Lucha Underground – Season One Episode 34 – 1st July 2015
Gold & Guerreros
We are four weeks out from Ultima Lucha, with the stakes just getting higher and higher. Last week we seemed to have our main event headline bout set as Mil Muertes defeated Drago to become #1 contender to Prince Puma’s LU Championship. But it would be a long, boring month if Dario Cueto didn’t have a few more twists in the title picture lined up – and we may just see evidence of that this evening. Vampiro and Matt Striker call all the action from The Temple in Boyle Heights, CA.
Dario Cueto is back having missed the last couple of episodes, congratulating Chavo Guerrero on his victory over Blue Demon three weeks ago. It turns out the deal for Chavo to turn Black Lotus over to El Jefe had three conditions – firstly The Crew now provide protection from ‘Mexico’, secondly he got Blue Demon served up to him on a platter…and his third request is for an Anything Goes Match with Puma for the title. Cueto agrees to the final demand and it happens tonight. There’s even an added stipulation that if Konnan gets involved Puma automatically forfeits and Guerrero becomes champ.
Delavar Daivari vs Texano
The rivalry between these two is so fiery that standard rules matches are struggling to confine them. Daivari came to The Temple merely as a wealthy spectator, but attacked Texano during the Trios Title Tournament final after an unintentional collision in the crowd – starting a war which continues to rage whether anyone really cares about it or not. Can Texano get some revenge on ‘The Golden Warrior’ tonight? Will Daivari’s paid henchmen Big Ryck, who stands at ringside, be a factor?
Delavar jumps Tex during his entrance but then hides behind Ryck to avoid any ramifications. The big man continues to distract Texano and it presents Daivari with a window of opportunity to attack the former AAA Mega Champion’s leg. Vampiro struggling to say Daivari’s name correctly is more entertaining than anything the man himself has done in his brief Lucha Underground career. He can’t even get more than the smallest smattering of ‘woo’s when putting Tex in a Figure 4 Leglock to grind down that bad leg some more. Even Striker starts getting poor Daivari’s name wrong now! Texano blocks a frankensteiner with a missile dropkick…but stays down because that hurts his leg as much as it damaged his opponent. Delavar blocks Tex’s Ligerbomb finish with a face-buster, as Ryck hops onto the apron wielding Texano’s bullrope. The Final Kick knocks Ryck off the apron! Ligerbomb on Daivari, giving Texano a big win at 06:09
Rating - * - As I expected when he showed up, Daivari isn’t doing a whole lot to enhance the Lucha Underground product…and in fact has derailed the momentum of Texano, an act who I was interested in watching. I quite liked Tex’s performance here though. For the first time I believed in him as a ‘blue collar’ babyface, and up until the finish he did a way better job selling the leg than Daivari really deserved for his tedious, unimaginative heel heat segment.
Prince Puma works out whilst receiving a pep talk from Konnan. Catrina and Mil Muertes both teleport into the gym, promising to take his title if he survives Chavo tonight. Konnan, quite ridiculously, no-sells this show of supernatural intimidation as ‘mind-games’.
Back from commercials and Konnan is having a shady meeting with an unseen confidant. It’s someone who has a grudge against Chavo, isn’t happy about what happened to Blue Demon…and as per Konnan is now authorised to ‘reclaim that debt’ by representing Mexico and taking Chavo out tonight.
Hernandez vs Drago
I still hate Hernandez wrestling in actual tights; he looks so much less intimidating. This is a grudge match with Drago looking for payback after the big Texan jumped him before his Ultima Lucha contendership match with Mil Muertes last week. Hernandez violently assaulted him with a leather strap, costing him victory and the title shot he fought so hard to earn.
Drago’s speed is too much for the exceedingly cocky Hernandez, and the big man is made to look foolish for a couple of minutes as the athletic dragon-man runs circles round him. But such is size it takes just a single blow to even things up…and he delivers it by countering a hurricane into a buckle bomb. Argentine backbreaker gets 2, and Hernandez even finds time to pose for the camera as he fells him once more with a TKO. Drago returns fire by catching him in the corner for a frankensteiner…and then trips him straight over the top rope for a somersault plancha. SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW SENTON TO THE FLOOR TOO! BORDER TOSS INTO THE APRON by Hernandez. He tears a leather belt from the waist of a front row fan…and starts flogging Drago once again. That’s an obvious disqualification at 06:44.
Rating - ** - Obviously they were building to another match in future show couldn’t give away the farm here. Thankfully what we did get was pretty good. Drago is very decent in the ring with bigger guys and although this didn’t have the same levels of drama that his match with Muertes had last week, there were a lot of the same qualities to it. LU are also taking Hernandez’s character in a slightly new direction too – now presenting him as a cocky, arrogant outsider who is disliked in the locker room but dominant inside the ring. It fits him well and I thought he carried that character through his ring work very well.
Hernandez hangs Drago from the ropes using the belt…then goes ULTRA HEEL by getting on the microphone and telling the Believers that ‘dragon’s aren’t real’.
