Lucha Underground – Season One Episode 9 – 7th January 2015
Aztec Warfare
I’ve read many people proclaim this to be the episode that converted them into a ‘Believer’…that’s the level of hype some have given the inaugural Aztec Warfare Match. Lucha Underground are dedicating the entirety of this episode to crowning their first ever champion. It’s a Royal Rumble type affair, with the twist being that anything goes and that eliminations are by pinfall or submission. Matt Striker’s voice is shot after a long weekend of TV tapings, so sounds f*cking horrible which is a shame for such a historic show. Nevertheless he and the excitable Vampiro are poised and ready at ringside. We journey to the Temple in Boyle Heights, CA.
Aztec dancers and drummers perform a blessing ceremony – which is a nice touch to make the episode stand out from others. Cueto is in the ring with a microphone to run through the rules with the Believers in attendance. What I love about him (or the actor’s performance of the character if you prefer) is how much more excited and intense he gets as the audience roar their approval of his concept. This isn’t a classic heel authority figure who wants to piss off the fans because it’s ‘best for business’. He’s a wealthy promoter and enjoys the chaos and violence his money and influence is able to produce…and when it excites a live crowd that can even heighten his pleasure.
LU Title Aztec Warfare Match
Dario Cueto calls this his greatest idea thus far; throwing together essentially the entire Lucha Underground roster with the last man standing crowned the inaugural LU Champion (and duly leaving with the ugliest title belt in wrestling). We know that as a result of the ‘Unique Opportunity’ offered on the last episode that Mil Muertes will be the twentieth and final entrant, and likewise the ‘loser’ that night – Fenix – enters at #1. To reaffirm once more, although entries take place every 90-seconds akin to a Royal Rumble, eliminations are by pinfall or submission only. That means there are no other rules and the match can go anywhere.
We know Fenix is #1 of course, and he comes out still bandaged and wounded from the stresses of the Unique Opportunity episode. #2 is more of a surprise – and with a smirk on his face as he states it was a ‘random draw’, Dario introduces Johnny Mundo! They work unnecessarily quickly considering how much of a long night they have in front of them…and are soon joined by Mr Cisco at #3. TURNBUCKLE DVD by Fenix! FIN DEL MUNDO! Mr C is sent packing at 02:18, and when we return from commercials our #4 entrant is revealed as King Cuerno. Arrow From The Depths Of Hell takes out Mundo within seconds as the fight spills to the outside. ROPE WALK SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO THE FLOOR by Fenix! Son Of Havoc is #5; quickly leaving the ring with a Space Flying Tiger Drop! #6 is Pimpinela Escarlata, who makes a beeline for Havoc whom he has history with. Once he’s despatched Pimpinela even has time to out-work Fenix and Cuerno simultaneously! Our #7 competitor is Prince Puma…and he goes right after Mundo! The mystery lady is spending another week watching from the crowd – and she watches as Ivelisse enters at #8 and hits a top rope flying headscissors on Fenix. She takes out Escarlata with a corkscrew kick, feeding him into Havoc’ shooting star press – giving Son Of a measure of retribution as he eliminates ‘Pimpy’ at 08:59 (shown). #9 is Drago who wants Cuerno, but gets caught up in a mess of people and ends up nearly eliminating Fenix with a standing blockbuster. HEAD DROP REVERSE RANA on Puma! Elsewhere Cuerno gives Ivelisse the Thrill Of The Hunt to eliminate her at 10:34 (shown). #10 is Bael/B-Boy…who’s entrance is undermined by an insane SKY TWISTER PRESS TO THE FLOOR by Drago! Puma gives Havoc a version of the Benadryller to send him packing at 11:36 (shown)…the pace is starting to quicken! In one movement he pops up from the mat and wipes out Johnny with a corkscrew pescado! Cortez Castro enters at #11 meaning we have two Crenshaw Crew members in play now. They quickly join forces to start a fight with Puma and Mundo of course.
#12 is Ricky Mandel, getting involved in a brawl on the floor as inside the ring Puma eliminates Bael with a Red Star Press at 13:50 (shown). Johnny immediately tries to one-up Prince by giving Cortez a running knee and eliminating him at 14:14 (shown). With all of his lackies out of the running, lucky #13 is Big Ryck! Within seconds he hits the Book Of Ezekiel on Mandel to send him on his way in a time of 14:59 (shown). He then feeds Drago into the Thrill Of The Hunt, allowing King Cuerno to eliminate his big rival at 15:20! DRAGON’S TAIL FROM MUNDO TO CUERNO! Using the move that beat him in his debut, Mundo eliminates Cuerno at 15:32 (shown). #14 is Pentagon Jr., drawing the sort of reaction which tells you that he is already something of a cult favourite. He throws out superkicks to all comers, followed by the sickening powerbomb backbreaker on Puma. FRONT FLIP POWERBOMB ON FENIX! Super Fly makes his entrance at #15 and breaks up Penta’s momentum with a flying headscissors. TOPE ATOMICO to the floor to avoid a beating by Ryck! It’s only Mundo and Puma who consistently engage Big R – with everyone else avoiding him. #16 is Chavo…who carries a chair with him and instantly brains Super Fly with it to eliminate him at 19:12 (shown). He then turns round and NAILS Pentagon with it too! So much for their alliance…Penta is gone at 19:26. #17 is Mascarita Sagrada, a great late draw for the mini! He gets a huge reaction, particularly since he goes right after Chavo! RANA OVER THE TOP ROPE to take out Fenix…only for Fenix to recover and boot him in mid-air as Sagrada dives off the apron! #18 is Sexy Star, sprinting straight at Guerrero of course! APRON CANNONBALL NAILED! Inside the ring Mascarita and Ryck lock horns…DIVING ELBOW ON SAGRADA! That looked insane, and Ryck eliminates the mini at 22:37 (shown). #19 is El Mariachi Loco, the potwasher-turned-luchador who back flips over Ryck into a fight with the exhausted Fenix and Mundo instead. The final countdown begins, and it’s time for Mil Muertes to enter at #20.
