ROH 375 – Conquest Tour: Hopkins – 25th April 2015
I mean no disrespect to the local Minnesotan fans, but Hopkins isn’t a huge town for Ring Of Honor. I know one of Kevin Steen’s last shows was in Hopkins and he showed plenty of love to the crowd – but just being realistic, not a lot of great content has been taped here. They’ve got another unfortunately timed show tonight which sits between the 13th Anniversary/Supercard Of Honor stretch and the forthcoming New Japan shows. With none of the big drawing part time acts booked (not even Daniels and Kazarian are flown in tonight) this show is another mixed bag of core contracted guys in semi-decent matches plus random guys from around the local indies to make up the numbers. The main event is a big one though, with Jay Lethal defending the TV Title against Kyle O’Reilly – in a match which actually got mentioned (in passing) on the TV show a couple of weeks ago. Other potentially interesting matches include Page/ACH, Strong/Silas and War Machine’s biggest test since their return to the tag ranks in the form of the Briscoes. Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino are in Hopkins, MN.
Ariya Daivari vs Bobby Fish
This is Ariya’s second booking on the Conquest Tour. He’s Shaun Daivari’s younger brother and not only do they look pretty similar but they wrestle pretty similar styles too. Daivari Jr.’s style is perhaps a little more playful though and he looked just fine in his debut, although not someone I was clamouring to see more of (like Chris Dickinson for instance). Fish is on the rebound and still incredible pissed off at being screwed out of the ROH Tag Titles in San Antonio. Will Daivari feel his frustration tonight?
This venue is basically a gymnasium, with big glass windows in the ceiling to show how light it is outside. With Kevin Kelly visibly coaching Scarlett Bordeaux on how to do her ring announcing and Steve Corino cracking jokes about Sinclair officials having a meeting with talent to cut down on cursing, the entire set-up reeks of B-show. Bobby is in a jovial mood too, despite Daivari embarrassing him by continually doing the Persian Party Dance in his face. More amateur antics next as they marginally fudge a basic dropkick spot and can be heard loudly apologising to each other. Daivari looks to attack the knee injury he suffered at the hands of the KRD on television which I really like. That’s great continuity and should be applauded. He’s making a decent fist of working the body part, even though he must be able to hear the two goofball announcers ignoring the match to crack jokes about Jerry Lawler. Fish looks to throw strikes but finds his leg really bothering him. He settles for some throws instead – first a Samoan drop then an exploder into the turnbuckles for 2. McGuinness-like hammerlock DDT by Ariya, only for him to MISS the Magic Carpet Ride. Fish picks up the win with a falcon arrow at 10:21
Rating - ** - A pleasant enough opening match. I liked Daivari a lot more this time. He maintained elements of that ‘Persian Party Boy’ persona he has, but at times dialled that back and let his wrestling do the talking for him and it wasn’t terrible. It seemed like Fish was helping him through the match, but there’s no shame in that – it’s what a veteran is supposed to do. You’ll forget as soon as both men are back through the curtain but I never once felt bored.
