Empress Pro-Wrestling – Escape Artists Never Die – 17th January 2015
Throughout my time with McXal’s Reviews I like to think I’ve been a fairly ardent supporter of presenting women’s professional wrestling seriously, credibly and as an athletic spectacle rather than solely a glorified tits and ass sideshow. So when the opportunity comes along to help support an upstart British Joshi company that is practically right on my doorstep I couldn’t help but check them out. Unfortunately I couldn’t make it to their full debut event in January 2015, but with the MP4 of the show now available for global download I now have it ready to go. It’s a small, niche, upstart promotion on presumably a pretty tight budget – so don’t expect any kind of production values. But hopefully the dedication, passion and sheer work ethic of some extremely talented female performers (who deserve more exposure than they get) will shine through. We’re in High Wycombe, UK.
SIDENOTE – Immediate props to this show for being named after an absolutely incredible song…
Nikki Storm vs Pollyanna
Nikki got plenty of exposure recently when she took part in TNA’s second ‘British Boot Camp’ project (where I believe she made the semi-finals). A cursory check of the internet reveals she includes Robbie Brookside amongst her trainers so you know she should have some genuine quality. She’ll be working heel here, establishing her character quickly with an endearingly self-absorbed pre-match promo.
Nikki demands to be introduced second…then wants her hometown of Glasgow, Scotland is given the reverence it deserves. Not everything about her act is great, but by the time the match starts she has the small crowd in the palm of her hand. Pollyanna cuts a stoic figure against the more polarising Nikki – but as soon as the match starts she springs into action with a pretty devastating boot to the chest…then drives her opponent out of the ring with chops. Taking the fight to the floor proves to be to Nikki’s advantage, since she’s able to ambush Polly then repeatedly brain her against the apron. As aggressive as she is irksome, she finds a number of devious ways to work her opponent over – from pulling her hair, to crotching her on the turnbuckles to something as simple as crunching her face into the canvas. She works hard to neutralise the hard-hitting strikes of her adversary and shows some solid wrestling competence amongst all the more gimmicked screeches and obvious heel tactics. Even when Pollyanna does catch her with a leg capture suplex she pops up again moments later swinging forearms and doing everything in her power to shut her down. ANGEL’S WINGS by Polly! Storm absorbs that and lands her version of Cradle Shock…for 2. Such is her disbelief at Pollyanna’s kick out that she throws a torrent of abuse in the direction of the ref. Polly capitalises by rolling her up for three at 09:49
Rating - *** - Considering the stage these two were on this was extremely well pitched. Nikki’s performance may not have been to everyone’s liking, but she drew plenty of heat from a small crowd – and as such ensured the show got off to a lively start. What was particularly engaging about her was how she dialled up the intensity with every minute of the match that passed. Of course she had plenty of time to work her heel routine, but as the match wore on she demonstrated some really exceptional wrestling skill to prove she wasn’t all gimmick. In truth she was as memorable, enjoyable and credible in defeat as Pollyanna was in victory – which probably means you can consider this a successful match. With only one major mis-step, plenty of solid striking and a really feisty finish I certainly found plenty to enjoy.
