ROH 372 – Conquest Tour: Milwaukee – 13th March 2015
I understand why ROH has ditched individual show names for all but their biggest events and started grouping their house shows into ‘tours’…but part of me misses the random DVD names. The Turner Hall Ballroom has become one of ROH’s hottest buildings, with a lively crowd that normally ensures a pretty enjoyable show – even for events like tonight, which don’t have the strongest of line-ups. Sure the Champions Challenge main event (Tag Champions reDRagon against World Champion Jay Briscoe and TV Champion Jay Lethal) and the in-ring return of Samoa Joe look good, but beneath that the card looks ominously low key. Will Ferrara, Cheeseburger and Beer City Bruiser all have singles matches, which doesn’t bode well. Worryingly this show isn’t even a big enough deal for super-dork Kevin Kelly to make the trip. Joe Dumbrowski is replacing him alongside Steve Corino tonight…although that actually means the commentary will be slightly better than usual. We're in Milwaukee, WI.
Ariya Daivari vs Roderick Strong
If the last name looks familiar, it’s because Ariya is Shawn (aka Khosrow, aka DelAvar) Daivari’s little brother. He is from the Minnesota region and has clearly impressed enough (or paid sufficient funds at a training camp) to get a spot. It’s a big spot too, since he gets to face a Roderick Strong who has been in the form of his life thus far in 2015. With his eyes firmly set on a return to the top of the mountain, Strong will see this as nothing more than a formality.
Apparently Daivari doesn’t want to go along with the traditional middle eastern stereotypes in wrestling. So he comes out with a Persian carpet naturally. Dumbrowski is already breaking out more historical knowledge than Kelly normally musters. Ariya continues his quest to not be considered a typical Arabian wrestler by doing some Arabian dancing. He isn’t interested in locking up with Strong, but eventually his idiotic dancing proves his undoing as Roddy hammers home some chops and a backbreaker. The ‘Iranian Eye Poke’ (in defence, that was Corino’s call not Daivari’s) brings Ariya back into proceedings. Camel Clutch applied (seriously, how is Daivari in any way trying NOT to be a stereotypical Arabic villain character?), exposing how badly Strong needs a haircut as his hair falls into a brutal mid-90’s centre parting. Half Nelson Backbreaker blocked by Ariya…before they both have a hand in a dismal botched leapfrog spot in the ropes. Roddy gets the crowd back quickly with a violent baseball slide which propels Daivari Jr. into the guardrails. Ariya escapes Death By Roderick with a Roaring Elbow, then hits the ‘Iranian Drop’ (torture rack neckbreaker) for a nearfall. A superplex which more closely resembles an avalanche brainbuster scores for Roderick…only to be put down again with a hammerlock DDT. Daivari sets up the Magic Carpet Ride…but misses! Death By Roderick followed by a MAGIC CARPET SICK KICK! Ariya taps to the Stronghold at 10:08
Rating - ** - I almost called this ‘inoffensive fun’, but I imagine to any Middle Eastern wrestling fans this was actually very offensive. There is no way Corino would have got away with some of his wisecracks on TV or PPV, but in a way that added to the charm of this match. I don’t think Daivari made much of an impression, but aside from one obvious botch (which Strong may have been equally culpable for) he didn’t do a lot wrong either. I do think he needs more of his own identity rather than wrestling like a mash up of every Muslim villain there has ever been. It’s also worth pointing out that Strong was insanely over. It’s almost a shame his popularity was wasted on an enhancement match.
Will Ferrara vs Silas Young
This is Young’s comeback from a serious leg injury which has kept him out of competition since the back end of 2014. It’s fitting that he makes his return in his hometown, where he normally gets a pretty healthy ovation even if he doesn’t always covet it. His opponent is coming down after losing the 2015 Top Prospect Tournament final and knows that, like always, his lack of size makes this a tough test.