Catrina teleports in on Chavo’s preparations for the main event. She warns him that even if he wins tonight Mil Muertes will destroy him at Ultima Lucha. Mil teleports in too…and for the second time on this show is totally no sold! Chavo walks away telling them he’ll see them at Ultima Lucha.
Marty Martinez vs Alberto El Patron
Does The Moth have naked pictures of Dario Cueto or something? He’s gone from being a crazy fan getting evicted by security and invading The Temple…to someone that works the top talent (Puma and Alberto) and gets Aztec Medallion Matches despite not having a single win to his name. Luckily his slightly Snitsky-esque smiling lunatic persona is quite fun to watch. He plans to profit from El Patron looking past him to Johnny Mundo at Ultima Lucha…by scoring the biggest upset win in the season so far.
Marty pops as hard for Alberto’s entrance as any of the fans in the audience. El Patron looks extremely intense and absolutely mauls him with intense striking. He lands the armbreaker, and rams The Moth’s shoulder hard into the ringpost. ROMPE DESTINOS! Marty taps at 00:54
Rating - N/A - Exactly the strong squash it needed to be. It’s a shame that Lucha Underground have had Alberto for the vast majority of this season and haven’t gotten him in the ring to face more of the roster (outside of multiple bouts with Texano and Mundo). The one positive of limiting the time he’s spent wrestling for this promotion is that every time he steps into the ring it feels special. Right now his match with Mundo feels far more like the main event of Ultima Lucha than Puma/Muertes. He looked suitably like a rock star here to continue the hype for that big showdown…
El Patron takes a mic and thanks Mundo for awakening his dark side. He’s going to get vicious, ruthless and sadistic at Ultima Lucha.
Prince Puma vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. – LU Title No DQ Match
This is a match some never thought we’d see, after Chavo’s early Lucha Underground outings brought him so little success he actually fled the company. As Puma’s career went from strength to strength it felt like we were witnessing the sad demise of a once-great member of the legendary Guerrero family. That was until El Dragon Azteca pleaded with Chavo to return to The Temple. Fearing for his protégé Black Lotus’ life, he implored Chavo to protect her from Dario Cueto and his brother Matanza. Guerrero agreed, but returned to Lucha Underground to sell Lotus out at the first opportunity to get a better deal for himself. He now has The Crew protecting him from the families in Mexico whom despise him. He got to beat up Blue Demon Jr., avenging his loss from the season premiere episode. And now he gets this – a title shot with the exact stipulations he requested. It’s No DQ meaning anything goes, and if Konnan interferes then Chavo is instantly declared the new champion. Can Puma add another high profile name to his list of successful title defences…or has he been so distracted by Mil Muertes that Chavo can sneak in the back door and scupper his Ultima Lucha plans?
Despite wanting a no rules match, it probably makes more sense that Chavo tries to take the ultra-athletic champion down to the canvas where he can utilise his technical proficiency. He finds time to antagonise Konnan too, looking to goad Puma’s trainer into giving away the title. Prince rolls over Guerrero’s back to create some distance…and as he does so Chavo’s knee hyper-extends and he goes down like he’s been shot. It’s a legitimate injury leaving him unable to stand…so instantly The Crew pile into the ring attacking the champ. They drop him with the double stomp DDT combo, holding him down so the one-legged Guerrero can climb the ropes. It’s doubtful that he could even pull off the Frog Splash if he made it up there…but we don’t find out because Konnan waves the mystery man he was speaking to earlier out. It’s Texano, who (gently) shoves Guerrero off the ropes. Puma climbs for the 630 Senton and retains at 04:55
Rating - N/A - It’s unfair to rate this as a genuine injury cut it short before it had even started. I’m very disappointed as Chavo always has his best matches against opponents like Puma who can do all the running and take all the bumps whilst he quietly takes care of the technical stuff. Innocuously blowing out his knee two minutes into his biggest match of the season is reflective of what an unfortunate and underwhelming year Guerrero has had.
Texano tells Chavo that ‘Mexico’ isn’t just coming for him…it’s here! He represents the Mexican families it seems. Backstage Guerrero nurses his bad knee, and is confronted in the locker room by a gloating Blue Demon. Chavo points out that the fans like Texano more than him, and that Tex now represents Mexico, not him; a ‘has-been, who lives in Miami’. That touched a nerve – the show ends with BDJ roughing Chavo up whilst screaming ‘I am Mexico’
Tape Rating - * - This was one of my least favourite episodes of the whole season, although it isn’t all LU’s fault since they couldn’t legislate for Chavo getting injured in the main event. The lifeless feud between Daivari and Texano thankfully looks to be over, but they had another completely mediocre showdown here. Hernandez and Drago were decent in the ring together but visibly holding loads back for Ultima Lucha, and personally I hated the way Konnan, Puma and Chavo no-sold Catrina and Mil’s superpowers like an everyday occurrence. I know this is an extreme pro-wrestling universe, but since when did we become so nonchalant about monstrous, masked luchadors who can teleport into your gym on a moment’s notice? Alberto El Patron’s segment was probably the highlight of this episode…