits the amount of enjoyable cinematic sequences we have time for as well. In many ways learning more about the Cueto family history from El Jefe, or watching Catrina teleport all over the place to bewilder Pentagon were as interesting as any of the wrestling on display here. If you’re watching on Netflix then Mundo/Cage doesn’t go long and is extremely enjoyable whilst it lasts. Nothing about this one is must-see though…