Romantic Touch vs Will Ferrara vs Beer City Bruiser vs Cheeseburger
I would happily skip this match right now. Ferrara may have some potential, but the other three are all awful. If Ferrara can carry these three guys to anything remotely watchable then I’ll really start to believe he has something to offer the wrestling business. Cheeseburger is little, and the joke is done to death no matter how much Jushin Liger and New Japan might think otherwise. Yet his gimmick is fresh as a daisy compared to poor Romantic Touch, who has been booked far less frequently in 2015. Bruiser is new to the roster, having debuted in the 2015 TPT. He is horrible. Not in the ‘he’s fat and looks gross’ way his gimmick markets him. Just in a ‘he looks like sh*t and makes ROH look like a worse company every time they book him’ way…
Bruiser stands on the apron, on the hard camera side…so his big fat ass is obscuring a huge portion of the ring. At least that means he isn’t starting the match I suppose. Ferrara starts with Touch, who exhausts the majority of his tired comedy spots (simulated anal sex, simulated masturbatory wristlock, general pelvic gyration) in mere seconds. Cheeseburger gets flattened by BCB…so he steals his beer and runs away. As usual the Bruiser (who looks like he has gained weight since his last appearance) is completely gassed – and slumps against the ropes in a sweaty mess as Ferrara flies past him to drop RT with a tornado DDT. Snuggle-monkey flip on BCB! Holy sh*t Romantic Touch has a new spot! It’s basically an INVERTED Pedigree (meaning he teabags his opponent on the way down), and Ferrara is the unlucky recipient. Tower Of Doom spot takes out three of the four men, leaving Cheese alone in the ring to drink more of the Bruiser’s beer. Sliding DDT on Will. SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA ON ROMANTIC TOUCH! Oh Christ….Beer City Bruiser nearly murders Burger with a cannonball off the apron. But as he strolls around the ring in celebration Ferrara takes flight with a TOPE SUICIDA INTO A TORNADO DDT TO THE GUARDRAILS! Sonic Boom on Touch! He wins at 09:42
Rating - * - I strongly dislike most of the competitors in this match, so obviously I didn’t particularly enjoy this. But, to give praise where it’s due – it was considerably better than I had anticipated, with a really hot finish. The fact that Ferrara won, at the expense of Romantic Touch who is the most experienced ROH competitor (and also the most tired gimmick) is solid booking too. Apparently Ferrara is wrestling Kushida during the New Japan tour. That will be a big test as to how much he’s improved in recent months.
Michael Elgin vs Caprice Coleman
Unbreakable feels that he has been extremely harshly treated by Ring Of Honor. The fans turned on him when he was World Champion. He was left to rot in Canada after losing the World Title to Jay Briscoe, and when he finally got his rematch it was in a four-way at the 13th Anniversary Show – where he feels like he was screwed by Nigel McGuinness. He has vowed to make ROH pay and take out his misery on everyone he comes across. Tonight he has the evergreen Caprice Coleman in his sights.
Coleman unsettles Elgin and drives him out of the ring with the success of his early ventures. However, his persistent use of the inside out moonsault to the floor comes back to haunt him as Elgin knows it’s coming and blocks it. The sour former World Champion bludgeons him against the railings…until the fans start liking it so he immediately stops. 619 around the ringpost by Caprice ends the onslaught and allows him to return to the ring with a missile dropkick. It is only temporary respite tough as Michael clobbers him with the somersault leg drop to the back of the head. Springboard heel kick by Coleman, followed by the standing leap super rana for 2. Trinity blocked with a Roaring Elbow…and a double stomp to the head has Coleman on the brink. Fear not though wrestling fans. This is Ring Of Honor, where all the undercard wrestlers do the exact same spot in every match they work…which means that Caprice has another comeback sequence worked in so he can finally hit that inside-out moonsault to the floor. Sky Splitter gets 2! Elgin evades the Mind Trip and lariats the sh*t out of him. He’s still reeling from that as the Buckle Bomb/Elgin Bomb combo polishes him off. Elgin wins at 10:43
Rating - ** - Competently wrestled, but never once did this become exciting at all. It felt like two solid workers on a B-show, cruising through their routines with the minimum amount of effort required. Sadly this is what ROH is all about these days; the undercard doesn’t matter on major shows, let alone house shows in their least significant markets.
Adam Page vs ACH
The Decade have had problems with ACH for a long time, and they resurfaced again at Episode 188 of the TV show when Page tried to burn one of ACH’s shirts. Although their impromptu match didn’t amount to anything in San Antonio, I’m hoping they get twenty minutes tonight to product the sort of breakout match that I’m certain Page is capable of. He is pissed off that ACH gets opportunities he can only dream of – and tonight is his chance to make a point, steal a show and start getting a few more of those high profile matches for himself.