Young’s expression is fantastically blank as he gets a colossal ovation for his return. He struggles to pin down the rapid rookie though and has to leave the ring to kill the momentum he’d started to build. He finally returns and is roundly cheered for slapping Ferrara in the face! He tries to bash his head against the ringpost only to be tripped out of the ring. Will tries a SPRINGBOARD DDT OFF THE RAILS…but crashes and burns and eats the wooden floor as Silas steadfastly refuses to go down. There’s nothing flashy from Young in response – he simply treads on Ferrara’s face and applies a deep chinlock. A snap suplex sees Will escape that (much to the annoyance of the crowd). The hostility towards Ferrara is growing in intensity, particularly once he counters the Plunge into the flying tornado DDT for 2. Sonic Boom gets another nearfall and has the crowd on the edge of their seats genuinely buying that as a potential finish. Killer Combo by Silas! And he hit that on the bad leg to prove that he is fully healed. MMA ELBOWS by Ferrara to block the Plunge for a third time…then a roll-up to block it for a fourth! Young boots Will in the balls and is the recipient of a hugely unpopular DQ decision at 11:21
Rating - *** - In front of any other crowd this would have been an average match with a terrible finish. But this was PERFECT for the Milwaukee crowd. Silas didn't break character once but, unlike the horrifically booked Michael Elgin World Title Match in the same building, was actually able to quietly go about giving the fans what they wanted to see. Ferrara gave his usual erratic but strangely enjoyable performance and his smaller stature made him the ideal whipping boy in a Silas Young match. Even the finish, which in any other market would have been appalling, was a great way to end this. Ferrara gets to go over, but it seriously enhances Silas’ anti-hero reputation in this market. Delirious needs to realise he has a ‘CM Punk in Chicago’ type deal with Young in Milwaukee and do whatever he can to protect it. Perhaps not in the most conventional of manners – but I thought he did just that here.
Beer City Bruiser vs Mark Briscoe
I really don’t see how Beer City has got another booking. I get that it’s kind of funny, but is this really the sort of wrestling product ROH want to present. I’m not saying he’s the best worker in the world, but AR Fox is a free agent right now…and we get stuck with an old, toothless lard-ass? Presumably he’s more popular in Milwaukee since this is his hometown. Mark is pretty popular in most of the towns Ring Of Honor visit, which is just as well because more often than not his singles matches are very average. Can he drag something watchable out of BCB?
Groan. I forgot how utterly repellent Bruiser is. I couldn’t care less whether Harley Race trained him or not, this is just horrendous to sit through. Corino rounds off the disgraceful scene by rambling on about what Joe Dumbrowski’s farts smell like. The main problem I have with BCB isn’t his size or gimmick – it’s that he absolutely sucks. He is gassed after less than a minute and every spot he does looks more fake than Cheeseburger powerslamming Andre The Giant. By the four minute mark he has done almost nothing but is gasping on the ropes and panting like an out of shape hobo at a charity 10k. Any energy he has left is used up with a running hip attack/cannonball combo. Naturally, the one thing this match needs to get even worse is Briscoe’s tired old Redneck Kung Fu routine…which he breaks out next because he hasn’t been too interested in freshening up his routine for the last three years. This is a definite candidate for worst ROH match of 2015, and it shows no signs of ending. Beer City lugs his fat ass up the ropes (with his trunks hanging round his ass) but then collapses once he reaches the top, presumably because he’s out of shape and terrible at his job. Briscoe puts this sh*tfest out of it’s misery with the Froggy Bow at 09:17
Rating - DUD - This was bad. And bad not just by modern day standards – had this been run on a show back in the Murphy Rec days when 75% of the card sucked before the Low Ki match, this would STILL have been one of the worst matches on the show. Beer City Bruiser is just dreadful. Even if you don’t judge him on his laughable look, his wrestling is atrocious. The way he telegraphs punches by leaning into them, the way he cautiously bumps, the way he nervously bumbles through his own stuff because he’s afraid of messing up, the way he is so out of shape he is totally out breath two minutes into a match – it’s all so abysmal. How this guy is getting booked is beyond me and probably a great example of how modern day Ring Of Honor is either a) nowhere near as good as people act like it is, or b) has totally passed me by.
BJ Whitmer/Jimmy Jacobs vs RPG Vice
All of a sudden we are fast coming to the end of Jimmy’s ROH run which makes me incredibly sad. The Conquest Tour shows are his last in the company – which hasn’t been openly stated but is acknowledged as something of an ‘open secret’. He reprises his team with Whitmer tonight, amidst simmering tension between the two of them as they start to quarrel about the future direction of The Decade. They face a New Japan team making their first ROH appearance as a duo tonight. Rocky Romero is back and brings with him the debuting Trent Beretta to form ‘Roppongi Vice’, filling the void now that Alex Koslov has taken an extended hiatus from wrestling.