SPEAR on Puma! FLATLINER on Mariachi! MID-AIR DEATH PUNCH ON FENIX! Then he goes back to eliminate Mariachi Loco at 24:50! FIN DEL MUNDO ON RYCK! RED STAR PRESS by Puma! 450 SPLASH BY FENIX! Chavo is desperate to get the credit, and steals the pin to eliminate the big man at 26:20 (shown)…although it looked a little messed up as Fenix was still hanging around too. Guerrero then gets huge heat by smashing his steel chair over Fenix’s head to end his lengthy stay in Aztec Warfare at 26:45 (shown). CHAIR SLAM ON SEXY STAR! BLUE DEMON JR RETURNS! Blue Demon stops Chavo stomping a chair into Sexy’s face…and instead she gets to whack him over the head with it. To great applause Star eliminates Chavo at 28:28 (shown). We’re down to the final four as we go to our last commercials – Sexy Star, Johnny Mundo, Prince Puma and Mil Muertes. Star is such a tough cookie she tries to pick a fight with all three opponents! SPEAR BY MUERTES! She is gone at 29:58. Puma and Johnny take turns trying to fight the Man of a Thousand Deaths, and with Prince distracted Mundo hurdles the ropes to give him a FLYING SPLASH INTO THE APRON! Puma somehow recovers from that and comes back to give Mundo the BENADRYLLER! Catrina tries to interfere…SPRINGBOARD ENZI FROM MUNDO TO CATRINA! Muertes is f*cking furious! SPRINGBOARD CHOCOLATE RAIN BY PUMA! SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH COMBO BY MUNDO AND PRINCE! THEY ELIMINATE MUERTES! It’s Mil’s first pinfall loss at 33:13 (shown)…and our final two take us back to the very first Lucha Underground main event. Once again it’s Johnny Mundo and Prince Puma! Puma cranks up the pace, which after entering at #2 Johnny struggles to deal with. Mundo wildly tries to slow him down with a rolling single leg crab, but Lance Storm he ain’t and it never looks likely to win it. They battle up the ropes…SPANISH FLY BY PUMA! MUNDO KICKS OUT! And he grabs a leg desperately trying to stop Puma going upstairs again! TOP ROPE REVERSE RANA BY JOHNNY! FIN DEL MUNDO! PUMA KICKS OUT! Johnny tries to set up the top rope C-4…but Prince KICKS HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE! 630 SENTON NAILED! PUMA WINS! PUMA WINS! He is the first LU Champion at 39:11 (shown)!
Rating - **** - The most important thing they achieved here was delivering what all good Royal Rumbles do: they ensured there was no ‘wasted’ ring-time and we were seeing great action and stories being told at all times. The entire roster from the first two months of Lucha Underground television were here…and by and large they all got time to shine and to further whatever program they were working. From Son Of Havoc and Ivelisse getting payback on Pimpinela Escarlata, to spotlighting the Chavo/Sexy and Drago/Cuerno feuds, to giving both Muertes and Ryck chances to look like utter monsters, all the way to the extremely exciting conclusion which brought perennial rivals Mundo and Puma back together once more – this was forty minutes of wonderfully executed story-telling. It wasn’t completely flawless though. I thought the elimination of Ryck (and Chavo’s participation in it) looked sloppy, and it seemed like both Pentagon Jr. and Fenix (who after entering at #1 should have been way more of a story) didn’t get to do as much as I’d have liked. Nevertheless it all made for a great hour of television and a hugely enjoyable way to crown the first champion.
Konnan enters the Temple to celebrate with his protégé, although there is an uneasy chemistry between those two and Mundo as the show ends.
Tape Rating - **** - Aztec Warfare is a really fun new twist on an old concept, and it made for a thrilling episode here. The brilliance of it was that you didn’t need to be a fan of Lucha Underground to really like this. Of course knowledge of the characters and stories help – but Striker and Vampiro are there to connect some of those dots. The important thing is that anyone flicking through the channels or tuning in for the first time could have sat through this match, understood everything that was happening and immediately be drawn into this particular wrestling product. In many ways this was as ‘normal’ as Lucha Underground have gotten thus far. There were no cinematic vignettes, no balcony dives or whacky character expositions…this was a straight-forward twist on the Royal Rumble formula, but done in an exciting and accessible manner. It’s no surprise that many point to this as the episode that converted them into a ‘Believer’. Huge recommendation if you’ve not seen this one already.