ACH enforces his popularity by shaking hands with the entire front row, plus the commentators. He is too quick for Page inside the ring too, bouncing around off the canvas to level him with a precise dropkick. FLAGPOLE HEADSCISSORS nailed on the floor! Page desperately runs away from his opponent…before adopting a classic BJ Whitmer tactic of tying him in the ring apron in order to lay in some shots. The Decade member shows his in-ring intelligence by grounding ACH and slowing the pace. He doesn’t want to take flight or give his agile opponent any distance – he rides him on the ground with chinlocks and abdominal stretches. He looks to be targeting the midsection (shades of former Decade member Roderick Strong perhaps?), and attacks the body part with another Whitmer move – the rapid powerslam as a counter to an oncoming opponent. Eventually the two men collide mid-ring attempting crossbody blocks, but of course that damages ACH far more due to the existing injury he is battling through. Gone are the flips and tricks from ACH’s repertoire – he fires back at Adam with a kick flurry and a RUNNING LARIAT for 2! Freebird Crossbody misses though and he pays for that more extravagant offence with a JUMPING DDT by Page! He shoulders at the ribs again to leave ACH in position for the slingshot somersault clothesline. They battle over a suplex AND BOTH MEN CRASH TO THE FLOOR! ACH is the first man up…but his rib injuries mean he doesn’t attempt his normal dive spot and PAGE RAMS HIM INTO THE GUARDRAILS! SSP OFF THE APRON BY PAGE! ACH blocks a superplex and hits a flying double stomp to the back of the head for 2. 450 SPLASH MISSED! HERO’S GRIP BLOCKED WITH A LOW BLOW! PAGE WINS! It’s a huge moment in the career of Adam Page as he’s stolen a win over ACH at 16:38
Rating - **** - Yes, the finish was lame, but I’ll try to give Delirious a pass on that since my hope is that this won’t be the last time we see Page and ACH in the ring together. Focusing on what matters, this is the match I’ve been waiting to see from Adam Page for a long time. It was taped for Road Rage television too, so in my mind this has to be the moment he breaks out and starts getting a far more prominent role in Ring Of Honor. He and ACH are stylistically so suited as opponents – with Page’s aggression and Decade-influenced old school sensibilities perfectly contrasting to ACH’s showmanship and athleticism. ACH wrestled a great match too, really selling me on both the injury to his ribs and the general importance of this match to him. A genuinely enjoyable undercard bout, which isn’t something you can always say about Ring Of Honor shows these days.
The end of the match doesn’t mean the end of the fight. ACH and Page have to be separated as they continue brawling. We haven’t seen the last of these two (thankfully). ACH hits a running moonsault onto a flock of jobbers for kicks.
Danny Duggan vs Arik Cannon
The Duggan competing here is the Canadian one, not the British worker of the same name. Like most people, I’m probably more interested in the return to ROH of Arik Cannon. That’s if you can class appearing on a Do Or Die event more than a decade ago as ever really being in ROH in the first place. Cannon is a veteran of the indies, briefly found success in DGUSA, but has always been held back by his look. His work has had its detractors over the years too, but I’ve always found him entertaining enough inside the ropes. He is another left-field bring in for ROH in 2015 but I’m up for seeing more of him. He’s preferable to Romantic Touch, Cheeseburger and Beer City Bruiser at any rate.
Arik Cannon has grown out his beard meaning he looks like a teeny tiny Dave Mastiff. Duggan’s 90’s-influenced gear is more over than Michael Elgin. The Anarchist is clearly the superior wrestler so Danny wisely tries to keep him on the canvas. Perfect-plex gets 2, before Cannon hits one of his trademark jumping enziguris. A suplex into the turnbuckles drops Arik again, but he springs into life and hits TOTAL ANARCHY to take him a victory at 05:19
Rating - DUD - It was great to see Cannon and I’d be very up for seeing more of him in Ring Of Honor, but the lay-out of this did neither wrestler any favours. The whole match felt like a set-up to get Danny Duggan and the ROH training camps over (he’s attended a couple). Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino spent most of the match praising him on commentary and he was in control for the vast majority of it. Yet in the end his offence amounted to very little. On the flip side, if the idea was to bring Arik Cannon back and see if he has gas left in the tank for an ROH run then why did they spend half the match putting Duggan over and having him kick The Anarchist’s ass? In actuality this felt like an ill-conceived waste of time.