There is almost no difference between RPG Vice’s and Forever Hooligans’ entrance themes, which I find hilarious. Romero starts with Jacobs, and getting repeatedly kicked the Zombie Princess wisely takes him to the ground to nullify the strikes. Rocky jumps off the apron with a flying knee then tags Trent in for his first taste of ROH action. He is met by a surly Whitmer and quickly earns his stripes by trading chops with him. He hits the Jerry Lynn leg drop (Kazarian isn’t booked tonight right?), driving BJ to the apron…where he drops Beretta spine-first! The Decade start brutalising the debutant’s back, and I’m trying to focus on that rather than the crapload of TV spoilers Corino and Dumbrowski are rattling off. Even with that Joe is still far better than Kevin Kelly. Beretta lunges for a tag only to find Romero being yanked off the apron by Whitmer who is being an absolute asshole as always. Jacobs capitalises with a suicide dive then a hanging DDT in the ropes for 2. Trent survives that and stomps on BJ’s face before making the hot tag. Rocky’s striking is lethal and it takes both Decade members to slow him down. All Seeing Eye countered into a flatliner/DDT combo! Gourdbuster/missile dropkick combo by RPG Vice before Trent misses the Gobstopper and walks into the Spear by Jacobs. Rebound Cutter on Rocky! Tornado DDT by Beretta! Lariat by Whitmer! Everyone goes down! Whitmer and Romero are the first up, really laying into each other with the strikes! Rocky eventually lunges into him with a knee strike, and dives up the aisle with a tope. Jacobs gets knees on the senton bomb and eats the Gobstopper knee! STRONG ZERO! Vice get the win at 17:38
Rating - *** - Not necessarily the most glamorous of matches, but all four justified a generous time allocation by working hard and producing the stand-out match of the show thus far by some distance. Jacobs and Whitmer fit seamlessly together as a team. Their experience, not just as a team but of independent wrestling in general, shines through everything they do and most of their work looks effortlessly slick. Whitmer has got better and better as a heel since The Decade formed, and it’s easy to see why they are persisting with the gimmick even after Jimmy’s departure. RPG Vice looked solid too – although perhaps it should be worrying that it was much the same way that Forever Hooligans felt solid, the No Remorse Corps felt solid, or the Havana Pitbulls felt solid. Romero is an extremely proficient worker who has been in and out of Ring Of Honor for a LONG time – and his career is littered with gimmicks, matches and angles which were technically fine but profoundly lacking in excitement or a reason to care. Trent’s run in PWG gives you hope that maybe this could be the run that sticks…even though we’re all probably quietly wishing ROH had booked the Best Friends.
Jimmy Jacobs shakes hands with the victors and gets berated by Whitmer for doing so. Given that Trent is a former WWE guy so directly opposes the mantra The Decade has preached since they formed, you can sort of understand BJ’s annoyance. Jacobs eventually storms off with BJ still yelling at him…
Matt Taven vs Cheeseburger
Taven is the only member of The Kingdom wrestling at tonight. Just as well his opponent is the hapless Cheeseburger, so you suspect he may not need too much assistance anyway. He immediately wins the respect of the fans by motor-boating Scarlett Bordeaux during his entrance. The Kingdom are flying high right now. Even taking into account Maria’s loss to ODB, with the Tag Team Armageddon win over the Briscoes and a 13th Anniversary victory in the bank Bennett and Taven can rightly be considered top contenders to the Tag Titles. Matt will be planning on using this match to maintain his form, momentum and conditioning with bigger challenges laying before him.