Faith Lehaine vs Violet O’Hara
I feel like Faith has been around for a long time. I’m sure I remember seeing her at at least one Chick Fight event YEARS ago. Anyway, she is part of a rather entertaining double act with Nadia Sapphire (Team Superficial according to my friend the internet), who accompanies her to ringside and whom we’ll see in action later tonight as well. Her opponent is Violet O’Hara, who has trained with the legendary Knight family (of Sweet Saraya, Britani ‘Paige’ Knight and Ricky Knight fame)…
Violet is so small Faith wants to know if she has ID, which makes me chuckle loudly. Since she is a self-proclaimed ‘Diva’, Lehaine is less than thrilled when she tries to bully the smaller woman only to find herself tripped face-first into the deck. She vents her frustration by tossing little O’Hara around the ring by her hair, with ‘Princess Nadia’ roaring her approval from the floor. Nadia then becomes an active participant, sneaking in to throttle O’Hara against the ropes behind the ref’s back. Violet appears to be targeting the face – hitting her with a sliding facecrusher, instantly followed with a neat flipping facecrusher. Lehaine shows her experience and skill though, absorbing that then taking her to the ground for an assortment of stretches. By the five minute mark Nadia’s persistent shrieking will have you reaching for the mute button, but don’t let it distract you from a hell of a job from Faith in using her mat skills to keep the ‘Pocket Princess’ grounded and away from her face. Together they rather botch O'Hara's attempted Ude Yoshino…but it actually works in her favour as the ugly mess-up actually plants Lehaine directly on her face again before she clamps onto a Fujiwara armbar. Faith taps…but of course Nadia is on the apron distracting the ref. As Violet tries to get rid of Nadia, Faith schoolgirls her from behind to steal a victory at 08:02
Rating - ** - Like the first match, the strong heel/face dynamic in play here really helped carry things. Team Superficial are heels in the ‘Team Blondage’ ilk from SHIMMER’s early shows…and Faith looked really strong as she continually grounded her fiery opponent where she could utilise an assortment of stretches and holds to her advantage. Whilst I really dug that approach, in truth it did make for a slightly less exciting encounter than the opener – and Nadia Sapphire's shrieking, repetitive schtick from the outside became incredibly distracting (in the wrong way). I get the gimmick, I get what they were going for, but having ‘well done Faith’ and ‘well done babe’ screaming through your speakers after literally EVERY SPOT does grate. I will say that Violet made a hell of a whipping girl to display the skills of Lehaine against. She took her beating well, and I really liked the rather subtle play on her opponent’s ‘Diva’ nickname as she continually went back to the face with most of her offence. The majority of this was only very basic stuff – but I’d much rather workers stick to what they know and try to tell effective stories with it rather than attempt something they’re not capable of actually doing properly.
Chardonnay vs Ruby Summers
I’ve not seen Summers before so she will be totally new to me. Chadonnay’s ‘chav’ gimmick is simply awesome though. She’s also a good looking girl with a bit of height and size to her, which always helps when trying to break out from the pack. Chardonnay has had more mainstream exposure, with a couple of prominent British newspapers running articles on her, and I’m sure I read somewhere she has worked try-out matches during WWE’s recent UK tours.
The first serious advantage of the match goes to Summers after she lands a rebound crossbody…but it provokes Chardonnay into action as she rakes her eyes then stomps her into the corner. Chardonnay is actually really vicious, physically scraping Ruby’s face across the mat then driving repeated headbutts into her stomach. Bridging fisherman buster from Summers gets 2…before she scales the ropes into a NASTY diving boot to the face for the win at 06:34
Rating - ** - Once again nothing outrageously outstanding, and largely a basic match…but again the workrate from these women did shine through. Chardonnay is considerably more memorable, and her gimmick is so fun (even though we didn’t actually see her show much of it on this occasion). She's also an extremely attractive woman so it's easy to see why she could soon be on WWE's radar. Summers was game though and probably tossed around as many spots as anyone else has tonight. That finish looked really violent.
Nadia Sapphire vs Nixon Newell
The other half of Team Superficial now steps into the ring. Having seen (and helped) her partner emerge victorious earlier in the show the pressure is on her to deliver a clean sweep on Empress’ debut event. I always marked out in SHIMMER when Ariel would use B*Witched’s ‘C’est La Vie’ as her entrance music, and I do the same here when Nixon uses it…
Nixon is as over as any babface has been tonight. You can decide for yourselves whether that’s because of B*Witched, or because of Princess Nadia’s act. Nadia is hesitant to lock up for fear of damaging her nails…so Nixon stomps the hand! And when Nadia tries to bail Newell simply boots her off the apron then hits the ropes for a TOPE SUICIDA through both members of Team Superficial. Amusingly, Sapphire retaliates by twerking her opponent into the corner then pummelling her with chops. She then admires herself in her pocket mirror. ‘Twerk Drop’ misses though, allowing Newell to boot her in the face. Shining Wizard gets 2 for Newell…before she takes too long climbing the ropes for a moonsault and gets hauled back into a German suplex. Newell (barely) lands her moonsault second time of asking. After unsuccessful interference from Faith, Nixon polishes Nadia off with a superkick at 07:11.
Rating - ** - I could have done with this one going longer. Nadia is infinitely better inside the ring than she is as a valet, and Newell is comfortably one of the best workers on the show thus far. They had an entertaining little back and forth, which ended far too soon for my taste. It felt like these women could do something considerably more substantial together and had only just gotten going.