ODB is supposed to work a Women Of Honor (remember them?) match next, but is interrupted by Truth Martini. He trashes her for associating with the Briscoes as the heat between Jay Lethal and the World Champion continues to simmer, then challenges her to a match. They actually try to work a regular match, which nobody needs to see and I can’t be bothered to review. There are no winners here. Seeing Martini beaten up by ODB accomplishes very little, and watching Truth take it to ODB isn’t particularly interesting either. ODB drinks, slaps her tits…and eventually loses after Jay Lethal sneaks in and gives her a superkick. The Briscoes come out but can’t lay a finger on the House Of Truth before they retreat. Not a great segment…
Silas Young vs Roderick Strong
The Last Real Man is just back from injury and doesn’t appear to have gotten any happier during his time off. He has months of lost earnings to make up for and is looking to climb the mountain as quickly as possible with a victory over ‘Mr ROH’. If Roddy wants championship opportunities he’ll know this is the sort of match he needs to be winning.
In the sea of uninspired, underdeveloped and directionless wrestlers that is ROH these days, the fact that Silas is actually identifiable, has a clear gimmick and personality means that even though he’s supposed to be a heel he normally gets at least a smattering of cheers everywhere he goes. It’s great to see him back and his grouchy narration makes the exchanging of basic holds with Strong very entertaining. Both men have sizeable egos and are happy to spend a lengthy period of time trying to prove their superiority on the canvas. Young is, of course, the first to break from that pattern – taking a cheap shot at Mr ROH and taking control for the first time. His approach actually plays into all the gear switching crap that Strong normally gets hyped for in that he continually prevents Strong from getting any distance, laying in any strikes or even come up from the canvas for long periods. When Roddy does get an opportunity to sprint, Young is ready and cuts him off again with a hotshot into the top rope. MODIFIED MUSO by Strong! A great piece of offence on a guy who won’t let you get any distance from him. Gibson Driver blocked…Sick Kick countered into the Killer Combo! Then it’s Roddy’s turn to block the Plunge – in innovative fashion by jerking Silas straight into the turnbuckles. Young goes for the Super McLariat…Strong ducks…SPRINGBOARD LARIAT INSTEAD! Pee Gee Waja Plunge…into the Stronghold! Young escapes with a knee strike for 2. He tries the Plunge again, only for Roderick to swat him off the top rope and dive to the floor with a flying kick. The Last Real Man returns brandishing the ring bell though – and hammers Roderick in the stomach with it! Bizarrely, Strong no sells it and gives him the Sick Kick for the win at 17:19
Rating - *** - It was pleasing to see a Ring Of Honor undercard match get time to breathe for once. I won’t pretend this was the most exciting wrestling contest you’ll ever see, but they held my attention well and the whole thing was a timely reminder of exactly what Silas Young has to offer when used correctly. My favourite thing about the match was his approach, which essentially nullified all the usual things Strong does. He didn’t allow him to hit the ropes or run around hitting knee strikes. It took Strong three or four attempts to execute his trademark superplex…and at no point was Mr ROH able to utilise his go-to tactic of working the back. The finish was weird and wasn’t particularly favourable to Silas, but this was rewarding viewing on the whole.
War Machine vs Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe
Before Ray Rowe got injured, these two teams were starting to develop a pretty intense rivalry. They’d contested some intensely physical brawls, we’d seen men go through tables and matches thrown out. Now War Machine are back on the scene it seems obvious they’d want to revisit this issue as soon as possible – particularly since they now have the added incentive of potentially pinning the World Champion. Things have been fairly straight forward to them thus far in their comeback – crushing jobber teams in mere seconds…but this match tonight (plus their showdown with the Killer Elite Squad on TV the week after) will be a stern examination of their credentials as a top level time in ROH.