Taven cuts a half-decent promo before the match, which will almost certainly be the highlight of this segment. Cheeseburger has added a burger-shaped hat to his costume…which makes him look like a little kid at a pre-school birthday party. His lights are dimmed by an immediate superkick (and that probably should have been the finish). Taven stalks the ring punishing Burger with some major blows – and is getting pretty over with the Milwaukee crowd for doing so. They are going crazy for the ‘shots’ thing which dates back more than a year to Raising The Bar weekend. Cheese kills this match with the least-believable running crossbody ever…only to be caught trying a pescado and slammed into the ringpost. Five Star Frog Splash dodged into the Shotei by CB…which is supposed to be over because he had a funny skit with Jushin Liger nine months ago. Taven hits the Climax and wins at 06:32
Rating - * - Too long, with too much Cheeseburger offence for my taste (I can’t stand the guy) – but Matt Taven looked great here. Since making the established talent look strong is the entire point of enhancement matches such as this it becomes hard to be too critical. At some point Taven (and Bennett for that matter) does need to start delivering on his potential…
Josh Alexander vs Michael Elgin
So where does Elgin’s career take him next? He failed to get the World Title back at the 13th Anniversary and the fans still haven’t taken to him again after turning on him in the second half of 2014. His career is very much at a crossroads, and tonight he starts to rebuild against a man with almost as much experience of problems at the US/Canadian border as he does. Alexander is back for the first time since Monster Mafia unsuccessfully tried to stamp their mark on Ring Of Honor last year. It was a shame they couldn’t work out their visa and booking issues, since the Mafia went on to do some fun things in PWG before Josh got injured. Ethan Page (briefly Ethan Gabriel Owens last year) seemed to burn his bridge when he left ROH, but it’s nice to see Alexander didn’t. He is a talent and ROH fans were delighted to see him back when he was announced for this show.
Apparently Elgin has helped Josh a lot in the past, but has turned his back on him in the last year. Alexander makes an immediate impression by refusing to back down and breaking out a few impressive takedowns on the former World Champion. He doesn’t go down during a test of strength either, hitting a running crossbody THROUGH THE ROPES to the outside. The two trade blows at the side of the ring until Elgin ducks under one and lands a JUMPING STO ON THE APRON! That offensive bomb has Alexander on the defensive for the first time, with the adrenaline starting to fade and Elgin’s elbow strikes starting to do significant damage. Elgin Bomb blocked, into rolling northern lights suplexes. Josh gets kicked into the ropes then gets his neck rattled with the somersault leg drop. Tiger Body Press gets 2! Lariats! SLAP DUEL! ELBOWS! Unbreakable drives his opponent back with a flurry of clotheslines but gets knocked right back with a ROARING ELBOW! NO SOLD! SPINNING BACK FIST! NO SOLD! GERMAN SUPLEX BY JOSH! Both men are down trying to shake the cobwebs loose after that exchange. LARIATOOOOOO! Alexander kicks out! Buckle Bomb! Elgin Bomb COUNTERED with an Alabamaslam into the turnbuckles! Josh then lifts Elgin’s semi-conscious body up the ropes for an avalanche DVD! MOONSAULT MISSED by Alexander! DOUBLE STOMP TO THE EXPOSED NECK! MEGA SPINNING BACKFIST! AND AGAIN! LARIAT AGAIN! Elgin wins at 14:19
Rating - *** - Two matches came to mind as I sat and watched this, albeit I didn’t think this was quite as good as either of them so I didn’t push my rating up into 4* territory. The first was the Elgin/Silas match from Brew City Beatdown a couple of years ago, as we watched Elgin work extremely hard and deliver an extremely physical match as he looked to earn a long-time friend/rival a spot in ROH. The second was Elgin/Dickinson from the Winter Warriors Tour – where a relatively well-known and established indy worker is brought in from absolutely nowhere and given the chance to work a real stormer with Michael Elgin. Alexander has all the tools to make it in Ring Of Honor - from decent size to strong in-ring skills and solid charisma. I would presume this match did enough to earn him another look…but then again Chris Dickinson came close to stealing the show in Dayton and he hasn’t had a sniff since.