SIDENOTE – Something for Empress to consider – every match on the show thus far has had the same formula. Self-obsessed, arrogant, pretty, ‘look at me’ heel woman employing typical 'b*tch' tactics wrestles quiet, understated babyface. Every match has been a play on the same basic premise. Hopefully for future events we’ll see a little more variety in terms of what talent is used and how they are booked.
Rhia O’Reilly/Addy Starr vs Bete Noir/Viper – Anything Goes Match
With no disrespect to any of the hard working women who have appeared on the show thus far, this one is where the serious talent on this event is. Rhia has worked several SHIMMER and SHINE dates, Addy is a well travelled competitor who has appeared on several prominent indy promotions in the US and Noir is a HELL of a talent who has impressed many and competed in Japan. Viper is the one I’ve seen least of, but she certainly looks an intimidating figure too.
O’Reilly starts with Viper and is totally unable to cope with her size, and it’s only the interjections of her tag partner that hand her the early advantage. Addy starts throttling Viper and has to remind the ref that it’s No DQ so he can’t do anything about it. Viper STABS RHIA WITH A PLASTIC SWORD! The fake sell job ROR does on that before bouncing back out of the corner to continue beating her down is a joy to watch. Noir makes the save, running in and taking it to both opponents with a mannequin head...so Addy gives her a hanging double knee in the corner then a cannonball senton for 2. Lego is scattered onto the mat, with Starr and Bete battling over it. GERMAN SUPLEX IN THE LEG by Noir! But before she can make the tag Addy grabs her and grinds her face into the Lego! COMPUTER KEYBOARD KICKED INTO HER FACE! BUTTERFLY SUPLEX IN THE LEGO! NORTHERN LIGHTS AS WELL! Just when Noir looks to have nothing left she lunges into a crossbody and collides mid-ring with Starr…bringing tags all round. Viper decimates O’Reilly with an Earthquake Splash, then dives off the apron at both opponents when they try to flee. ELECTRIC CHAIR/ACE CRUSHER COMBO IN THE LEGO by She-X! O’Reilly saves her partner from certain defeat with a double underhook DDT, before Starr recovers with an Irish flag enforced lungblower. RHIADJUSTMENT ON THE LEGO! O’Reilly and Starr pick up the win at 12:20
Rating - *** - I had high hopes for this one and they certainly didn’t disappoint, delivering a really solid formula tag match with the added perk of some really nifty weapons spots. Fighting the second half of the match on a canvas covered in Lego was a really cool visual and really emphasised just how tough all four of these women are. I felt Starr and O’Reilly’s international pedigree showed at times, but Noir and Viper are undeniably extremely talented and their big physical presence means they have a bright future. As SHIMMER is the only all-female promotion I watch with any degree of regularity I hope to see them pop up there at some point. Noir in particular has a real, innate physical charisma and rugged physicality which I think will see her go far.
Tape Rating - ** - Obviously this show is a little rough around the edges. It’s an upstart promotion presenting a niche product, in a limited market (the British independent scene is strong, but nothing compared to the US or Japan obviously), on a shoestring budget. It’s a single cam shoot, meaning occasionally the visuals aren’t great, there are plenty of blurred shots and shaky cam moments. HOWEVER, the one thing that oozes from this show is workrate. Some of the women competing here may not be the most experienced, skilful or talented (at this point in their careers), but watching an entire event filled with performers who are clearly putting a real shift in and busting their asses is a real joy to watch. The midcard is somewhat limited, and the format of the events may need some tweaking if Empress is to run more regularly – but I found plenty to enjoy. Nikki Storm is outstanding in the opening match. Faith Lehaine’s methodical, mat-based approach in her match really struck a chord with me. Nixon Newell’s energy in the semi-main was great…and it all built to four extremely tough, talented women contesting a really strong main event. If you’re looking for SHIMMER or All Japan Women quality in every match you’re going to be disappointed. However, if you like women’s wrestling and you want to support it being presented as more of an athletic spectacle then this could well be a project you want to get behind. At only $9 this is an extremely decent and really solid first ever live event for the promotion. Fingers crossed we see plenty more from them in 2015 (and beyond)
You can find out more about the promotion (including links to the MP4 download of this show) at http://www.facebook.com/EmpressPro
Top 3 Matches
3) Nixon Newell vs Nadia Sapphire (**)
2) Pollyanna vs Nikki Storm (***)
1) Rhia O’Reilly/Addy Starr vs Bete Noir/Viper (***)