Mark and Hanson are first in, and neither holds anything back when it comes to their strikes. As I’ve spoken about before, serious Mark Briscoe is SO much better than goofball Chicken Briscoe. He gets a pasting from both sides by War Machine though and is left on the deck, probably seeing little cartoon chickens flittering round his head. At the five minute point Jay hasn’t even been allowed into the ring having been restricted to watching from the apron as his little brother takes a hell of a beating. The World Champ is a talented individual though and quickly turns the match around by dropping Rowe on his neck with a stiff lariat. The Briscoes show their veteran instincts by isolating Rowe who is clearly the weaker link and untested as this match has gone longer than any other since his return from injury. He survives the onslaught and hits the Cement Mixer before bringing Hanson back. Jay Driller blocked as Mark hits the Uncle Mule Kick on Rowe. All four men are in the ring and ready to fight! Cactus clothesline from Jay to Hanson! BACK BODY DROP OVER THE TURNBUCKLES from Rowe to Mark! He returns to save Jay from the Fallout…so Hanson stops the Briscoes from hitting the Doomsday Device. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM on Jay gets 2. MARK DIVES OFF THE TOP AND GETS POWERBOMBED ON HIS HEAD! Fallout blocked…DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON ROWE! He falls out of the ring so Mark hits a BLOCKBUSTER TO THE FLOOR! JAY DRILLER ON HANSON! HE KICKS OUT! Nobody saw that coming! JAY DRILLER AGAIN! It’s over at 14:24
Rating - **** - Perhaps I’m in a minority, but I loved this. We got to see four big, tough dudes beating the absolute hell out of each other. At first it was a solid by-the-numbers tag match, but it exploded into life at ten minutes and was electric in the final act. War Machine traded big double team spots with the legends of tag team wrestling in Ring Of Honor, and Hanson getting to kick out of the Jay Driller was a GREAT nearfall. Personally I’d have liked to see War Machine go over here too. The Briscoes are over anyway, Jay didn’t exactly need a win either – where as Hanson and Rowe going over Mark would have been huge for them. Call that a missed opportunity to create a really hot new act in the tag division, but it shouldn’t take away from this being an enjoyable whirlwind of a sub-main event.
All four shake hands and hug after the match, perhaps as a sign of unity as Kevin Kelly reminds us that they’ll be teaming up against the Bullet Club when New Japan comes to town next month.
Jay Lethal vs Kyle O’Reilly – ROH TV Title Match
At the very start of the Conquest Tour we saw O’Reilly defeat Lethal in Milwaukee. It was part of a Champions Challenge match, which saw the World and TV Champions join forces to face Tag Champions reDRagon. On that night tension between Lethal and Briscoe simmered, enabling Kyle to sneak in and score a clean victory over the TV Champ. That was enough to earn him this opportunity, but as Lethal pointed out on television during a live Fish Tank segment recently – tonight he plans to prove that it was nothing more than a fluke.
Lethal now has a modified plate on his belt, removing all mention of it being the TV Title and simply proclaiming him ROH Champion. O’Reilly is an extremely dangerous challenger and has Lethal diving out of the ring as he dominates the opening minutes. It’s a tough ask for Jay since his natural defence of trying to ground his opponent to protect himself isn’t open to him either – since Kyle is his superior on the canvas too. The champ can’t escape O’Reilly’s headlocks, and even when he leaves the ring Kyle simply dives off the apron into another headlock. But Lethal hasn’t been TV Champion for more than a year on a fluke – he’s an opportunistic competitor and he snatches an opportunity here to throw his challenger into the guardrails. An early attempt at the Lethal Injection is blocked though, and O’Reilly launches into an assault on the arm. ARM-SELLING hiptoss dropkick by Lethal! Is it weird that moments like that are why I still love wrestling even as I grow older and more cynical? He gets tossed shoulder-first into the railings to stunt his comeback and at fifteen minutes the title is in serious jeopardy. Drastic times call for drastic measures, and Truth Martini strikes – nailing Kyle with the Book Of Truth as he tries to capture Jay into a hanging armbar. The arm is still hampering Lethal’s progress but he is in charge now – defying the injury to wear Kyle down with a battery of moves targeting his neck and back. STRIKE FLURRY by O’Reilly, before he breaks out an old signature spot of his – the rolling butterfly suplexes, all of which further wrench that damaged arm. KNEE STRIKE TO THE FACE! HANGING GUILLOTINE! WITH THE ARM CAPTURED! COUNTERED TO THE LETHAL COMBINATION! BOTH MEN DOWN! A battle-weary Jay Lethal climbs to the top rope to deliver an ARM-SELLING HAIL TO THE KING…for 2! He wants to superplex the back, but Kyle counters to A SUPER ARMBAR DDT! FUJIWARA ARMBAR! LETHAL COUNTERS TO A SUPLEX OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! O’Reilly narrowly beats the count back in – and comes back in begging Jay to hit him! Both men swing for the fences until they can barely stand. AXE & SMASH! NO SOLD! SUPERKICK! NO SOLD! JAWBREAKER LARIAT! SOLO CHASING THE DRAGON! LETHAL KICKS OUT! ARM-AGEDDON! LEBELL LOCK! LETHAL MAKES THE ROPES! With just a minute left in the time limit both collapse as they desperately throw strikes. LETHAL INJECTION…COUNTERED IN MID-AIR TO ARM-AGEDDON AGAIN! FIFTEEN SECONDS LEFT! TEN SECONDS! FIVE! LETHAL HOLDS ON! 30:00 TIME LIMIT DRAW!