ACH vs Samoa Joe
Sure we have the Champions’ Challenge in the main event and the debut of RPG Vice on the undercard, but being honest this one is the main draw for the Milwaukee leg of the Conquest Tour. Samoa Joe makes his in-ring return for the first time since Rising Above 2008, stepping back into the promotion that probably wouldn’t even exist today without his epic two year reign as World Champion back in the early 00’s. His status as a Ring Of Honor legend means he has been granted an immediate World Title opportunity and is scheduled to headline at Supercard Of Honor 9 in California during WrestleMania weekend. He now has several high profile preparatory bouts as he tries to readjust to the pace and intensity of the ROH style after so many years away. ACH is his first test – and a stern one it is too despite ACH’s less-than-impressive record in high profile singles bouts. Just ask the likes of El Patron, Lethal, Strong, Richards, Cole, Sydal, Styles and more how tough this guy is to defeat…
ACH clowns around and goofs off with the crowd…and walks idiotically into some clubbing kicks to the legs by a smirking Samoa Joe. ACH’s entire approach is bizarre as he talks more smack to the former World Champion then engages him in a totally ill-advised kick exchange. E HONDA SLAPS BY ACH! NO SOLD! Joe murders him with jabs…so ACH tries hitting him with jabs right back. Again his reward is getting the sh*t smacked out of him. At last ACH works out he needs to quicken the pace – back flipping into a dropkick. He double stomps Joe’s leg, trying to open up an injury. Unfortunately he then takes too long setting up a flying crossbody…and eats canvas as his opponent casually dodges it. The chop/kick/knee drop flurry has ACH rolling to the floor, but just when Joe thinks about an Ole Kick he runs straight into a dropkick to the knee! ACH TRIES AN OLE KICK! AND GETS SLAPPED IN THE FACE! OLE KICKS BY JOE! The desperate ACH tries to respond with a springboard off the guardrail only to be caught and spiked straight back into the barriers from whence he came. Running elbows in the corner by ACH…into a DISCUS LARIAT which takes Joe off his feet! Even the pro-Joe crowd can’t help but be impressed by the kid’s performance tonight. He has Joe reeling with the PK KICK FROM THE APRON! He injured his own leg he kicked Joe so hard! ACH is getting cocky, and sits arrogantly astride the top rope posing to the audience before leaping into a double stomp. CHOKE BLOCKED! Joe assassinates him with the mafia kick/senton bomb combo instead for 2. Folding Powerbomb! STF! CROSSFACE! RINGS OF SATURN! Joe is rolling back the years and running through every submission he knows! ACH escapes the Muscle Buster and DVD’S JOE ON HIS NECK! 450 Splash misses…KNEE TO THE FACE! CHOKE! ACH counters to a pinning combination to force the Samoan to break. ST-JOE! MUSCLE BUSTER! Joe wins at 19:04
Rating - **** - He may not be as good as he was ten years ago and it may be popular to bash Joe these days, but when he gets an opponent who was as ON as ACH was in this match, he is more than capable of going through his greatest hits back catalogue to produce a show-stealer. It was great to see Joe back, but he wasn’t the story here. This was ACH’s finest individual performance in Ring Of Honor. He was utterly brilliant here – and the reason this stood out as an awesome match rather than a Samoa Joe nostalgia trip. Realising he probably wasn’t going to be the most popular guy in the ring, he changed his entire attitude – showcasing how annoying, irritating and gnat-like he can be as he buzzed around the bigger man, constantly winding him up, pissing him off and thwarting his offence at every turn. He took a hell of a beating (which ultimately cost him the match), but he had Joe on the run at times and was actually so good he converted most of the crowd into ACH fans by the end. I am thrilled to see Joe back, and for that reason I almost overlooked ACH. He wasn’t the reason I was expecting to enjoy this match at all, but his showing here was world class.
reDRagon vs Jay Briscoe/Jay Lethal
Stacking these four in the main event has made for a relatively weak undercard, but this main event is absolutely intriguing. reDRagon are dominant as Tag Champions, having been in and around the belts for more than two years at this point. As a duo their dominance is almost unmatched…but across the ring from them are two of the most dominant singles performers on the roster. Jay Briscoe, a multi-time former Tag Champion in his own right, hasn’t been pinned in more than two years and is flying high as World Champion having survived THREE of his top challengers at the 13th Anniversary. He teams tonight with TV Champion Jay Lethal, the longest reigning champion of anyone in ROH right now, and the man that firmly believes he has added so much prestige to the Television Title that it is now actually the top prize in Ring Of Honor. Can the two Jays put a petty squabble over who’s title is more significant aside to combat one of the most fearsome tag teams in ROH history? Dumbrowski informs us that they are just a few months away from overtaking the Briscoes as most successful ROH Tag Champs ever in terms of days spent holding the belts.
Lethal and Briscoe immediately start arguing about who gets to start, which the World Champ wins only because the fans piss Lethal off. Of course, pretty soon Lethal blind tags himself in much to Briscoe’s annoyance. He takes a swing at his own tag partner…who tries to walk out! Truth Martini has to convince Lethal to return to action…and his reward is Arm-ageddon by O’Reilly! Martini rescues the TV Champion from that then distracts Kyle so the Jays can have the advantage for the first time. Lethal and Briscoe have really fun chemistry as begrudging team-mates and their lack of cohesion makes them fundamentally incapable of capturing a member of reDRagon for any significant period of time. Briscoe gets fed up and decides to fight both Tag Champions by himself! Rude Awakening drops Fish, after Kyle has been sent sprawling…and he then marches over to Lethal as if to say ‘that’s how you do it’. They take turns beating up Fish, all the while gesturing at each other and trying to one-up the other guy’s offence. Again their lack of teamwork bites them in the ass as O’Reilly storms the ring and sets Briscoe up for the tilta-whirl backbreaker/flying knee drop combo. Lethal draws some laughs by standing on the floor and refusing to help even as both members of reDRagon attack Briscoe. Chasing The Dragon blocked by Briscoe…Fish saves O’Reilly from the Jay Driller! Lethal Injection blocked! JAWBREAKER LARIAT ON LETHAL! SAITO SUPLEX from Fish to Briscoe! All four go down! Lethal is up first with the Lethal Combination on Bobby for 2. Briscoe sends Lethal up to the top…and they seem on the brink of hitting the Doomsday Device until Kyle makes the save with a triangle choke in the ropes. Fish hits a somersault plancha on Briscoe! FLYING DOUBLE STOMP TO LETHAL’S ARM by O’Reilly! Springboard moonsault by Fish, into a CROSS ARMBREAKER! O’Reilly cuts off Briscoe with a guillotine choke…but both the singles champions battle to the ropes to ensure the match continues. Lethal thinks about Hail To The King, then gets pissed off as Briscoe pulls O’Reilly off the ground. DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON O’REILLY! FISH SAVES! Lethal tries to use the Book Of Truth...then gets into a fight with Briscoe when he refuses to use it! JAY BRISCOE NAILS LETHAL WITH THE BOOK OF TRUTH! FUJIWARA ARMBAR! O’Reilly makes the TV Champion tap out at 16:29
Rating - **** - I’m disappointed that, on a house show which doesn’t even reach two and a half hours in length, they couldn’t find more time for this, which perhaps indicates how much I enjoyed it. Joe Dumbrowski did a great job establishing how downright successful all four participants were, and how special it was getting all four of them together in the same ring; that scene setting really elevated this into something quite remarkable. The fracturing relationship between Briscoe and Lethal was a real highlight, laying the early groundwork for an outright feud between ROH’s primary and secondary title holders for the first time since Nigel and Bryan in 2006. Couple their fun character work with the usual outstanding wrestling from reDRagon and you can see why this was so enjoyable. I must confess, before this DVD review I wasn’t particularly excited about this as a main event. Although it clearly was a filler, house show headliner – it actually really surprised me with its genuine quality.
Lethal and Briscoe scream abuse at each other, furious at the loss and each waving their belts proudly.
Tape Rating - ** - A rather typical house show effort from Ring Of Honor, whereby much of the undercard is a non-event, lots of matches don’t get enough time and not a whole lot outside of the main event is worth your time. So against that backdrop of cynicism, I’m actually a bit surprised at how much I enjoyed this show and can’t help but feel that some of the reviews I’ve read are a bit harsh. Of course this won’t be anyone’s favourite show of 2015, but I really feel the quality of the Joe/ACH and Champions’ Challenge main event combo has been undersold. ACH stole the show almost by himself in his match with Samoa Joe, whilst the main event was a lot of fun to watch. Dare I say it, I really like Delirious’ booking here too. It seems like he has decided to pull the trigger on a Briscoe/Lethal feud. I didn’t think he had it in him to book something intelligently and slow-build to something, but he does seem to be taking his time and letting the growing heat between his two singles champions breathe. Don’t expect miracles, and do expect to question your sanity as a wrestling fan during Beer City Bruiser’s match…but two great main events (and two pretty solid undercard bouts in Elgin/Alexander and RPG Vice/Decade) mean your investment as a VOD purchase is far from wasted money.
Top 3 Matches
3) Michael Elgin vs Josh Alexander (***)
2) reDRagon vs Jay Briscoe/Jay Lethal (****)
1) Samoa Joe vs ACH (****)