Rating - ****1/2 - These two have been in brilliant form thus far in 2015. Roderick Strong is getting all the plaudits for his performances, but in Ring Of Honor Lethal and O’Reilly have been every bit as good as him. Therefore it was no surprise that, with half an hour to play with, they delivered an instant classic. The Eddie Edwards vs Christopher Daniels 2/3 Falls MOTYC for the TV Title back at the 9th Anniversary Show has been my favourite Television Title Match for a LONG time – but this is now a genuine contender to that spot. As I’ve been saying for a long time, O’Reilly has all the hallmarks of a true ROH great. Combining the mat wrestling prowess of Bryan Danielson, the MMA-influenced style of Davey Richards and the blistering explosiveness of Austin Aries – he could potentially be one of the best ever if he continues to get chances like this to deliver at main event level. And as good as Kyle was tonight, Lethal was every bit as outstanding. It’s easy to see why people are now actively clamouring for Lethal to be the man that finally defeats Briscoe. His wrestling is superb, he grasps his character superbly, he interacts with and utilises Truth Martini so well (to form a partnership Matt Taven could only dream of), and he sold incredibly well for Kyle tonight too. This could even pip Strong/Alberto for MOTY thus far. Well worth seeing the full, unedited version rather than the cut down version that will air on television.
In a moment of brilliance that you just couldn’t script, the fans demand five more minutes then start chanting ‘Man Up’ at Lethal. Obviously the implication is that he should ‘man up’ and continue the match, but given what is going on with him and Jay Briscoe it’s the perfect chant for him to play off. He walks out, just as he did with ACH in 2014…but is met on the ramp by Briscoe himself! Since Lethal is too much of a coward to go to extra time with O’Reilly, Briscoe is out here to defend the ROH World Title against him instead! The match barely gets started before Lethal attacks them both with the TV Title belt though. Mark Briscoe and Bobby Fish form an unlikely duo as a rescue act…and ODB shows up to end the show making a complete hash of putting Truth Martini through a table.
Tape Rating - *** - Out of absolutely nowhere, without Samoa Joe or any major non-contracted talent and with perhaps the most underwhelming card of all the (non TV-taping) Conquest Tour shows, this was a hell of a night. There is some crap to get through (particularly Truth/ODB) and some of the usual questionable booking – but amidst all that we had a real break-out evening for a number of people. Adam Page finally delivered the star-making match we’ve been waiting for with ACH. Silas Young returned against Roderick Strong and reminded everyone how much of a solid worker he is. War Machine took the Briscoes to the limit in a match which was so much better than I’d expected. And the epic, 30-minute main event proved whilst O’Reilly is more than ready to step into a main event role, Jay Lethal is now more than ready to carry the company. It’s easy to look at this DVD, realise that Styles, the Young Bucks, Samoa Joe, Alberto El Patron, Christopher Daniels, Adam Cole and more aren’t on it then move on. This, however, was WELL worth $15 on a VOD – and since it won’t sell out wait a few months and you should be able to pick it up for an absolute bargain price on DVD too. I’m almost stunned at how much I enjoyed this.
Top 3 Matches
3) Jay Briscoe/Mark Briscoe vs War Machine (****)
2) Adam Page vs ACH (****)
1) Jay Lethal vs Kyle O’Reilly (****1/2)